One Reason
by t-smitts
Summary: After a chance encounter saved Hannah Baker from suicide, she recorded one last tape... for herself. Read and review, please.
1. Chapter 1: Intervention

**_Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker._**

 ** _I know I said no return engagements. Well, I guess that'll teach me to never say never._**

 ** _I recorded thirteen tapes for other people to tell them the role they played in the story of why my life ended._**

 ** _This is the story of why it didn't._**

 ** _And this tape? This tape is for me._**

 ** _Anyway, I suppose I should pick up where I left off. I was walking out of the school for what I absolutely believed would be the last time. Mr. Porter had let me down... or maybe I just told myself he had because that was the outcome I wanted. I know now that at least one thing I'd said in his office was completely wrong. In fact, the thing I was wrong about ended up saving my life... twice, but we'll get to that._**

"I think I've made myself very clear," Hannah said to the tape recorder in her bag. There was no emotion left in her voice. "No one's coming forward to stop me. Some of you-"

Hannah's words were interrupted by the collision with a boy who clearly hadn't been watching where he was going, knocking her bag out of her hands and nearly knocking her over as well.

 ** _I was almost out the door when he bumped into me. I guess you could say he swept me off my feet._**

"Oh, God! Hannah, I'm sorry!" Clay exclaimed, shaking his head in embarrassment, before kneeling down to help her pick up the items strewn from her bag. "I just forgot a paper in my locker I was supposed to hand in. You know how Mr. Warrick gets."

"It's fine," Hannah said as they continued to pick things up. She didn't have it in her to be annoyed or amused anymore.

The same could not be said of Clay, who slapped the floor in frustration.

"Can't seem to do anything lately that doesn't end up hurting you," he muttered, louder than he'd meant to.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"What do you think I'm talking about, Hannah?" Clay asked, shrugging as they both got to their feet. "Jessica's party?"

"Clay," Hannah said, "you didn't hurt me."

"Hannah, I was there. I obviously did something wrong."

"No, you didn't."

"Then what was it? Why did you want me out of there, all of a sudden?"

 ** _I wasn't ready to tell him the answer to that in person. He'd have to wait for the tapes._**

"Never mind," Hannah said, closing her eyes. "Just forget it."

"No, I don't wanna forget it! Hannah, if something's wrong, tell me!"

 ** _If I'd answered differently, or just not said anything and left, or just not run into Clay at all, both our lives would've turned out very differently. I had a plan, an extremely thought-out plan, and explaining myself to Clay didn't fit into it._**

"Would you just stop trying to be my friend, Clay?" Hannah said. "You don't wanna have anything to do with me."

"I do!" Clay answered defensively.

"No, you don't. I'm no good for you." Hannah's eyes started to tear up. "Everyone in my life ends up hurting me, and the few that don't get hurt because of me; you, Jessica, my parents. Trust me, you'll all be better off after-" She stopped herself, realizing she was about to say too much.

In fact, she already had.

"After what?" Clay asked, suddenly feeling very uneasy.

"N- Nothing," Hannah said.

"Hannah, after what?" Clay repeated, looking horrified.

 _ **There was no talking my way out of this. I had to get out of there.**_

"Nothing, forget it! Just leave me alone, Clay!" Hannah broke into a run, shot past Clay, and bolted through the doors, just as the bell rang and a wave of students filled the hallways.

"Hannah!" Clay shouted after her. He stood there, unsure of what to do for a moment...

* * *

 ** _I had just dropped off the tapes with Tony and was home no more than a few minutes, when any last hope of going through the plan went out the window._**

"Hannah?"

In her bedroom, Hannah turned around, startled at the frantic sound of her mother approaching.

"Hannah!" Olivia Baker shouted, as rushed into the room, not bothering to knock. She had a look on her face Hannah had never seen. Hannah was pretty sure it was terror.

"Hannah, do you know a boy named Clay Jensen?" Olivia stared at her daughter.

Hannah said nothing, unsure of what to do.

"He just ran all the way here from school because he thinks you're going to hurt yourself." Olivia's eyes started to well up. "Is that true?"

Hannah was still silent, her eyes instinctively glancing at her bag for an instant.

An instant was enough for Olivia. Looking at the bag, then at Hannah for a moment, Olivia grabbed the bag and started searching through it, until she found what she was looking for.

"Oh my God," Olivia said softly, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Hannah?" Andy Baker rushed into the room, looking at his daughter, then his wife.

Olivia held up the razor blades to her husband.

Horrified, Andy immediately pulled Hannah into an embrace. Olivia threw the bag and razor blades to the floor and threw her arms around both of them.

Hannah didn't speak or even move as her parents squeezed her, both of them crying. Her eyes darted around the room until she saw the boy stepping into the doorway. Clay's hair and clothes were drenched with sweat, his face was deep red, and he was breathing heavily. Still, he kept his gaze on Hannah, crushed between her sobbing parents, and slumped against the wall, relieved.

* * *

 ** _Well, that was the end of that. I spent the night at some suicide watch facility. After that, I spent another couple of weeks at some other facility. They got me to open up a bit. I didn't tell them about Bryce though. I wasn't ready for that yet. After a while, I just wanted to get back to something normal._**

Walking into the school with Clay and Tony on each side, Hannah looked around the hallways.

"Oh, this is fun," Clay said, with an awkward smile. "Ms. Bradley's having us look up famous movie quotes. I still can't believe how many people think the line goes, 'Luke, I am your father.'" Clay leaned closer. "I think you and I might have an edge."

"Sure, okay," Hannah said, vacantly, before walking towards her locker.

Clay just stood there watching her, and hung his head. Tony put a hand on his shoulder.

"She'll be okay," Tony said, giving Clay a nod. "She just needs time."

Clay looked at Tony. "I just wanna help her."

"You already are."

"Clay?"

Hearing his name, Clay looked over at Hannah.

"Look, I just wanted to say thank you again for..." Hannah paused, seeming unsure of what to say, then shrugged and gave a hint of a smile. "Just, thank you."

Clay couldn't think of anything to say. He just smiled as Hannah turned back towards her locker.

 ** _If you stopped the tape right here, you'd probably think this was a happy ending; girl saved from suicide by the boy who loves her, right?_**

 ** _Wrong._**

 ** _This wasn't the end. It was barely the beginning. And despite everything I'd been through, somehow, the worst was yet to come..._**

Hannah turned to see Justin and Jessica passing by in the hallway. Justin seemed to avert his eyes, while Jessica seemed to glare at her. Hannah looked puzzled for a moment, before heading to class. Clay watched her leave, then turned to Tony.

"Does she not know?"

Tony sighed. "If she doesn't, she's gonna find out real soon."


	2. Chapter 2: Nowhere to Go But Up

Hannah walked down the hallway, eyeing the other students suspiciously.

 _ **It was a couple of days before I noticed. I was used to feeling invisible, I was used to feeling like a target, but there was something different about this. People were actively avoiding me, like they were afraid of me. Not everyone, though. Just a select few.**_

Hannah saw Courtney talking with another student. The moment Courtney saw her, however, she shifted uncomfortably and walked away.

A few minutes later, she saw Sheri turn a corner, only to turn around and walk back the way she came.

Zach passed her in the hallway, but gave her a wide berth, scowling at her as he walked by.

 _ **Looking back, who they were should've been an obvious clue.**_

"Hey, nice ass!" one boy shouted.

Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _This_ she was used to.

She spun around to see who was saying it, only see that the boy saying it wasn't even looking at her.

Instead, his target was clutching his camera tightly, walking away from the laughing bully as quickly as possibly.

Tyler Down.

Tyler frowned as he noticed Hannah staring at him as he walked by.

"You happy now?" Tyler asked, bitterly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hannah asked, not bothering to hide her disgust at Tyler.

"It's been going on all week. You seriously gonna act like you don't know?"

Hannah just shook her head.

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Ask your boyfriend about it," he said condescendingly, before storming off.

* * *

"Hey, uhh, Helmet?"

Clay turned around from his locker and smiled at Hannah.

"Yeah, what's up? Everything okay?"

"I'm not sure," Hannah answered, shaking her head in confusion. "I just had a run in with Tyler. Some guy was harassing him in the hall, Tyler said that you knew about it. Do you know what he's talking about?"

Clay sighed and lowered his head for a moment

"I was outside Tyler's house. I took a... less than flattering picture of him and sent it to everyone. Yes, it was stupid and wrong and I probably shouldn't have done it, but I was angry about him doing that to you, and I wanted him to know how you felt."

"What were you doing outside Tyler's house?" Hannah asked, looking at Clay nervously.

Clay closed his eyes, knowing this wasn't going end well.

"Because that's where you told me to go on the tapes."

Hannah just stood there in shock as the color drained from her face.

 ** _After my parents sent me away, I'd tried to forget about the tapes. I tried to pretend I never sent them. After a while, I'd started to believe it... but now I knew the truth, and apparently, so did everyone else._**

Hannah took a step back, breathing heavily and pulling her arms around herself.

"Hannah, it's okay," Clay said reassuringly, taking a step towards Hannah and reaching out, which only caused her to step back further.

"Oh my God! Who else knows about this?" Hannah asked, trembling.

"Just Tony and the people who were on the tapes, at least up to mine."

Hannah inhaled heavily. "How the fuck did this happen?"

"I dunno. I guess they just started with Justin and got passed around from there. I only found out about them when I got them a couple of days ago. That's how I got this." Clay gestured to the bandage on his forehead, the one Hannah hadn't even noticed until just then. "I was listening to them when I fell off my bike. Hannah, nobody knew where you were, the teachers wouldn't say anything, and suddenly these tapes turn up saying you killed yourself. They probably thought you were dead."

Hannah looked around the hallway, feeling as if the walls were closing in on her.

"Look, it- it's just the people on the tapes, and from what I've seen, I don't think anyone's gonna say anything!"

Hannah took another step away from Clay.

"I can't- I can't..." she said, having trouble speaking.

"Hannah..."

"Just leave me alone, Clay!"

She turned around and ran off, disappearing into the crowd of students.

* * *

Clay had been roaming the now-empty hallways for nearly twenty minutes before he finally found her in corner of the school, sitting on the floor against the wall.

"Hannah?" Clay asked nervously.

Hannah pulled her hand from her face, which was covered in tears, and closed her eyes.

"Would you just leave me alone, Clay?"

"No, I did that once. I'm not gonna make that mistake again," Clay said, shaking his head.

"What, you think you have to keep an eye on me twenty-four-seven, or I might kill myself?" Hannah asked, frowning at Clay.

There was no good answer to that question, so Clay just leaned against the wall and sat down next to her.

"Look, I'm... I'm just gonna sit here, okay? We don't have to talk. I promise I won't say anything unless you want me to."

Hannah looked at Clay for a second, before putting her hand over face and starting to cry again.

"I just wanted to forget everything that happened," she whispered.

Clay opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, remembering his promise a moment earlier, then sighed.

"Look, Hannah," he said, gently. "If- if you wanna burn the tapes and- and never talk about this again, I'm with you. Or if you wanna release them for the world to hear, or whatever else you decide, I'm with you. But Hannah, you gotta know, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's everyone else on those tapes that should be embarrassed of the way they hurt you or let you down." Clay hesitated, swallowing nervously for a moment. "Including me."

Hannah stopped crying for a moment and looked at him. She looked like she was about to say something, but Clay continued.

"Look, I know you let me off the hook on the tapes, but I was a really shitty friend to you this past year. I mean I was an asshole about that photo that Justin took, and about your poem, and about Alex's stupid list, and... and I just stood there and didn't do anything when Montgomery said that stuff to you at the formal, and I left you at Jessica's party even though I knew I should've stayed, and after Jeff died, I accused you of making his death all about you, and you deserved better than that. And I should've just told you how I felt about you at some point with all the chances I had instead of being a such a fucking coward."

Clay's breathing started to get heavier as his eyes started to well up.

"I'm sorry, Hannah. I'm so sorry. You were wrong on the tapes. You wouldn't have ruined me, and if anything, I was the one who didn't deserve to be with someone like you."

Hannah looked at Clay, saying nothing. Clay wondered what she was thinking.

Finally, after a few moments, she started sobbing again, and leaned into him. Clay immediately pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, and struggling not to cry himself.

They stayed like that for several minutes before she pulled away and gave him a slight smile, then lowered her head, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry about that," she said, wiping away the tears.

"Don't be," he said, giving her an awkward smile. "It was probably the highlight of my week."

She couldn't help but laugh slightly at that.

"Then you really need to get out more, Helmet."

Clay looked at her for a moment.

"Do you wanna just get out of here for a while? Go somewhere?"

Hannah looked at him skeptically.

"Clay Jensen wants to skip class?"

"Well, technically, we're already doing that, but do you wanna just go somewhere? Clear your head?"

"Like where?"

Clay thought for a moment, before his entire face lit up.

"I know just the place." He took Hannah by the hands and helped her to her feet. "Trust me, it's amazing."

"What? Where?" Hannah asked as Clay led her by the hand down the hallway, before Clay suddenly stopped and spun around.

"Uh, actually, we need to get Tony for this, cause I don't have my bike, and he's kind of our ride. Plus, he's got the gear." Clay glanced down at Hannah's boots. "Also, we should probably stop by your place so you can change shoes."

Clay broke into a run again as Hannah shook her head in confusion.

"Shoes? Wait, what?"

* * *

"Oh my God!" Hannah's grip on the rock face tightened as she glanced at the ground below. "How did I let you two geniuses talk me into this?"

"It's fine!" Tony shouted, a few feet up. "If Clay can do it, anyone can."

"Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence, man," Clay said, also a few above Hannah.

"You are never gonna convince me that _Helmet_ here actually climbed a mountain," Hannah said, emphasizing Clay's nickname.

"It's a _hill_ , and he did."

"Yeah, _after_ he knocked a rock loose that hit me in the head," Clay added.

"You are never gonna let that go, are you?"

"Please!" Hannah shouted through gritted teeth. "Nobody say anything about letting go!"

"It's okay," Tony shouted, reaching the ledge and scrambling over it. "See? I'm at the top already."

"Yeah, good for you," Hannah said sarcastically, struggling to pull herself up further.

"Okay, I'm up too," Clay said, he head poking out from over the edge. "You're almost there!"

"You're doing good. You got this!" Tony said.

"Almost there. Just a few more feet," Clay added.

"Will you two shut up?" Hannah yelled, working her way up. "I'm trying to concentrate!"

Tony and Clay just smirked at each other.

After watching Hannah climb a few more feet, Clay extended his hand down the cliff towards her.

"Okay, just reach out and grab my hand," Clay said. "I'll pull you up."

Hannah looked at Clay nervously.

"I got you, Hannah," he said. "I promise I got you."

Hannah winced, then climbed up a bit more, just enough to be able to wrap her fingers about Clay's wrist as tightly as she could, while he did the same.

Clay growled with the strain and Hannah let out a shriek as he pulled her up and over the ledge. Immediately, the combined momentum caused Clay to lose his footing and land with a grunt on his back, with Hannah landing on top of him an instant later. Both of them let out a strained laugh as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Welcome to the top of the mountain, Miss Baker," Clay said with a smile.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"For the last time, it's not a mountain," he said in a monotone voice.

"No," Hannah said, never taking her eyes off of Clay's. "It is."

After a few more moments, she finally got off of Clay, giving an embarrassed laugh as she did so. Clay helped her to her feet and shrugged at Tony.

"Sorry, man," Clay said. "You heard her; mountain. Two against one."

"Whatever," Tony said, shaking his head.

Still trying to catch her breath, Hannah peered over the edge of the cliff.

"That's incredible," she said. "I can't believe I just did that!"

"Yeah, and you haven't even seen the best part yet," Clay said, grinning at her.

"And that is?" she asked.

Clay and Tony gave each other a knowing look, then turned back towards the view beyond the cliff.

"Fuck!" Tony shouted, eliciting a laugh from Clay and a confused laugh from Hannah.

"Fuuuuuck!" Clay shouted, holding even longer, clearly pleased with himself.

They both looked at Hannah unexpectedly.

Hannah lookied back at them with a nervous smile, as she stepped towards the cliff, .

 ** _At that moment, standing over the cliff with my friends, I remember feeling something I hadn't felt in a long time._**

 ** _Excitement._** ** _I was actually happy to be alive._**

"FUUUUUUUUUCK!" Hannah screamed out to the vista before her, earning laughter and applause from the two boys. Hannah turned around and gave them a playful bow.

"I told you this place was amazing," Clay said.

Hannah looked at Clay for a moment, the smile on her face seeming to grow, then grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him.

The kiss was a short one but the look the two gave each other after lasted much longer. Neither of them noticed Tony shaking his head.

"Uh, you know, if you two want a minute, maybe I should just head back to the car."

Hannah's eyes widened as she realized something. Her gaze darted back and forth between Clay and Tony.

"Oh my God, how the hell are we supposed to climb back down?"

"Oh no, it's fine. We'll just walk down the path," Clay said, gesturing towards the wide and gently sloped path behind them.

Hannah's face went slack.

"The _what_?"

* * *

Sitting in the lunch room, Hannah looked up from her tray to see Clay smiling at her from across the table.

"What?" she asked, suppressing a smile.

"Just wondering how you day is going, P.M."

"P.M.?"

"Post mountain."

Hannah couldn't help but chuckle, while Tony just sighed.

"Think I'm gonna get some more napkins," he said, getting up from his chair.

Clay and Hannah looked at Tony walking away, then back at each other.

"I swear to God, I'm not doing that to him on purpose," Clay said.

Hannah laughed slightly, before a serious look formed over her face.

"Hey, look, Clay, about... what you said before," Hannah said. "You weren't a shitty friend. Trust me, I've had a few who were. You were one of the few bright spots of the past year, you know? You shared the moon with me, you made me laugh, you actually made me look forward to scraping gum and the smell of burnt popcorn."

Clay gave an awkward shrug.

"Well, happy to help," he said.

Hannah just looked at him for a moment before placing her hand on one of his, resting on the table. Clay looked down at their hands, then back at her, as their fingers intertwined.

Suddenly Clay's eyes widened as he spotted something over Hannah's shoulder.

"You know what?" Clay said, nervously. "Why don't we have lunch outside? Get some fresh air?"

"Didn't we just go outside and get some fresh air?" Hannah asked, frowning.

"Well... you know, you can never have too much," Clay stammered.

"Okay, why are you being weird, all of a sudden?" Hannah asked.

"I- I'm not, I just-"

"Hey, Hannah, welcome back."

The voice behind her made her blood run cold. It was voice in the hot tub that had told her that they were just having fun, while she was pinned down.

She turned around in time to see the lustful wink Bryce gave her as he strolled through the cafeteria. She didn't notice Clay's murderous stare or Tony running up to the table. She didn't move or take her eyes off of Bryce until he was out the door.

"Hannah..." Clay started, unsure of what to say.

Hannah stood up.

"Hannah?" Tony asked, uneasily.

 _ **I was tired of feeling helpless. I had to do something, anything.**_

Hannah started walking.

"Hannah?" Tony repeated, following her.

"Hannah, what are you doing?" Clay asked, getting up and following her as well.

Hannah, either ignoring or not hearing the two boys calling her name, didn't answer. Instead, she just kept walking. Finally, she saw the person she was looking for pulling some papers out of his locker. She walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to spin around.

"Hey, Marcus," Hannah said, sounding slightly condescending. "Been a while."

"Uh, Hannah," Marcus answered, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "What do you want?"

"I dunno," Hannah said sarcastically. "Maybe a milkshake?"

"You know, Hannah," Marcus said with a frown, "I gotta say, if you're looking for attention, faking your death is a pretty fucked up way to do it."

"Oh, no, you don't understand," Hannah said, in an eerily innocent tone. "I wasn't faking my death. I was actually going to kill myself. Had the razor blades and everything. Sorry about the mix-up. I wouldn't want there to be any confusion."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Marcus asked, recoiling from her.

"What's wrong with me?" Hannah repeated, feigning confusion with a slight chuckle. "I thought I made that pretty clear on the tapes. Weren't you listening? I can go get them, if you like. Play them over the PA system. You know, I bet people would _love_ to hear what the president of the Honor Board does in his spare time."

"Will you keep your voice down?" Marcus hissed, looking panicked at the small group of students in the hallway, half-noticing the confrontation.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Hannah continued, raising her voice, slightly. "Are you worried about your reputation, Marcus? I wouldn't know about that, cause everyone knows Hannah Baker is easy, right?" She stepped closer to Marcus, glaring intently as Marcus backed against the lockers.

"Look, what do you want from me?"

"You're a smart guy, Marcus. I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Look, I'm sorry, all right?"

"Can you be a little more specific?" Hannah asked with a shrug.

"I'm sorry I said that about you!"

"How about for trying to feel me up in a booth in front of your idiot friends?"

"Yes!"

Hannah leaned closer.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me again."

"Fine!" Marcus snapped, before looking around, clearly humiliated, and hurrying down the hallway.

Hannah turned back towards Clay and Tony, both looking stunned.

"Holy shit, Hannah," Clay finally said after a moment. "That was..."

Hannah suddenly felt nervous, wondering what was going to say.

"...fucking awesome!" Clay finished, with a slight laugh.

"Yeah, I with him on that one," Tony said, nodding rapidly.

"You were like a superhero."

"Or like a new Hannah."

"Hannah Baker 2.0?" Hannah asked, shaking her head and laughing, slightly embarrassed.

"Maybe," Clay said with a shrug.

Hannah smiled at Clay, then leaned in for a quick kiss.

 _ **I remember that exact moment as the one where I started to feel good about myself again.**_

Pulling back after a moment, she looked around the hallway, when her gaze landed on the light-haired young man walking by at the end of the hallway, causing her to frown.

"Is that Ryan?" Hannah asked, before breaking into a brisk walk down the hallway, not waiting for an answer. "Hey, Ryan, wait up!"

Clay looked at Tony with an uneasy smile.

"You know, I think maybe she's gonna be okay."

Tony was already heading down the hall after Hannah.

"Yeah, save it," Tony said to Clay behind him. "I'm think Hannah's about to publicly rip my ex a new one. I ain't missing that for anything."

Clay chuckled and ran after them both.

* * *

 _ **I just wish it could've lasted longer...**_

Tyler took a deep breath as he approached the man in the brown jacket behind the restaurant.

"Are you shutterbug1337?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Tyler answered nervously.

"You're late," the man replied.

"I'm really sorry," Tyler said hurriedly. "I had a thing."

The man didn't look like he cared.

"You ready to do this?" the man asked.

Tyler pulled the roll of bills out of the pocket of his hoodie and handed it to the man, who thumbed through them.

"It's all there?" the man asked.

"Mmmhmm," Tyler answered quietly, nodding.

The man pocketed the money, looked around, and then pulled out the object, wrapped in plastic, and handed it to Tyler, who began unwrapping it.

"Jesus, not here!" the man said, annoyed.

"How do I know?" Tyler asked, looking at the man, suspiciously.

"Just hold it."

Tyler wrapped his fingers around it and felt the weight of the object. Satisfied, he stuffed it in his bag.

"That thing's got a kick, all right?" the man warned. "You gotta use the right grip."

 _ **...but I had no idea what was going to happen.**_

A smile formed over Tyler's face.

"Yeah, I'll Google that. Thanks."

The man shook his head as Tyler walked away.

 _ **No one did.**_


	3. Chapter 3: Hannah Baker 2 Point 0

Hannah walked down the school hallway with just a bit more spring in her step than she'd had in a long time, suppressing a smile as she did so.

 ** _I don't wanna say I felt like my problems were suddenly solved after that, cause, Hannah, if you're listening to this, you know that wasn't the case._**

 ** _No, my unearned reputation still came back to haunt me sometimes, improving my grades was still an uphill battle, my parents were still trying to keep the store going, and I'm sure worrying about me didn't help things._**

 ** _But I felt like maybe things were headed in the right direction, and that I might actually have a say in it._**

Stopping at her locker, Hannah looked over at the boy with his back turned to her, sorting papers in front of the locker a few feet from hers, and her smile couldn't help but grow.

 ** _But most of all, I knew, come what may, I had at least one safe harbor._**

Hannah crept up to Clay on his right side, then gave a tentative, but playful tap his left side, causing him to turn and look away from her, confused. She laughed slightly as he finally turned to her, closing his eyes in embarrassment for a moment.

Smiling, Clay reached out his hand, expecting Hannah to take it. Instead, she pulled him into a hug. Clay was taken aback at the embrace, before relaxing into it putting his own arms around her.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Everything is…manageable," she answered with a sigh.

She pulled back after a moment, though still keeping one arm around him, and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oh my God, you are gonna have the same hair until you're eighty, aren't you?" she said, with a slight laugh.

Clay ran his own fingers through his hair, and looked at her, slightly curious.

"You really think I should change it?"

Hannah's smile faded.

"No, don't change," she said, before a more wistful smile returned. "Not even a little."

She moved in for a kiss, but suddenly pulled away when she noticed Montgomery staring at them with a smirk.

"Do you really not have anything better to do, asshole?" Hannah snapped.

"Whatever," Montgomery muttered, as he frowned and walked away, shaking his head. "Fucking drama queen."

Clay glanced at Montgomery, then back at Hannah.

"Is that guy ever not a dick?" he asked.

"Forget it," Hannah said wearily, closing her eyes and touching her face.

"Hannah Baker 2.0 takes crap from no one," Clay said with an awkward smile.

"How much longer are you gonna keep calling me that?" Hannah looked at Clay skeptically, unable to totally suppress a smile.

"I'm sorry, are you actually lecturing _me_ on nicknames?"

Hannah laughed and rolled her eyes. She stared at Clay for a moment, then looking around to make sure there was no one else gawking at them, planted a quick kiss on him.

"I gotta go," she said with a hint of regret as she and Clay separated from each other. "Unfinished business."

"Anyone in particular?"

"We'll see who I run into."

Hannah gave him a playful wave, then headed off down the hall. Clay couldn't bring himself to do anything but watch and smile as she walked away.

"So, have you told her yet?"

Startled, Clay spun around to see Tony looking at him, arms folded.

"You know that's really creepy, right?" Clay said.

"Have you told her yet?" Tony repeated.

"I'm going to, okay?"

"Jesus, Clay, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm just waiting for the right moment. I want it to be special. She's had so many moments get ruined. I don't want that to happen with this one."

"Look, man, the right moment is when you actually tell her, and telling her is what makes it special"

"I know what I'm doing, okay?"

Tony just shrugged and sighed.

"Your funeral, man."

Clay rolled his eyes as Tony walked away. Clay turned back to his locker, for a moment, then sensed someone standing behind him. He turned about to see Justin standing in front of him, sporting an insincere smile.

"Hey, Clay," Justin said.

"What is this? 'Everybody sneak up on Clay' Day?"

"We need to talk."

"What do you want, Justin?"

"Not here," Justin grabbed Clay by the arm and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"What, Justin?" Clay asked, shrugging.

"You need to tell Hannah to back off, okay?"

"Do I?"

"Look, this whole shit about calling people out, threatening to release the tapes? It's gotta stop. You need to get your girl under control."

"Yeah, sure thing," Clay said frowning at Justin. "I'll just grab her by the hair, drag her back to my cave, and explain that to her."

"I'm serious, man. This is not gonna end well for anyone, especially Hannah."

"What are you gonna do, Justin? Kidnap her and take her on a little joy ride, like you guys did with me?"

"That's not what I meant," Justin said, shaking his head.

"Well, what did you mean? I mean, are you really that scared of her calling you out for what you did?" Clay asked. "Or for what you _didn't_ do?"

Justin glared at Clay.

"Nothing happened that night," Justin said after a moment.

"That's not what Hannah says," Clay answered. "And I got a pretty good idea who that other guy was, too. Hannah said he was your friend. We're talking about Bryce, right? I mean that's his M.O., right? What did you do, just lie and tell Jessica that nothing happened?"

"Jesus Christ, Jensen!" Justin rolled his eyes. "Look, I get that having a girlfriend is kind of a new thing for you, but she's got you so wrapped around her finger, that she's got you brainwashed. I mean, did it ever even occur to you once that she might've been making up this whole shit about planning to kill herself?"

"No, actually, it didn't, okay?" Clay said, not believing they were even having this conversation. "I was there. I saw the razor blades."

"You saw a couple of razor blades," Justin repeated with a shrug. "Big fucking whoop. You know how many girls cut themselves? Most of them don't kill themselves. Wake up, Clay! She made it up, just like she did about what happened at the party."

Clay rolled his eyes.

"Me and Jessica hooked up. That's what happened," Justin continued. "She wanted it, and we hooked up. There was no other guy, there is no other story, you hear me? So whatever Hannah thinks she saw, she lied about it on those tapes, because she's a crazy fucking drama queen who just said she was gonna kill herself for attention!"

Clay stared at Justin, shocked into silence at what Justin had just said.

"I'm sorry, man," Justin finally said after a moment, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I know she's your girl."

"And you were her first kiss," Clay said.

"So she said," Justin replied, irritably.

Again, Clay said nothing.

"Whatever happened, whatever Hannah thinks happened, how does that help Jess now?" Justin said. "What she needs, what we all need, is for this to be fucking done with."

"How can she be done with this, when she doesn't even know what it is?"

Justin signed. His patience was clearly running out.

"Look, you really care about Hannah?" Justin asked. "You gotta get her to drop this, whatever you say to do it. You gotta get her to drop it."

"Yeah, thanks for the heads up," Clay said, sarcastically.

"Are you gonna pass that on, or I have to tell Hannah myself?"

"I'll tell her," Clay said.

"Good. We're done here," Justin said with a shrug, heading for the door.

"I want my bike."

Justin stopped in his tracks, turned, and chuckled at Clay.

"Your bike? Seriously?"

"Yes, you fucking asshole, I want my bike."

"It's out back behind my building," Clay said with a shrug. "Go knock yourself out."

Clay glared at Justin as he walked out of the room.

* * *

 ** _I was still slaying my demons, one by one, and feeling pretty good about it._**

Hannah sat down across from Alex at the table he was sitting at in the cafeteria, plucked a french fry from his untouched plate, and ate it.

"Not exactly working through the menu these days, are you?" Hannah asked. Her voice was calm but her tone was cool.

Alex didn't even look at her, but simply shoved the entire tray of food away.

"No," he said, simply.

"You know why I'm here, right, Alex?"

"I heard about your run-ins with Marcus and Ryan, so, yeah, I got a pretty good idea." Alex's tone was strangely calm. He looked down at the table, only briefly glancing up to look at Hannah every few moments.

"You don't think that's fair?" Hannah asked with a shrug. "I mean, do you have any idea what that fucking list did to me?"

"Yeah, I do, and I hate it," Alex answered, still not raising his voice. "I wrote it because I was mad at Jessica, and I ended up hurting both of you. And I know about those guys talking behind your back and about Bryce grabbing you, and it ended up being another reason you tried to kill yourself. I mean, most of us thought you actually did it."

"So you listened to the tapes?"

"Yeah, I listened to them all in one night, the first time."

Hannah leaned back slightly at this.

"You listened to them more than once?" she asked.

"I listened to them twice," Alex said. "Thought maybe I dreamed the whole thing."

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us," Hannah said softly, looking down for a moment.

"Clay was the one who took forever to get through them," Alex continued. "He didn't tell anyone you were okay, though, which I guess we deserved."

"He didn't?" Hannah said, before shaking her head. "You know what? We're getting off-topic here. Do you…have anything to say for yourself?"

Alex took a breath but kept his eyes on the table.

"You were right. You were right about me. I'm a…fucking weak, pathetic loser who ruined the one good thing that I ever had because I wanted an asshole like Justin and a fucking rapist like Bryce to think I was just like them. I mean, you were my friend…and I know that if any one of us on those tapes had still been your friend, you wouldn't have done what you did. I mean I'm glad Clay stopped you, but…Jesus, Hannah, you were gonna kill yourself because of what I did. I mean saying 'I'm sorry' just seems like such a cheap, lame thing to say."

"Maybe," Hannah said, with a frown. "But it's a start."

Alex finally looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Hannah."

Hannah nodded, not sure what else to say.

 ** _I'd wanted someone on the list to apologize and actually mean it._**

Alex looked back down at the table, while Hannah stared at him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

 ** _Once I actually got that, suddenly, I just wanted to leave._**

 ** _I told myself I'd gotten what I wanted. No need to torment anyone who already felt bad…_**

"Okay," Hannah said abruptly, standing up and walking out. Alex didn't even look at her as she left.

 ** _…but, looking back, the truth is, the way he wouldn't eat, the way he probably wouldn't have cared what I said or did to him…there was just something a little too…_** **familiar _about it._**

* * *

Alex sat there for a few moments, trying to ignore the pains in his stomach, until he sensed someone standing behind him.

"Hey, uh, Alex?" Jessica asked. "Mind if we join you?"

Alex turned around to see not one, but five people there; Jessica, Marcus, Courtney, Zach, and Ryan.

Alex just shrugged, signalling the others to sit down.

"Gee, I wonder what this is about," Alex said, sarcastically.

"What did she want?" Jessica asked, nervously.

Alex looked at her.

"She just wanted me to apologize," Alex said. "It's not that big a deal. I don't know what you're all so afraid of. I mean we thought Hannah was dead. I'd say we're getting off pretty fucking easy."

"So what?" Marcus asked with a frown. "We're supposed to just trust her not to release those tapes? I mean, it was bad enough when Clay was running around, making trouble. Just because she didn't kill herself doesn't mean there's not gonna be hell to pay if they get out."

"I published a poem," Ryan said with a shrug. "I'll take my chances."

"Dude, then why are you even here?" Zach asked, looking at Ryan, confused.

"I just want to see how this plays out."

"Whatever. Look, maybe Alex is right," said Zach, putting up his hands. "Right now she's just talking to people one on one. I mean, she'd probably get in trouble if they got out too. Maybe, if we just let Hannah blow off some steam, that'll be enough. I mean, at some point, she's gotta wanna move on too, right?"

"And then what?" Marcus said, shaking his head. "We're just supposed to let her have this hanging over our heads for—what? A month? Two months? The rest of the school year? I'm on track to make valedictorian. What if she decides to release them when it hurts the most, like when college recruiters come around? Or what if she decides she wants something from one of us and tries to blackmail us with them?"

"Marcus is right," Courtney agreed, looking at Zach nervously. "And in the meantime, we're just supposed to let Hannah say whatever she wants about us, even if it's not true?"

"Really, Courtney?" Ryan asked, giving Courtney a bored look. "That's still your position? That Hannah's lying? Come out, come out, little girl."

"Shut up, Ryan!" Courtney snapped.

"But she's _not_ telling the truth," Jessica said, causing everyone to look at her. "Not about everything."

The table quickly became uncomfortably quiet. It lasted that way for a few moments, until Justin walked into the cafeteria and Jessica gestured him over.

"Did you talk to Clay?" Zach asked as Justin sat down.

"Clay's fucking useless," Justin said, bitterly. "He's just gonna do whatever Hannah wants. Guy's a fucking pussy."

"Classy," Ryan said. "No wonder you get all the girls."

"You know what?" Justin turned to Ryan. "Why don't you actually do something to try and fix our problem, instead of making smart-ass remarks all the time?"

"Guys, look," Marcus said, trying to calm them. "If Clay's not gonna do anything, we need to find a way to keep Hannah quiet."

"How do we get her do that?" Justin asked, with a shrug. "I mean, what do you threaten somebody that screwed up with?"

"Jesus Christ, do you hear yourself?" Alex said, standing up. "Hannah tried to kill herself because everyone at this table hurt her. All she wants is an apology, and you're still trying to figure out how to tear her down."

"I'm trying to protect us!" Justin said, glaring at Alex.

"Wh- from what?" Alex asked with a shrug.

"From Hannah's lies!"

"Did she lie?" Alex asked, stepping away from the table and heading towards the exit. "Cause I'm really not sure. Cause she told the truth about me."

Zach shook his head and stood up, before following Alex outside.

"Look, maybe we shouldn't all be sitting together like this in public right now," Marcus said, leaning in. "I'll think of something and get back to you."

Justin nodded and Marcus, Courtney, and a bored-looking Ryan got up and left.

"You know he's full of shit, right?" Justin asked Jessica, gesturing in the direction that Alex went. "He's a fucking liar."

"He's not a liar," Jessica said, frowning at Justin. "He can be a pain in the ass, but he's a good person. He's never lied to me."

"Well, good for him," Justin answered in a more condescending tone than he meant.

Jessica just rolled her eyes.

"Look, I gotta go talk to Coach," Jessica said. "She's on me enough as it is."

Jessica got up, leaving the frowning Justin at the table, and walked out of the cafeteria. After walking through the crowded hallways for a few minutes, she slipped into a less busy corner, pulled the water bottle from her bag, looked around and took a drink. She winced slightly but swallowed it anyway.

She could never quite get used to the taste of vodka.

* * *

Olivia Baker looked at the shelf of merchandise and frowned.

"Honey, you okay?" Andy Baker asked from behind the pharmacy counter.

"I was just thinking it's a bad sign that we're running out of 'Buy One, Get One Free' stickers," Olivia said.

"We can look at it as a bad sign, or we can consider it the world telling us we can never discount our way to Walplex prices." Andy replied with a shrug.

"Andy…" Olivia said, placing her fingers over her face. She didn't want to have this argument again.

Neither did Andy, who sighed.

"I've got more stickers back here somewhere," he said, turning and walking into the back room.

Olivia went back to organizing the shelves for a moment, before she heard the bell of the door opening. A blond woman in her forties wearing a smartly-dressed suit looked around for moment, not appearing sure of what she wanted.

"Can I help you find something?" Olivia asked, smiling politely.

The blond woman gave her a slightly awkward smile, one that seemed slightly familiar to Olivia.

"Um, hi, sorry," she said. "I was just on my way back from meeting with a client and wanted to introduce myself. I'm… Lainie Jensen. Clay's mom."

The polite smile on Olivia's face immediately broadened into a genuine one as she extended her hand.

"Hi. Olivia Baker," Olivia said, as Lainie shook her hand warmly. "It's so good to finally meet you. I wanted to thank you for… everything Clay's done for Hannah."

"I'm glad he was able to help," Lainie said, nodding. "He was really worried about her."

"Did… did he tell you what happened?" Olivia asked uneasily.

"Just that she had to go away for a while," Lainie had an idea what had happened, based on how upset Clay had been, but kept this to herself.

Despite trying not to, Olivia could feel herself going back to that day, until she noticed the concerned look on Laine's face.

"It's okay," Olivia said trying to lighten the mood. "She's—she's doing much better now. Actually, I think Clay's had a lot to do with that. He walks her to school all the time, and she's always so happy to see him or hear from him."

"Are they… together?" Lainie asked, smiling with a hint of nervousness.

"We haven't really talked about it, but…" Olivia returned a similar smile, "I think they are."

"I still haven't met Hannah, actually," Lainie said. "In fact, I'd love it if we could all get together for dinner sometime, formally introduce ourselves."

"I'd like that too," Olivia said. "Here, let me give you my number."

Lainie handed Olivia her phone. As Olivia programmed her number into it, Lainie's eyes wandered over to the small pile of cassettes on the store counter and couldn't help but chuckle.

"What is it?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just caught Clay listening to some tapes like this last week. He said they were for history class. I try not to be a helicopter parent, but I just thought it was so strange to see someone his age listening to tapes."

"It's funny you should mention that," Olivia said, frowning in thought as she handed Lainie back her phone. "Hannah took some tapes from the store a few weeks ago. I thought I heard her recording something one time."

"Actually, I couldn't make out what was on it, but it sounded like a girl's voice on the tape," Lainie added, her confusion growing.

"Do you think maybe Hannah recorded something for him?" Olivia asked, puzzled.

"Well, if she did, she must've had a lot to say," Lainie answered with a shrug. "There was a whole box of tapes, at least a half a dozen of them."

"What could she need to record on that many tapes?" Olivia asked, almost more to herself.

Before Lainie could venture a guess, her phone began to vibrate. She looked at the caller ID, then at Olivia, slightly embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry. I have to take this," Lainie said. "We'll talk again soon."

Lainie walked out of the store, speaking to the person on the other end, leaving a puzzled Olivia to pick up one of the tapes and stare at it.

 _What were you doing with those tapes, Hannah?_ She could only think.


	4. Chapter 4: The Whole Story

Hannah didn't move or say anything. She didn't even notice Clay's hands on her shoulders, pulling her back a few steps. All she could do was watch in silent shock, while the rest of the crowd of students groaned or cheered.

 _ **We like to think that we know the people around us, the people we see at work and school everyday. But that's not really true.**_

Unconsciously, she reached up and grasped Clay's hand as the two of them gave each other an uneasy look.

 _ **A lot of the time, we don't even know ourselves, what we'd do in a certain situation, what we're capable of, good or bad.**_

The smaller, blond-haired boy spat out a mouthful of blood, picked himself up from the pavement and lunged at the larger boy, landing one punch before the larger boy was able to grab him in a headlock and pull him to the ground.

"Kick his ass, Monty!" one student shouted.

"Get up, Alex!" shouted another.

The shouting caused Hannah to finally glance around at the crowd watching, and she couldn't help but notice a few more familiar faces. Jessica, Courtney, Zach, Marcus, and Justin.

 _ **And when a certain situation comes up, we can be surprised b** **y** **people, even though maybe we shouldn't be.**_

Whatever energy Alex was running on finally ran out as Montgomery knelt over him and punched him again and again until a hand grasped his arm.

"Stop it!" Mr. Porter barked, pulling Montgomery away from Alex. "I said stop it!"

"All right! God!" Montgomery said, as most of the crowd groaned in disappointment.

"What the hell is going on?" Mr. Porter asked, glaring at Montgomery.

"He started it!" Montgomery replied, gesturing at Alex, still on the ground, barely moving.

"Yeah, so what are you doing?"

Montgomery paused for a moment, and couldn't help but smirk a bit.

"Finishing it?" he replied tentatively, causing a few bystanders to laugh.

Mr. Porter wasn't one of them.

"You think that's funny?" Mr. Porter asked, grabbing Montgomery by the arm and leading him away. "Yeah? Come on. Let's go."

Hannah felt Clay's hands on her shoulders squeeze a bit tighter as he looked at Mr. Porter.

"Everybody, go to class," Mr. Porter shouted to the crowd. "Show's over, go to class!"

Hannah didn't need to be asked twice, turning around and walking towards the school. Clay stood there for a second, stunned, looking at Alex, still on the ground, then up at Justin, who seemed to be glaring at him, before rushing to catch up with Hannah.

* * *

"Holy shit," Clay finally said as the two of walked through the hallways, hand in hand.

"Yeah," Hannah said, sounding a bit detached.

"I mean, what the hell was that?" Clay asked. "Since when does Alex get into fights? I mean, Monty, sure, but Alex?"

Hannah just sighed

"Alex isn't nearly as complex as he thinks he is," she said with a shrug. "In the end, he's just a typical boy."

"I'm a typical boy," Clay said, looking confused. "I don't get into fights."

"You're anything but typical, Helmet," Hannah said with a chuckle. "Trust me, I know you."

"Attention, please," Vice Principal Child's voice announced over the intercom system. "Would the members of the school Honor Board please meet in the library? Thank you."

"Something tells me this is about what happened outside," Clay said, looking up at one of the speakers, then back at Hannah. "You gonna be okay?"

"I'm sure I'll manage, honor boy," Hannah said with a smile, before raising her head slightly with a hint of exaggerated bravado. "Hannah Baker 2.0, remember?"

Clay smiled back, gave her hand a squeeze, and walked off.

Hannah's smile grew a little more wistful as she watched Clay leave, before her gaze turned to another boy passing by at the end of the hallway. She started walking quicker, trying to catch up to him.

 _ **I always felt better with Clay around, but there was something else that kept me going as well.**_

She wasn't sure if Zach noticed her following him, but it didn't matter. Hannah Baker 2.0 wasn't going to be ignored.

* * *

"Tony, hey," Clay said, walking up to the other boy. "Did you see that fight?"

"I didn't see it, but word travels fast," Tony said with a shrug. "Unfortunately, so do pictures and videos, as you know."

"Hannah and I caught the end of it," Clay said. "I still can't believe that was Alex."

"And Hannah's okay?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," Clay answered, looking a bit confused. "I mean, it's not like she was the one getting beat up."

"I mean, in general, how do you think she's doing?"

"She seems okay," Clay said. "I mean she doesn't really want to talk about it much, but she's always happy to see me, and she always feels better when she confronts someone on the tapes."

"I think we need to be careful, cause she seemed okay before and look what happened," Tony said, shaking his head. "Look if hanging out with you and confronting them helps, then I'm all for it, but those are not long-term solutions."

Clay nodded uneasily, not sure what to think.

* * *

"Hey, Zach!" Hannah shouted to Zach in the empty stairwell, causing him to stop halfway down the stairs and look at her. "You got a minute?"

"Uh, Hannah," Zach answered, looking uncomfortable. "Actually..."

"Yeah, I wasn't really asking," Hannah interrupted walking down the stairs and stopping when they were at eye level.

"Look...this... this isn't a good time," Zach said, making sure no one else was around, before turning around and heading back down the stairs.

"Why me, Zach?" Hannah asked, loud enough to rattle Zach a bit.

Zach closed his eyes, sighed, and walked back up the stairs until he was facing her.

"Wow, so I guess we're really doing this, huh?" Zach asked curtly, looking around to make sure no one else was within earshot.

"Yeah, Zach, we're doing this," Hannah said. "I mean, technically, we could've been done months ago, but you decided to throw that note away, so here we are."

"Is that you think?" Zach frowned, pulling out his wallet.

"It's not what I think, it's what happened. And you-hey, what?" Hannah said, startled as Zach pulled a small piece of paper from his wallet, grabbed Hannah's wrist and thrust it into her hand.

The one with Zach's name on it... in Hannah's handwriting.

"You mean that note?" Zach asked, glaring at her.

Hannah unfolded the note she'd written months ago and stared at it for a moment, before looking back at Zach.

"I didn't throw it away," Zach said firmly. "I don't know what you think you saw, but that's not what happened."

Hannah only looked at Zach, stunned.

"Look," he continued. "You shot me down, and I didn't take it very well, and... yeah, I stole that stuff from you. You wanna call me out for that? Fine, I'll own up to that, but Hannah Baker is not all-knowing."

Hannah shook her head, suddenly confused.

"There is a lotta shit on those tapes that didn't happen the way you said it did," Zach said. "You know, Jess said you were the one that stopped hanging out, not her. And, I mean, Jesus Christ, you thought Clay hated you? _Clay?_ The guy who worships you, the guy who'd probably take a fucking bullet for you? That Clay? The guy who keyed up my car because of me taking that stuff, and did a whole bunch of other crazy shit on your behalf while you were gone?"

Zach noticed her shocked reaction to this.

"Oh, you didn't know about that either?" Zach asked before taking a few steps down the stairs. "Guess there's a lot you don't know. Maybe you should get your facts straight first."

Zach continued to the bottom of the stairs, leaving Hannah standing there, before finally stopping halfway towards the door, turning and looking back towards her.

"I'm sorry, Hannah," he said softly. "Really, I'm sorry... but... you don't know the whole story."

Hannah could only stand there as Zach walked out the door.

 _ **That... hadn't gone quite the way I planned.**_

* * *

Hannah was a few steps from the library when she heard something she wasn't used to hearing in there.

Shouting.

"Hey," she heard Mr. Porter's voice say. "Watch the language!"

"You could've killed somebody," Marcus said, in a calmer voice. "It's our job to protect the students of this school."

"Seriously?" Alex's voice asked. " _He_ could've killed somebody? And _you're_ supposed to protect them?"

"Yes, Alex." Marcus answered. "That's what the Honor Board is for, to settle disputes between students so they don't spill out into the hallways."

"Yeah, the Honor Board," Alex scoffed, "cause you're all _so_ honorable."

Hannah stopped at the door way and leaned her head in. Alex and Montgomery were both slumped in chairs, sitting across from the table where the Honor Board sat. Among them were Marcus, Courtney, Sheri, and Clay. Standing off to the side were Mr. Porter and Ms. Child. None of them seemed to notice her.

"Alex," Mr. Porter said. "This happened off-campus, so the alternative is the police."

"Okay," Alex said with a shrug. "Great, let's make a call, then."

"No one needs to make a call," Courtney said, quickly. "There's no crime. We can deal with it here."

"So anyone can get away with anything at this school and no one gives a fuck?" Alex asked.

"Language, Alex. Please," said Ms. Child.

"We're just saying that... it was no one's fault. Okay?" Courtney said. "It just happened."

"It didn't just happen," Montgomery interjected. "I mean, maybe I was driving a little too fast, but Alex lost his shit."

"Yeah, see?" Alex replied, putting his hands up. "I lost my shit. It's my fault."

"Goddammit, hey!" Mr. Porter said, sternly. "Watch your language!"

"I'm taking some fucking responsibility," Alex replied, defensively, before turning back to the Honor Board, "since you guys can't..."

Alex trailed off as he finally noticed her in the doorway. After a moment, the others turned to see her as well. Montgomery just rolled his eyes. Marcus, Courtney, and Sheri all suddenly looked uncomfortable. Only Clay was smiling, but Hannah couldn't help but notice a bit of wistfulness to it. The swelling and bruises on Alex's face made him hard to read. Hannah deliberately tried to avoid looking at him.

"Please, don't let me interrupt," Hannah said innocently, giving a seemingly friendly wave. "I'm curious what the Honor Board has to say about responsibility."

"Hannah, do you need something?" Mr. Porter asked, stepping towards her. "Cause this is actually a private matter."

"Sorry, I won't stay," Hannah said, before looking over the students at the table and giving a less-than-sincere smile, "I just wanted to talk to one of the Honor Board members. It's also kind of a private matter."

"Well, Clay should be done shortly," Courtney said, smiling nervously.

"I didn't mean Clay," Hannah said, shaking her head.

"Well... who did you mean?" Courtney asked, dropping her smile but looking even more nervous.

"It's fine," Hannah said, widening her smile. "I'll catch up with that person a little later. We'll have a little talk." She gave Clay a genuinely friendly nod, which he returned, and walked out of the library.

The other members of the Honor Board just looked at each other.

* * *

 _ **I'd decided I wasn't above letting people sweat a bit, but I'd already talked to Marcus, and Courtney would have to wait a while. But Sheri? She wouldn't have to wait very long at all.**_

It was about two hours later, when Hannah stepped into the gym. Apart from P.E. and the occasional assembly, Hannah generally avoided it. It reminded her too much of the many jocks who'd hurt her, the cheerleaders who'd betrayed her, and one perfect dance that someone had ruined.

Not today, though.

Hannah looked around at the various students. A few kids were running laps, while some of the cheerleaders were working on their routines. She could see Jessica across the gym, apparently being reprimanded by her coach for some reason. Jessica made eye contact with Hannah for a moment, before quickly looking away. It didn't matter though. Hannah wasn't here for her.

A few feet away, Sheri raised her arms, leaned forward and did a perfect cartwheel. When she stood back up, she heard someone applauding loudly. She spun around to see Hannah walking towards her, still clapping.

"Nice one," Hannah said, with the same insincere smile she's sported earlier. "Personally, I think the one you did at Jessica's party was a bit better, but, still..."

Sheri looked around, suddenly _very_ conscious of everyone else in the gym.

"Hannah..." she started, gently.

"I think we need to talk, Sheri."

* * *

Clay had put the last of the papers in his locker when he heard the footsteps. He'd gotten a little better at hearing someone walking up behind him... or maybe just a bit more paranoid. Regardless, he turned to see Marcus and Courtney, neither of whom were smiling.

"What the hell is Hannah doing?" Marcus asked. "She's threatening us with teachers in the room now?"

"Is that why you let Alex off?" Clay asked in response. "I mean he was the one who started that fight."

"This isn't the time to be stirring shit up," Marcus said. "You've gotta get her to back off."

"So I've been told," Clay said, sounding somewhat bored.

"I heard Hannah was talking to Sheri," Courtney said quietly, leaning closer to Clay. "Do you know what would happen if people find out what happened to Jeff? Hannah knew about it and didn't tell anyone. She could get in serious trouble. Is that what you want?"

"I want her to do whatever she needs to do to get better."

" _Is_ she getting better?" Marcus asked. "Or is she just going after people on the tapes cause she doesn't know how else to get over this? I mean, is she gonna confront Mr. Porter... or Bryce?"

"I don't know," Clay said, feeling a bit uneasy.

"And what is her endgame anyway?" Courtney added. "Is she going to just confront everyone and then just move on? Is that going to be it?"

"I said I don't know," Clay repeated, a bit more defensively.

"Does Hannah even know?" Courtney asked.

Clay said nothing.

"You know, you can pretend to be the supportive boyfriend," Marcus whispered, leaning closer, "but that girl has no idea what she's doing, and I think even you know she's playing with fire."

Clay tried to stay composed for a moment, then turned away to close his locker.

"Clay, we're saying this to you as your friends," Courtney said, gently.

"Right," Clay said, giving her a skeptical look. "Like you were Hannah's friends?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Clay," Marcus said in a much cooler tone, shaking his head as Clay squeezed by them and started walking away.

"Consider me warned!" Clay said loudly, forcing a smile and shrugging as he walked away.

Courtney sighed, while Marcus just stared at Clay.

"Okay, Clay," he said quietly. "If that's the way you wanna play it."

* * *

Sitting in the driver's seat of her parents' jeep, Hannah glanced at the address on her phone, then scanned the numbers on the houses as she passed them. She didn't know the area that well. Clay was the passenger's seat, regaling her with the Honor Board's decision about the fight.

"...so Marcus ended up recommending Montgomery get suspended for three days and Alex basically got off. The weird thing is I think Alex was just as pissed about that as Monty was, like he wanted to be punished."

"Maybe he should've been," Hannah said with a shrug.

"I mean... I know what he did, but you said he sounded sorry when you talked to him," Clay said, tentatively.

"One apology doesn't make up for weeks and months of leering and groping," Hannah said, rolling her eyes. "'Best ass'," she muttered bitterly.

"I know, I know," Clay said, sounding a bit embarrassed, "but...do you think the two of you might patch things up eventually? I mean you used to be friends."

Hannah looked uncomfortable for a moment, before turning her attention back to the street.

"Can we just focus on finding this place?"

"Sorry," Clay said, taking the hint. "So... Sheri just asked you to meet her at this address?"

"More like begged me," Hannah answered, rolling her eyes. "She said she wanted to prove to me that she's not like the others. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting soft."

"And you clearly brought me along because you're afraid you might be walking into a trap?" Clay asked with a slight smirk, causing Hannah to laugh for a moment.

"No, I'm... I'm not letting her off the hook that easy," Hannah replied, turning serious. "Jeff was your friend, so I think she owes you an apology too."

"Are they helping?" Clay asked, nervously. "The apologies, I mean."

"Yeah, I think so," she said, giving him a quick smile.

"You know, you can talk to me if there's a problem, right?"

"I know," Hannah said quickly, "but it's helping... what I'm doing now, I mean"

"But... what's gonna happen after?" Clay asked, his look of concern growing.

"After what?" Hannah asked, sounding a bit dodgy.

"After everybody apologizes," Clay said. "What then?"

"Well, I..." Hannah was silent for a moment before catching the number on one blueish-green house with diamond-shaped windows on either side of the front door. "This is it."

Hannah parked the car and got out, not noticing the stunned look on Clay's face as he looked at the house.

"What the hell?" Clay whispered to himself. "No way."

Clay stared at the house as Hannah walked up to the door and knocked, the memory of the last time he'd been there rushing back to him. He'd never ran that fast or that hard before.

And only once since.

The elderly woman who answered Hannah's knock looked at her curiously.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked.

"Uh, Mrs. Cantrell?" Clay said, stepping forward. "I don't know if you remember me."

"Clay, of course," the woman said, giving him a warm smile.

Clay gestured to Hannah, who was giving him a puzzled stare.

"Uh, this is Hannah... Hannah Baker," Clay said, feeling a bit uneasy.

"Of course," Mrs. Cantrell gave Hannah the same warm smile. "Sheri said a Hannah would be dropping by."

Hannah's confusion only grew as she saw Sheri, holding a pair of crutches, helping an elderly man, obviously the woman's husband, down the stairs.

"Hey, look who's here," the woman said to her husband. "He knows Sheri. Did you know that?"

"Clay," the man said with a friendly smile and he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Hello, how are you?"

"Hi, Mr. Cantrell," Clay said. "Hey, Sheri."

"Hey, Clay... Hannah," Sheri said, trying to stay composed as she looked at them, before turning back to Mr. Cantrell and handing him his crutches. "Sorry, let me help you to your chair."

"I can do it, I can do it," Mr. Cantrell said.

"I just love that you know each other," Mrs. Cantrell said, opening the door for both teens. "Come on in."

"Always trying to help people, right, Sheri?" Hannah asked, giving Sheri a cool look as they walked in, which Sheri tried to avoid.

"She's our little angel," Mrs. Cantrell said, beaming proudly at Sheri, before turning back to Hannah and Clay. "What a small world!"

"It really is," Hannah said, glancing at Clay suspiciously.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Hannah and Clay found themselves walking up the street, along with Sheri and the Cantrells' dog. Clay was stepping through the grass to make room for the two girls.

"The first time I came here, I tried to tell them," Sheri said, softly. "I stood on the front porch, and I just... I couldn't get a word out. I remember Mrs. Cantrell saying 'well don't just stand there, come in'." she said, mimicking Mrs. Cantrell's voice. "The next time I stopped by, they invited me to stay for dinner. The next time after that, I just helped hang some pictures, and now I just spend time with them, help around the house."

"You are their little angel," Hannah said. "Just like you were mine."

Sheri lowered her head.

"They don't know, do they?" Hannah asked. "About what happened that night?"

"What good would that do?" Sheri asked. "Mrs. Cantrell says he still has nightmares about it."

"What about Jeff's family?" Hannah turned to Clay. "You wanna weigh in here, Clay?"

Clay had been looking anywhere but at the two of them for the entire walk, feeling like a third wheel. Now, suddenly, the spotlight was on him, making him feel even more awkward.

"Look, Sheri," Clay said, clearly uncomfortable. "I... I'm not like you. I don't have a lot of friends. I lost one of them that night and I almost lost another one because of it."

"What do you want me to say, Clay?" Sheri asked, her eyes welling up.

"I want you to tell Jeff's parents."

"I will," Sheri said quickly. "Someday."

"You have to tell them now," Clay said, shaking his head. "Like today."

"Why today?"

"Because every day hurts, Sheri," Clay said, looking at Hannah for a moment, before looking back at Sheri. "The not knowing? It hurts. They need to know the truth."

"Clay..."

Before Sheri could say something, Clay looked down at his shoes, lifted his right foot and inspected the sole of his shoe.

"Oh, dammit," Clay groaned. "Just go on ahead. I'll find something to clean this off with."

The two girls watched as Clay walked back several feet and started scraping his shoe against the edge of the curb. Hannah, still walking, couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

"Classic Helmet," she said softly.

"So... you and Clay, huh?" Sheri asked, tentatively.

Hannah looked at Sheri, then back at Clay. They'd spent most of their time together and kissed a couple of times since she got back, but this was the first time someone had really asked about them being more than friends.

They were a couple... weren't they?

"Yeah," Hannah finally said, turning back to Sheri. "Me and Clay."

"That's nice," Sheri said, giving a shy smile. "I saw you two together at school and the Crestmont a few times. I always thought you'd make a cute couple. I'm happy for you."

"Well, he's a hell of a lot better than Justin," Hannah said, shooting Sheri a look, "or Marcus."

Sheri lowered her head.

"And you know he's right about talking to Jeff's parents today, right?"

"I'm sorry, Hannah," Sheri said, shaking her head. "I can't; not yet."

Hannah stopped and leaned closer to Sheri.

"I'm gonna go see them today," Hannah said, softly but firmly. "It's up to you whether or not you're there too."

"Why are you doing this, Hannah?" Sheri said, giving Hannah a pained look. "This is my secret."

Hannah just looked at her for a moment.

"Because it's my secret too, and I tried to live with it before... and I couldn't."

The two girls each exchanged a sad look before Hannah turned around and walked back towards Clay.

* * *

Justin frowned as he heard the knock at the door. This wasn't a good time for visitors, but he couldn't exactly tell her no.

"Hi," Jessica said.

"Hey," Justin replied, gesturing for her to enter the messy apartment. "Just be quiet, cause my mom's going through one of her things."

"You didn't answer your phone or my texts," Jessica said, clearly annoyed.

"I know," Justin answered quickly, "cause my mom."

"I needed to see you."

"Okay," Justin whispered, "just be quiet."

"We need to talk."

"Okay," he said, impatiently, as they walked to his room. Justin shut the door behind them.

"Just be quiet, all right?" he repeated, sitting down.

"Okay," she replied, sitting on the bed, sounding impatient herself.

"What's going on?"

"I was just... I looked for you after practice," she said, hiding how worried she was.

"Yeah, my mom needed me," Justin replied, clearly not noticing this. "She broke up with her boyfriend. She's all fucked up."

"They let Alex off."

Justin just shrugged. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say.

"Things are getting messed up," Jessica continued. "That fight? Some scary shit."

"It's Hannah and her fucking tapes," Justin said, bitterly.

"Cause... she made it all up?"

"Yeah," Justin said insistently.

"I just... why would she do that?"

"Cause she's fucked in the head," Justin said, putting his hands up but trying not to raise his voice. "I mean her parents sent her away, for God's sake. And Clay's a love-struck idiot who'll do anything she says."

"And what about Tony?" she asked, still needing some reassurance.

"I dunno. Maybe he's fucked in the head too. Who knows? Look, Marcus says he's gonna get Hannah and Clay to back off."

"How?" Jessica asked, feeling a pang of concern. "He's not gonna do anything to hurt them, is he?"

"It'll be fine, all right? Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I just wanted to see you."

Justin just sighed and leaned his head back. Jessica looked at him, biting her lip and giving him a coy smile.

"Hey," she said. "Can I stay here for a while?"

Justin frowned.

"No, you know how my mom gets when she's like this."

"I know," she said sympathetically, before her coy smile returned, as she took off her jacket. "I'll make it worth your while, hmmm?"

She leaned over and started kissing him.

"Jess..." he said.

"Relax," she whispered.

"Come on, Jess,"

"Relax," she repeated, loosening his belt unbuttoning his pants.

"Jess," Justin repeated, clearly uncomfortable.

"Relax; it's fine," Jessica said, starting to move more urgently as she struggled with his pants.

"Jess, what the fuck is going on with you? Come on, come on, stop!" he said, shoving her off with more force than he meant to.

"What the fuck, Justin?" she yelled, looking up at him from the floor.

"I told you, my mom-"

"Your mom, what? Huh?" she asked, clearly upset. "It never stopped you before."

Jessica glared at him as she got to her feet and grabbed her jacket and bag. Justin didn't look at her.

"You're a real fucking prick," she said, storming out.

"Yeah, whatever."

Jessica closed the door behind her, pulled a bottle from her bag, and threw back a mouthful of vodka, before storming out.

* * *

Sitting at the table, Hannah looked around the Atkins' house.

 ** _The thing I remember most about that house were the pictures. Jeff's parents were obviously so proud of him. He was one of the stars of the school, but he still tried to help someone like Clay that most people wouldn't even notice. It made me wish I'd gotten to know him better._**

 ** _Sheri hadn't shown. Well... that was fine. She had her chance.  
_**

She looked down at her hand and saw that Clay was holding it in his own. She hadn't even noticed.

Jeff's mother had given the two a warm greeting when they arrived, yet Hannah couldn't help but notice a tiredness on her face. Jeff's father seemed decidedly cooler to them, but that didn't bother Hannah. She'd be lucky if all they got was a cold reception after she'd said what she said.

"Clay, we're just so glad to finally meet you," Mrs. Atkins said, pulling glasses out of the cupboard. "Jeff was so fond of you, and you helped him so much with his grades."

"Yeah, it kept him playing ball, as a matter of fact," Mr. Atkins added.

"Well, he did that himself," Clay said, lowering his head. "I just, um... helped him with punctuation and word choice and stuff like that. You know, research techniques and..." Clay trailed off.

Hannah smiled at Clay's modesty.

"Well, we sure are grateful," Mrs. Atkins said, handing each teen a glass of water and joining them at the table. "You were a good friend to him."

"How come we haven't met you before, if you're such a good friend?" Mr. Atkins asked.

"Harris," Mrs. Atkins said, softly admonishing her husband.

"No, it's okay," Clay said, shaking his head.

Clay looked at Hannah, who gave him a supportive smile, before turning back to the older couple.

"Jeff and I..." Clay started. "We were just school friends, I guess. But he was older than me and on the baseball team and everything, and I wasn't really anybody."

Hannah instinctively squeezed Clay's hand at this.

"Actually, he did sort of help me a bit," Clay added. "I was... never very good at talking to girls. He knew I liked Hannah, and when she showed up at this party, I was so nervous, I almost left, but he wouldn't let me leave until I went up and... and talked to her."

"I... I didn't know that," Hannah said softly, with a slight smile.

"Well," Mrs. Atkins said, pulling her cardigan around herself, "sounds like you were somebody to him."

 _ **And to me.**_

"Yeah... He was really nice to me," Clay said, suddenly feeling the loss.

"So, what brings the two of you here?" Mrs. Atkins finally said, breaking the silence.

"Actually, it was my idea," Hannah said, speaking up.

"Okay," Mrs. Atkins said, waiting for her to continue.

"There's something you don't know about the night of the accident," Hannah said, struggling to speak.

"What about it?" Mr. Atkins asked, leaning closer.

 _ **This was it, the moment of truth, figuratively and literally. For the past week I'd been forcing people to own up to what they'd done. Now it was my turn.**_

Hannah's breathing became heavier. She felt like an icy hand was gripping the inside of her chest.

 ** _I'd tried to tell them before. I told myself that this time would be different._**

"What is it?" Mr. Atkins repeated with a hint of impatience.

 _ **And it was. It was worse. I'd just promised them the truth about how their son died, and I couldn't deliver.  
**_

Hannah's eyes darted between the two adults, waiting for her to speak, then looked up at Jeff's smiling face in one of the pictures.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

Clay rubbed her hand, noticing her look of dread.

 ** _I froze. I couldn't say a word. It seemed to last for an eternity. I gave serious thought to getting up and running out of the house._**

 ** _The truth is, I don't know what I would've done. But someone let me off the hook... with a confession of his own._**

"I was the first person to get there," Clay said suddenly.

Hannah looked at Clay, confused.

 _ **Turns out there was actually a**_ **fourth** _ **story to tell about that night, one I hadn't known or even thought to ask about. What happened to Clay after I'd kicked him out of the room.**_

"I was walking home..." Clay said softly, "and I heard the crash."

Mr. Atkins put his hand over his wife's.

"I found Jeff," Clay continued, lowering his head. "I found him. I thought maybe I'd try CPR... something, I don't know."

Hannah just sat there in shock.

"It was me," Clay said. "I'm the one that called 9-1-1."

"So, you were at the party with him?" Mr. Atkins asked, after finding his voice again.

Hannah took a quiet breath, going back to that night.

"I was there," Clay answered. "I saw him just before he left. And I... I don't think he was drunk."

"You don't?" Mr. Atkins asked, looking at him in disbelief.

"No, he told me he wasn't, and I believed him. I mean, until..."

Hannah closed her eyes.

 _ **They'd forgotten I was even there. For once, I was grateful for feeling invisible.  
**_

"Look, it wasn't Jeff's fault," Clay said. "The stop sign on the corner... had already been knocked down earlier in the night. I don't know, the cops thought it was Jeff's fault, I guess. But it was already down." Clay, trying not to draw attention to Hannah, avoided looking at her as let out a sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"How do you... how do you know about the stop sign?" Mr. Atkins asked. "Did you... did you knock it down?"

For one terrifying second, Hannah thought Clay would say her name, or even take the blame himself.

"No... no."

"Then why are you apologizing?" Mr. Atkins asked softly, as Mrs. Atkins wiped away tears.

"I- I... I'd been angry at Jeff since he died, because he told me at the party he was sober, and I thought he lied to me and did something stupid, and I hated him for leaving that way and I was... wrong. I was wrong."

"You didn't know the whole story," Hannah finally said softly, as much to herself as to Clay, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Clay looked at her and shook his head in agreement.

 _ **In the end, my plan to come clean had gone off the rails. Lucky for me, Clay was there to save me... again, and not for the last time.**_

 _ **Maybe Sheri and I weren't so different after all.  
**_

* * *

Hannah closed the car door and stared at the house.

"Hannah Baker 2.0," she said bitterly.

"Going there was your idea," Clay said reassuringly, sitting in the passenger seat. "They got some closure because of you."

"Yeah, I'm a fucking hero," she whispered, still looking at the house.

"I'm sorry," Clay said softly.

"How do you know the Cantrells?" Hannah asked, finally looking at him.

Clay swallowed, unsure if the answer would help.

"I... I ran to their house that night," Clay finally said, "so Mrs. Cantrell would know her husband was okay."

"Of course you did," she said with a slightly cynical smile. "You're the only person who did the right thing that night... or today."

"Well, I've done my share of stupid things," Clay said, giving a facial shrug.

"Like keying Zach's car?"

"Oh, you heard about that, did you?" Clay said, looking embarrassed.

"Anything else I should know about you?" Hannah asked.

"Well, while you were away, I had Courtney take me by your house. She thought you were dead and I... may have neglected to tell her."

"Wow, that's dark," Hannah said with a hint of a smile.

"After she found out, she wouldn't talk to me for a week."

"Getting the silent treatment from Courtney Crimsen?" Hannah asked, her smile widening. "Ooh, that'll show you."

"Apparently, she did what she did because she was raised by two gay dads and she was worried what people would say if people found out she was gay too."

Hannah nodded.

"What else you got?"

"Uhhh, well... you know those bunny drawings you used to get in your bag in Mrs. Bradley's class?"

"Yeah? What do—" she stopped as she saw Clay's embarrassed smile and realized what he was saying. Her eyes welled up and she heaved a heavy sigh. She leaned over, rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped both hands around his arm.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Clay said softly. "I guess I—"

"Just keep telling me stories," Hannah said, her head still on his shoulder. "Good, bad, I wanna know everything."

"That could take a while," Clay said nervously.

"I hope so," Hannah replied.

"Uhhh, well, freshman year, my anxiety got so bad, my parents had me put on these meds," Clay rolled his eyes. "So that was fun."

"I'm sorry," Hannah said, gripping his arm tighter.

"Oh, and uhhh...speaking of being gay, I don't know if you heard the rumors going around about me that same year..."

 _ **I learned a little about myself that day, and a lot about Clay.**_

 _ **My plan to do something about one of the things that happened that night hadn't panned out. That would have to wait.**_

* * *

 _ **But maybe I could do something about one of the other mistakes I made that night.**_

Walking through the school hallways the next day, Hannah spotted Jessica in the distance.

Jessica spotted her too and immediately turned around. Hannah tried to follow her, but quickly lost her in the crowd.

Once Jessica was sure she'd given her the slip, she slumped against a locker, pulled the bottle out her bag, and took a drink, wincing as it went down.

"I'm guessing that ain't water."

Jessica turned to see Bryce approaching her with a smirk on his face.

She looked at him for a moment, then smiled and offered him the bottle.

"Why? You want some?" she asked with a slight laugh.

"Hey, I'll never turn down a drink from a hot girl," Bryce said with a shrug, taking a drink from the bottle.

 _ **I just hoped I wasn't too late.**_

Jessica looked at him for a moment, then took another drink.


	5. Chapter 5: Truth and Consequences

_Author's note: Pardon the delay on this one. It turned out to be quite a bit longer than I expected._

* * *

 ** _What does it mean to be a good friend?_**

Hannah stopped running through the school hallways for a moment, trying to figure out where she was. No one else was around.

 ** _Is it the little things?_**

After a moment, she noticed the girl standing in the center of the hallway, who was most definitely not smiling..

"Jess?" Hannah called out to her.

 ** _Or is it the fact that they know you'll be there when they need you?_**

Instead of answering, Jessica turned around and hurried away.

"Jess, wait!" Hannah yelled, running after her. Despite running faster, Hannah couldn't seem to catch up with her.

Hannah followed through the door and found herself outside. It was nighttime, and this didn't look like the outside of the school. Some outdoor lighting came on. She realized she was in someone's backyard.

She took a deep breath as she realized whose it was.

She heard Jessica's drunken laughter and finally spotted her. She was wearing a party dress and stumbling towards the hot tub. Bryce and Justin were sitting in it, both staring at her hungrily.

"Jess!" Hannah shouted. "Jess, don't go in there!"

Jessica didn't respond, but kept drunkenly wandering towards the hot tub, giggling. Hannah ran towards Jessica.

"Jess!" Hannah called to her. Not only did Jess still not answer, but Hannah was finding it harder to run, almost as if someone had tied stones to her feet.

"Come on in, Jess," Justin said with a smirk, reaching out to her from in the hot tub, while Bryce's gaze shifted from Jessica to Hannah and back again. "You're safe with me."

"No, you're not!" Hannah yelled, struggling until she reached the edge of the hot tub and grabbing Jessica by the shoulder. "Please, just let me help you!"

Hannah managed to pull Jessica away from the disappointed-looking boys. She turned Jessica around to face her and was startled at Jessica's face. Her hair was messed up, and her make-up was running, as if she'd been crying.

As if someone had made her cry.

"You can't help me," Jessica said, giving Hannah a cold look. "It's too late... for both of us."

Jessica looked down. A confused Hannah followed her gaze down to Hannah's own wrists, suddenly bleeding heavily. Hannah gasped and tried to stop the blood by covering them with her hands, to no avail. She shut her eyes and gritted her teeth.

After a moment, however, she realized there was no pain at all. She opened her eyes, lifted her head, and realized she was gripping her own bed sheets.

She laid her head back on the pillow and sighed.

* * *

Finally dressed, but still not feeling quite rested, Hannah walked into the living room to find her mother sitting at the table with a slightly awkward-looking Clay.

"Well, look who's finally up," Olivia said.

Clay gave an uneasy nod.

"Clay just got here," Olivia continued. "You two have been spending so much time together. I thought we could take a few minutes to have breakfast together and get to know Clay a bit. I can drive you both to school after."

 ** _That was_** **not _a conversation I was ready for. I couldn't risk something coming up that I couldn't explain._**

"Uhh, actually, I- I wanted to get to school early," Hannah said, quickly. "Clay was gonna help me study a bit. Just trying to get my grades up." She pulled Clay to his feet and towards the door, grabbing her jacket. "Come on, Helmet, we better hurry."

"Hannah, you haven't had breakfast yet," Olivia said, mildly annoyed.

"I've got some granola bars in my bag," Hannah said, halfway out the door. "Bye, mom."

"Uh, yeah, bye," Clay stammered as he followed her.

Olivia put her hand to her face and sighed in frustration.

* * *

"Shit, that was close," Hannah said quietly while Clay picked up his bike. "What did she ask you?"

"Just how I doing at school, how you're doing at school," Clay answered with a shrug. "Apparently, my mom stopped in at the store a couple days ago."

"That's not good," Hannah said, looking at Clay nervously. "Your mom knows about the tapes."

"She knows about _some_ tapes," Clay said, shaking his head. "Not what's on them."

"It's still too risky."

"Look, Hannah, maybe we shouldn't be keeping this from your parents anyway. They're just trying to help."

"Look, I'm dealing with this in my own way," Hannah said with a sigh. "If my parents find out, I don't know what's gonna happen, but it'll be out of my hands."

"Okay, I guess."

The two teens were silent for a few moments, before it started to get awkward.

"Hey," Hannah said, giving Clay a friendly smile. "My parents are gonna be working late at the store. You wanna come over tonight? Maybe watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Clay answered before a thoughtful look formed on his face. "Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just... we worked at a movie theater for like a year and I have no idea what your favorite movie is."

"Yeah," Hannah answered, tilting her head. "There's a reason for that."

"Why?" Clay asked with a smirk "It doesn't have sparkling vampires in it, does it?"

"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response," Hannah said with a frown.

"What is it, then?"

"You know what? I'll show you tonight," Hannah said with a smile, before poking him with her finger. "Fair warning, though; you laugh, you're going right out the window."

"I'll keep that in mind," Clay said, smiling and shaking his head.

Hannah continued smiling at him, then her eyes widened slightly, as she remembered something.

"Hey, listen," she said, "when we get to school, there's something I need your help with."

"Sure," Clay said with a shrug, "what do you need me to do?"

* * *

Standing at her open locker, Jessica threw back another mouthful of the liquid in her water bottle, fighting the urge to wince at the burning sensation.

She looked up for a moment to see Clay walking towards her with a concerned look on his face. She knew what this was about. She'd seen him approach her with that same look after he'd heard the tapes, just before Hannah had gotten back from wherever her parents had sent her.

She wasn't in the mood.

Rolling her eyes, she closed her locker and walked away.

"Jessica?" Clay called out to her.

"What do you want, Clay?" Jessica asked impatiently.

"Look, can we talk?" Clay said, following her.

"About what?" Jessica asked, already knowing the answer.

"About what happened at the party."

"I already told you. Nothing happened."

"That's not what Hannah says," Clay said, shaking his head, and continuing to follow her.

"Well, Hannah doesn't know what she's talking about, now leave me alone."

Jessica kept walking, trying to avoid Clay, darted a corner...

...and finding Hannah there, waiting for her.

Jessica looked back to see Clay catching up to them.

"What are you two?" Jessica asked in disbelief. "Like a fucking tag team?"

"Can we please just talk in there?" Hannah asked softly, gesturing to an empty classroom.

Jessica rolled her eyes again and walked into the classroom.

"You gonna be okay?" Clay asked, walking up to Hannah.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she whispered, taking his hand and squeezing it. "I'll talk to you later."

Hannah watched Clay leave, then walked into the classroom and looked at Jessica.

"Is this where you tell me off, like everyone else?" Jessica asked with a shrug. "Fine, let's just get this over with."

"You know that's not what this is about," Hannah said, giving Jessica a sad look. "I just wanna help. I thought... maybe we could help each other."

"I don't need help!" Jessica hissed. "Nothing happened that night. I hooked up with Justin. That's it."

"That's not it," Hannah said, stepping closer. "I wish it was, but it's not. I was there. I saw everything."

"Yeah," Jessica replied, skeptically. "Like you saw Zach throw away that note?"

"That's not what happened here," Hannah said, shaking her head. "You were drunk and passed out."

"Look," Jessica said, clearly getting angry, "I don't know what you think you saw, but I hooked up with my boyfriend. That's it!"

"Because that's what Justin told you?" Hannah asked, sounding skeptical herself.

"Because that's what happened!" Jessica answered, growing even more defensive. "I don't know if this is some kind of payback, but you need to let it go."

"Do you seriously think I would make this up?" Hannah asked, looking at her in disbelief.

"I don't know," Jessica said, shaking her head. "I thought I knew you. Clearly, I don't."

Jessica started to walk away, but Hannah stepped in her path.

"I never lied to you, not about Alex, and not about this," Hannah said, softly, as her eyes welled up. "He did it to me too."

Jessica leaned closer and gave Hannah a cold look.

"Nothing...happened. Now leave me alone."

Jessica stepped by Hannah and stormed out of the classroom. Hannah just stood there watching.

* * *

Heading into the stairwell towards her next class, Hannah actually found herself in a rare moment of thinking of her school work, instead of the people on the tapes.

It didn't last.

"Hannah!"

Hannah's smile turned to a frown as she recognized the voice. She looked up to see Justin Foley walking down the stairs towards her, scowling at her himself as he did.

Hannah was in no mood to have a confrontation with Justin at that moment. She may have owed him one, but she would be the one to choose the time and place, not him.

"It's not enough to fuck up your own life, you gotta do the same to everybody else's too?" Justin asked, ignoring Hannah's cold stare. "Look, we listened to your tapes, you made your point, now shut it down."

Hannah couldn't help but let out a cynical-sounding laugh at Justin's remark.

"'Shut it down', huh?" she asked.

"You know what? We're not playing your fucking mind games anymore. Now back off, and stay the fuck away from my girlfriend."

"Seriously?" Hannah asked, looking at Justin in disbelief. " _I'm_ the one you'll actually protect her from?"

"Yeah, from you and your bullshit stories. I'm not gonna let you ruin Jessica's life just so you can feel better about your own."

"You can keep telling yourself that," Hannah said, stepping closer, "maybe even get Jessica to believe you, but I know what happened. I saw what he did to her, and I saw that you let him do it, and I'm not gonna pretend it didn't happen."

Justin glared at her for a moment.

"How much you have to drink that night?" he asked.

Hannah slapped him.

She looked down at the palm of her hand, surprised at how much it stung.

 ** _I'd never hit anyone before in my life. I guess that's another first I can thank Justin Foley for._**

She looked back up at Justin for a moment, his face turning slightly red from both anger and the slap. She recoiled slightly, afraid for just a moment that he would hit her back, but he just stared.

"Crazy fucking Hannah," Justin finally said, with a dull-sounding menace to his voice. "Makes up a bunch of stories to get back at everyone she doesn't like, makes up a story about killing herself, and now this? This shit ends now, got it?"

"You can't do anything to me that hasn't already been done," Hannah said with a sarcastic-looking smile.

"We'll see about that."

Hannah continued glaring at Justin as he walked away.

 ** _I thought Justin was all talk. I was wrong._**

* * *

Jessica took a quick glance around the girls' locker room, then poured the vodka into her water bottle.

"Hey," Courtney said gently, sitting on the bench behind her. "Is everything okay?"

"Hannah and Clay cornered me this morning," Jessica said, bitterly.

"Trying to punish everyone isn't going to help," Courtney said, shaking her head. "I wish she'd see that."

"It's wasn't that. She wanted to talk to me about the party. All that bullshit she said on the tapes. She was still going on about it, and of course Clay believes it. She said she wants to help me." Jessica gave a nervous and bitter chuckle.

"So trying to convince Clay to make her stop didn't work," Courtney said, glumly.

"Apparently not," Jessica said, pausing for a moment. "If Hannah had seen something that night, she would've told me before, right?"

"I mean, we both know she made all that stuff up," Courtney said with a shrug.

"Did she?" Jessica asked, feeling uneasy. "Because that photo of her on the slide with Justin was real, the 'Hot or Not' list was real, so... maybe the rest was too."

"Jessica," Courtney said, giving her a supportive smile that seemed a bit too forced, "Justin is your boyfriend. Who are you going to believe, him or... a girl who's jealous because you're dating her ex?"

Jessica didn't answer. Of course nothing happened. She was with Justin that night. Nothing else happened.

All she needed to do was keep reminding herself of that.

* * *

Mr. Bolan couldn't entirely conceal his surprise when he exited his office and saw Olivia Baker sitting there, waiting for him.

"Mrs. Baker?" he said, walking over and extending a hand. "Hi, I wasn't expecting you."

"Olivia, please," she said, smiling politely, as she stood up to shake his hand.

"Yeah, well, come on in," Mr. Bolan said, gesturing to the principal's office.

"Thank you for making... the time," Olivia said, with a hint of nervousness, as she walked in and sat down, "I, uh.., I know how busy you are."

"No, not at all," Mr. Bolan replied, sitting at his desk. "I just wanted you to know that everyone here is concerned with Hannah's well-being, and, of course, if there's anything we can do the help..."

"Well, I was... um... I wonder if you could tell me something about Hannah's school life. Has she been unhappy... here?"

"Well..." Mr. Bolan began, looking uncomfortable, "I don't think I can answer that."

"I know you can't possibly know every student, but my husband and I, we're still trying to understand... how she got to this point."

"I understand," Mr. Bolan said calmly.

"Do you?" Olivia said, with more of an edge than she meant, before closing her eyes and putting up her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine," Mr. Bolan replied with a patient smile.

"It's just..." Olivia paused, then took a deep breath, as if summoning the strength to say something. "Mr. Bolan, my daughter tried to kill herself."

Mr. Bolan let out a resigned sigh, feeling at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just blurt that out," Olivia said with a weary sigh. "It's just that... we tell everyone that we sent Hannah away to get well, and I'm sure everyone speculates, but you're one of the few people who actually knows, and I just needed to say it to someone, someone who might be in a position to help her, so that person knows what we're up against."

"Of course, of course," Mr. Bolan said, leaning closer. "Has Hannah being talking with anyone, a professional, I mean?"

"We've had her talking to a therapist every few days," Olivia said, causing her to give a frown that Mr. Bolan couldn't help but notice. "But she's not really opening up to anyone, as far as I know. She spends most of her free time with a couple of friends from school, Clay Jensen and Tony Padilla."

"Yeah, I know them. They're good kids," Mr. Bolan said with a nod.

"Yes, but they're still _kids_ , They don't know the first thing about..." Olivia trailed off.

"Yes, of course, and we encourage Hannah to speak to the guidance counselor Mr. Porter, or any teacher," Mr. Bolan shifted in his chair. "Beyond that, I'm... not really sure what you're asking of us."

Olivia looked at Mr. Bolan intently.

"Mr. Bolan, I need to know how this happened. I need to know if it's still happening."

"I understand," Mr. Bolan said with a nod, "and you can be certain there's nothing more important to us than the safety and well-being of the students."

"Huh," Olivia said, thoughtfully, looking away for a moment, then back at Mr. Bolan. "Then why did we get to this point in the first place?"

* * *

In the school washroom, Olivia took a deep breath, struggling not to cry. She managed to compose herself just as two younger girls walked in.

"Bryce is a total vampire," the first girl said, eliciting a laugh from the second.

"That thing on your neck is huge," the second girl said.

"Oh, I know, right?" the first replied, examining it in the mirror.

Olivia quickly ducked into a stall, staying quiet until the girls left. Struggling to keep herself together, she looked up... and finally noticed the vulgar notes written all over the wall.

Olivia pulled out her phone and started taking pictures, as many as she could, then called someone.

"Andy?" she said. "Yeah, I'm at Hannah's school. Do you still have that lawyer's number? Good. I think we should see him. There's something here I want to show him."

Sitting in the next stall, trying not to make a sound, Courtney Crimsen inhaled sharply, as her eyes widened.

* * *

Leaning against the backstage wall in the drama room, Jessica continued pressing her lips to Justin's. Their only light source was from a bright bulb from a tall ghost light, a few feet away.

"I missed you," Justin whispered. "I'm sorry, with all this shit going on..."

"Can we just not talk about her, please?" Jessica asked.

"Right, sorry."

The two kissed some more.

"Wait," Justin said, managing to push her away for a minute, "what about drama?"

"No more drama," Jessica said confidently. "All good"

"No," said Justin, laughing at the misunderstanding. "Drama _class_."

"You're thinking about drama class right now?" Jessica asks, looking at him in disbelief.

"I mean, if they walk in here during next period, it's gonna be kinda awkward, no?"

"We'll just tell them we're rehearsing a love scene," Jessica said with a seductive look. "They're theater nerds. It would help them to know what actual sex looks like."

Jessica leaned in again for a moment, until Justin swore he heard a footstep out front, and managed to push her off again.

"All right, we should...we should go," he said. "We should go. I should at least show my face in class."

"You're just scared that we'll be caught."

"No," he said.

"Yeah," she said, smugly. "Yeah, you are." She looked around the room. "But if they can't see us, then we can't be caught. Come on," she continued, giving him a playful kiss, before walking over to the light. Justin quickly followed.

"Where's the fucking switch?" he asked, frowning at the light.

Jessica didn't look. Instead, she walked away, picked up a can of screws and began throwing them at the light.

"Here's the switch," she said, laughing.

"Hey, Jess, what the fuck?" Justin said, startled.

"Wait, wait, come here," she said, giggling, and continuing to throw screws, "let's see who can break it first."

"Like break the light bulb?" Justin asked, walking towards her, confused. "What are you, six?"

"It's just a stupid light bulb!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked, looking at her.

"When did you become such a pussy?" she asked, a bit irritated, and continuing to throw screws.

"Hey, hey, why are you acting so crazy?" he asked, beginning to sound bit irritated himself.

"Why aren't you?" she retorted, beginning to throw things at him instead.

"Jess, cut it the fuck out."

She didn't.

"Throw it back," she said.

"Jess, stop!"

"Throw it back," she repeated, continuing to throw screws at him.

"Jess, what the hell?" he asked, raising his voice. "What is happening with you?"

"Nothing!" she yelled. "Nothing's happening, right?"

Jessica threw one more screw at him. Justin just stood there and frowned.

"Fuck this," he finally said, turning to leave. "I'm out."

"Bye!" she yelled, sarcastically to him, as he kept walking towards the front exit.

Justin returned a sarcastic wave of his own, as he grabbed his bag and continued walking away.

Jessica let out a short shriek of frustration between her teeth, threw the can of screws to the floor, walked over to the light and shoved it over, finally causing it to break.

"Shit," she whispered, closing her eyes, and putting her hands to her head.

* * *

Sitting in the bleachers in the otherwise-empty gym an hour later, Courtney and Marcus looked over to see Justin storm in and sit down next to them, then slamming his palm down on the seat in frustration.

"Fucking Hannah," Justin spat, "fucking, fucking Hannah! She's not gonna stop."

"It's worse than you think," Courtney said, looking at Justin nervously. "Hannah's mom was here. I overheard her on the phone in the washroom saying they should get a lawyer. If they up suing the school and the tapes get out, we could be deposed, or..." Courtney shook her head and tried to compose herself. "We need to do something. Today."

"Hey."

Justin, Courtney, and Marcus looked up to see Tyler Down walking tentatively towards them.

"Are you guys talking about Hannah and Clay?"

The other three looked at each other but said nothing.

"I know this isn't about some class project, cause you two are you in communications," Tyler said, gesturing to Justin and Courtney, "and neither of you are in any classes with Marcus at the moment."

"Okay, it is really weird that you know that," Justin said, with a frown.

"Look, if you're trying to stop Hannah and Clay, I want in," said Tyler.

"Do you seriously think we'd tell you if we were?" Courtney asked, looking at Tyler coolly.

Tyler looked around at the unwelcome looks he was getting from the three of them and scowled back at them.

"This isn't fair. I'm the only one they've come after. That picture Clay took is still being passed around."

"Your picture's being passed around, huh?" Courtney asked, with more than a hint of condescension. "I can't imagine what that's like."

"Seriously?" Tyler asked. "Justin took a picture. I don't see you kicking him out."

Justin, already in a bad mood, stood up and took a step towards Tyler.

"You know what? Fuck off, you little freak!"

"Tyler, I think maybe you should just go," Marcus said, calmly.

Tyler stared angrily at the three for a moment, then turned and walked out of the gym, glancing back to glare at them as he did.

"Anyway, about Hannah," Marcus said, "I told you I had an idea, and I can make it happen today. I'm gonna go meet up with Bryce."

"Bryce?" Courtney asked, a bit confused. "What do you need Bryce for? What are you planning?"

"It's probably best if I keep that to myself for now," Marcus said, standing up and giving a confident smile, "but don't worry. You'll know it when you see it."

* * *

Clay sighed and looked around the classroom, the walls, the other students, the floor, anything but the teacher speaking. Staying focused on the lesson had never been a problem for him before, not even when the gay rumors had been circling.

His wandering attention didn't escape the notice of the girl sitting next to him with several tattoos and piercings, dressed in loose-fitting black clothes.

"Since when does Clay Jensen not play attention in class?" Skye Miller asked softly.

"What?" Clay asked, looking at her suddenly, her question jolting him out of his fog.

"She's really got you under a spell, huh?" Skye whispered, with a more than slightly condescending tone.

Clay looked puzzled for a moment, before rolling his eyes and frowning.

"What? I'm just worried about her. That's all."

"And what is there to be worried about?" Skye asked, with a slight smirk.

"Are you asking out of concern?" Clay lowered his head, but kept his eyes on Skye, "Cause it doesn't sound like it."

"No, I'm happy for you," Skye said with a shrug. "You were pining over her for, like, a year, and now you finally got the girl. Just like in one of those old movies they play at the Crestmont, right?"

"What do you have against Hannah, huh?" Clay asked, shaking his head. "Look, I... I know we don't really hang out anymore, but, you know, if you got to know her, you'd probably think she was really cool."

"And you only hang out with cool people," Skye replied, sounding slightly bitter.

Clay winced slightly at this.

"That's not I meant," he whispered. "I'm just saying, you'd probably like her. I mean, have you ever tried just talking to her?"

"Has she ever tried talking to me?"

Clay looked back down at his desk. This conversation wasn't going anywhere.

The two were silent for a moment, the Skye leaned closer.

"Was she the reason you were keying that goon's car that night?"

"You said you liked me doing that," Clay said, looking at her.

"Yeah, if you're doing it for the right reasons," Skye said with another shrug. "Look, I don't need to know why she went away. Just be careful, Clay."

Clay smiled slightly.

"I'll be fine."

Before Skye could respond, they turned towards the loud squeaking sound of the door opening. Mr. Porter, Ms. Childs, and a security guard walked in, and Clay could swear Mr. Porter had looked right at him.

Skye immediately pulled something out of her bag, then sat on it.

"What are you doing?" Clay asked.

"Hiding my contraband," Skye whispered. "They're doing a bag check, obviously."

Clay looked back at Mr. Porter. He was definitely looking at him this time.

"What for?" Clay asked, turning back to Skye.

"I don't know," Skye said, shaking her head, but looking somewhat bored, "drugs, guns, kiddy porn."

"Okay, people," the teacher announced to the class, "Vice Principal Childs needs to check everyone's backpacks. Please stay seated, hands on your desks. You can all study the quotation and think about what it might mean."

Clay had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Again, Skye noticed.

"Relax," she said, looking almost amused. "I don't think you have what they're looking for."

Ms. Childs and the security guard walked over to the back corner of the class, where Skye was sitting. The security guard picked up her bag, opened in, and began sorting through it.

"You know this is, like, a complete violation of our civil rights," Skye said to the security guard, who didn't respond. "Do you even have a warrant?" she asked Ms. Childs.

"We don't need a warrant on school property," Ms. Childs responded, firmly. "It's for everyone's safety."

Skye just rolled her eyes, then noticed the security guard had stopped at a deck of cards.

"They're tarot cards," Skye said, sarcastically. "Do you want me to read your fortune?"

The security guard put the cards down and stepped over to Clay's desk.

"Okay, Mr. Jensen," Ms. Childs said, sounding a bit irritable. "Do you want to protest your civil rights as well?"

Clay said nothing. Something was very wrong.

The security guard dug through Clay's backpack, pulling out the walkman he hadn't gotten around to giving back to Tony...

...and a bag of weed.

"Here it is," the security guard said, as Clay's eyes widened.

 _'Here it is'?_ Clay thought. _They were expecting this?_

The rest of the class stared in disbelief. A few of them smiled in amusement.

"That's not mine," Clay protested, finally finding the words.

"I'm gonna need you to come down to the office with me, Clay," Ms. Childs said, with a hint of resignation. "We can talk there, okay?"

"But that's not mine!" Clay repeated, as the guard gathered Clay's belongings.

* * *

Hannah kept her head down, while washing her hands at the sink, not looking at the stalls in the mirror. She knew about the disgusting things written all over the insides, but she still didn't need to be reminded.

"Hey."

Hannah looked up at the mirror and saw the reflection the girl who'd just spoken, standing in the doorway, looking at her, arms folded, not smiling.

"You know where Clay is right now?" Skye asked, with a slightly condescending tone, as Hannah turned around and gave her a puzzled look, "I do."

* * *

Hannah rushed into the office to find Clay slumped into a chair in the waiting area.

"Clay?" she said.

Clay immediately stood up and rushed over to take her extended hands.

"What happened?" Hannah asked. "Skye said they found some weed in your bag?"

"It wasn't mine," Clay said adamantly, sounding a bit confused. "Somebody must've planted it."

"Who would—" Hannah's puzzled look quickly gave way to one of anger as she figured out the answer to her own question.

"Look, Justin and the others, they're trying to send a message," Clay said, squeezing her hands. "Hannah, don't let them stop you, all right?"

"What about you?" Hannah asked nervously.

"I got a three day suspension and I gotta take some drug deferral program," Clay answered, looking down and sighing before looking back up at her. "It doesn't matter. Just keep doing whatever you need to do. I don't care."

 ** _Unfortunately, I did._**

Hannah was about to say something, when she heard someone step out of one of the offices.

"Miss Baker," Mr. Porter said sternly, "is there something you need?"

Hannah just looked at him uneasily, but said nothing.

"Well, Clay's mom should be here in a few minutes to pick him up," Mr. Porter continued. "So if there's nothing you need, I suggest you get back to class."

"It's okay," Clay whispered, pulling her into hug, which Hannah returned fiercely. "We'll watch that movie tonight."

When they pulled apart, Hannah struggled not to cry, despite Clay's reassuring nod. After looking at each other for another longing moment, she finally let go of his hands and walked out.

There wasn't much she could do... at least until lunch.

* * *

Bryce gave a nod to the young man in the hat and trench coat who exited Bryce's car. Bryce leaned into inspect what he'd just bought. He liked the stuff from his regular dealer better, but this would do in a pinch. Maybe he'd just try a little now...

Before he got the chance, however, a tapping on his window jolted him upright.

"Jesus!" the startled Bryce said to Jessica, standing outside the passenger side of his car, laughing and gesturing for him to let her in. "Fuck! Jess!"

"The fuck?" Jessica said, still smiling as Bryce opened the door, and Jessica got in.

"You can't sneak up on a guy like that," Bryce said.

"I didn't know that kid was a dealer," Jessica said, gesturing towards the trench coated teen who'd just left.

"Yeah, as a sideline," Bryce said. "My usual guy does house calls, but I gave my last bag to Marcus yesterday."

"So is that bag for now or later?" Jessica said, smiling.

Bryce looked at her and smirked, not believing what he was hearing.

"Shit," he said, as Jessica laughed, "so you're a stoner now too? What is it with the best and the brightest?"

"Are you looking to have some fun or what?" Jessica asked.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Bryce asked, smiling, but a bit confused.

"I dunno. Practice, probably." Jessica answered with a shrug. "We can meet up with him after. Let's just blow off school for the day."

"Well, why aren't you at practice?"

"I'm still benched," she answered with a bit of irritation.

"Seriously? That's fucked up."

"This school is fucked up," Jessica said, shaking her head.

"Don't disagree," Bryce replied with a chuckle.

"So, are we gonna smoke or what?"

"In the parking lot?" Bryce asked, not believing what he was hearing. "Are you insane?"

"Maybe a little," Jessica answered, giving him a smile.

"We can blow off school, go back to my place. My folks won't be home for a few hours."

"Or we can go back to mine," Jessica said, still smiling at Bryce. "Mine won't be home for a couple of days."

"You're not gonna get me in trouble, are you, Jess?" he asked, coyly.

"Maybe a little," Jessica's smile widened, before she laughed a bit.

Bryce grinned back and started the car. For a brief moment he wondered what Justin would think about them hanging out without him, but he quickly dismissed that thought. They were bros. What was his was Justin's and what was Justin's was his.

Justin understood that.

* * *

Sitting at the lunch table with Marcus and Courtney, Justin stared at his phone and frowned. Yes, they'd had a fight, but Jessica had never gone without answering one of his texts this long.

Marcus tapped Justin's wrist to get his attention, and gestured with his head towards Hannah, approaching them from the other end of the lunch room.

"You fucking asshole," Hannah hissed at Justin when she reached the table. "What, you can't get to me, so you go after Clay? Ruin his life?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Justin said with a slightly exaggerated shrug.

"We heard about Clay," Marcus said in a concerned tone that was too rehearsed to be real. "It's a real shame. That goes on his permanent record. I just hope he's learned his lesson, and we can all move on," Marcus leaned forward and glared at Hannah, "so that something like this doesn't happen again."

"You think he's learned his lesson, Hannah?" Justin asked. "Can we all move on?"

Hannah stared at Justin, Marcus, and Courtney, who all started back at her intently.

 ** _Clay called me a super hero once. And just like a super hero, my enemies were teaming up and threatening the people I cared about to get to me._**

 ** _I looked at the people sitting at that table. Justin, the popular jock; Marcus, the future valedictorian; Courtney, the quintessential good girl. They were the school's elite. What hope did I have against all of them?_**

The three waited impatiently until Hannah finally spoke.

"Fine," Hannah whispered.

"Fine, what?" Justin asked, with a frown.

"I made it up," Hannah said, softly. "All of it."

The three looked at each other for a moment before Hannah continued.

"I'm the... crazy, fucked-up girl who wanted attention, so I made up everything I said happened to me, and made up trying to kill myself," Hannah felt like her soul was draining as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry. I won't bother you with it again."

Justin leaned back in his chair and shrugged in approval.

"You win, Justin," Hannah said, shaking her head. "I guess guys like you always do."

Hannah turned around and started walking away, until a voice stopped her.

"What about the tapes?" Courtney asked.

Hannah turned around and met Courtney's suspicious gaze.

"What tapes?" Hannah asked softly. "Who uses tapes anymore?"

Courtney looked down in thought for a moment, then looked back at Hannah and nodded.

Hannah gave them all one last defeated look, then turned and walked away.

Courtney closed her eyes in relief. Marcus looked at her and Justin and smiled. Justin went back to staring nervously at his phone.

* * *

Jessica giggled absentmindedly as she and Bryce walked into her father's study.

"Am I high?" she asked, smiling.

"What?" Bryce asked in disbelief.

"I think I'm high," she said, still smiling.

"Jess, you had, like, two hits."

"Two is a lot," she said, as she and Bryce looked around the room.

"Well, it's more than one," Bryce replied, dryly.

Jessica stopped at a large safe, and started turning the combination lock.

"What's in the safe?" Bryce asked, walking over.

"If my dad knew I could get into this thing, he would flip his shit," she said, still laughing slightly.

Jessica finally opened the safe, revealing a small arsenal of handguns and ammunition. Bryce instinctively stepped back.

"Shit," he said.

"I know, right?" Jessica said. "Dad's packing. This one's my favorite." Jessica pulled a Glock from the door of the safe, causing Bryce to recoil even further.

"Jesus! Fuck!" he said, a bit shaken. "Jess, is that thing loaded?"

"Of course not," she said, before checking the clip. "Shit," she said, shrugging and removing it, "guess it was loaded. My bad."

Jessica snickered a bit, as Bryce looked at her uneasily. He liked his girls wild, but not _this_ wild.

"Jess, you should not be handling a gun of any kind in your current—"

"I know what I'm doing," she interrupted, pulling back the slide confidently, and stepping closer to Bryce, "This is a Glock 19, holds up to fifteen rounds, single action, perfect for self-defense."

"Cool," Bryce said, nervously, as Jessica held up the gun to him by the barrel, as if to offer it to him, "I'll...I'll take your word for it."

"What?" Jessica said, frowning and taking a step closer. "Don't you like a Glock?"

"I'm not really from a gun family, okay?" Bryce said, shaking his head. "We ski."

"Try it," Jessica said, smirking.

"I'm good," Bryce said, a bit more firmly.

"It's there a KFC around?" she asked, staring at him. "Because I smell chicken."

"Fuck you," he muttered.

Jessica presented him with the gun again, pulling back the slide again.

"Take it," she said.

"Fine," he said.

Bryce took the gun, inspected it for a second, then held it out sideways.

"Yeah," he said, "so just like—"

"Only actors in Hollywood hold it that way," Jessica said, smiling.

"Yeah," Bryce said, shrugging, trying to play it off, "right."

"Here, let me show you," Jessica said, putting her hands on his wrist. "Twist that."

"Mm-hm," Bryce replied as she turned his wrist and the gun upright.

"Take this hand," she said, pulling his other hand up to hold the gun as well. "So just relax, shoulders back, breathe in,"

Jessica and Bryce looked at each other, smiling, both a bit thrilled.

"Breathe out," she continued.

Bryce exhaled.

"Then you shoot," she said.

Bryce closed one eye, and squeezed the trigger.

The gun wasn't loaded, of course, but Bryce had to admit to himself that this felt pretty bad-ass.

He could get used to this feeling.

* * *

"Yeah, okay," Justin said into his phone, frowning. "Look, just let me know if she calls you. Thanks, Sheri."

Sitting in the driver's seat, Alex turned to Justin.

"So none of her friends know where she is?" he asked.

Justin just shrugged in frustration.

"You know what? Her phone's probably just dead," Alex said. "It happened a couple of times when we were going out."

"Yeah, I got it," Justin said impatiently, "you and Jessica used to go out."

Alex looked back at the road.

"I mean, what are we even doing?" he asked. "Driving around, hoping to run into her on the street at night? You know this is getting into stalker territory, right?"

"Just keep driving, all right?"

The two boys were silent for a few moments.

"Hey," Alex finally said, tentatively, breaking the silence, "I heard you said Hannah was just making up everything about trying to kill herself. Do you...really think that?"

"Hannah's fucked up in the head," Justin answered, clearly not comfortable with the topic. "I'm not even sure she knows what she's doing. She's just fucking with everybody's lives for attention."

"Right, attention," Alex said, dryly, "cause she didn't get enough of that from my list and your picture."

"Whatever," Justin said, irritably.

"Yeah, but I mean, if she had done that, would you not feel bad, even a bit?" Alex asked, looking at Justin nervously. "Would you miss her at all? Would you… would you care? I mean... if she did do it."

"Why the fuck would you ask something like that?" Justin asked, staring at Alex in disbelief.

"Never mind," Alex said, quietly. "Sorry."

Justin looked back out the window, shaking his head.

"Hey, actually, I thought of one other person we can ask about Jessica," Alex said, looking at Justin awkwardly. "But you're probably not gonna like it."

* * *

" _You must...you must…you must do me this honor,_ " Jack Dawson said, fighting against the cold of the freezing water as he held Rose's hand tighter. " _You must promise me that you'll survive, that you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose...and never let go of that promise._ "

" _I promise,_ " Rose choked, looking into Jack's eyes as she lay on the driftwood.

" _Never let go,_ " Jack whispered.

" _I'll never let go, Jack,_ " Rose repeated, shivering herself. " _I'll never let go._ "

Sitting on the couch, Clay turned from the TV to Hannah who was gripping his left hand with both of hers and resting her head on his shoulder. Tearjerker or not, he doubted the sad look on her face was from the movie.

"You know," he said softly, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood, "I saw this thing online a couple years ago about all the ways Jack and Rose could've fit on the raft together. I dunno. What do you think?"

Hannah said nothing for a moment, causing Clay to turn back to the TV, feeling embarrassed. Apparently, this wasn't the time for jokes.

"I hate that fucking school," Hannah finally said, her eyes still glued to the screen.

"Yeah," Clay replied. It was all he could think to say.

The two sat in silence for a few more moments before Hannah looked at Clay and shifted on the couch.

"Can you pause it?" she asked, standing up. "I just need to use the bathroom."

Clay nodded and pressed pause on the remote and watched Hannah walk out of the room, sighing as she turned a corner. He was willing to take some heat from the others if it meant Hannah did what she needed to do to get better, but couldn't see any way of getting her to agree with that.

A knock at the door jolted him out of his thoughts.

"I got it," he called to Hannah, getting up and heading for the front door, wondering who it could be.

He opened the door to see Justin Foley standing there, and resisted the urge to slam it in his scowling face.

"Seriously, Justin?" Clay asked. "What are you doing here? You here to get Hannah suspended too?"

"We're just looking for Jessica," Alex said, cautiously, stepping out from behind Justin. "She's not answering her phone. I thought maybe Hannah would know."

"Well, she doesn't," Clay answered, still frowning at Justin, "and you really need to go before Hannah sees—"

"Clay, who is it?" Hannah asked, coming down the hallway. Her eyes widened, then narrowed at the sight of Justin on her doorstep. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Where's Jessica?" Justin asked giving Hannah a pained look.

"How the hell should I know?" Hannah answered. "You seriously think I'd tell you, even if I did?"

"You know, everything was fine with her and me before you had to fuck everything up!" Justin spat.

"Fine?" Hannah asked, stepping menacingly toward Justin. "Is that what you call what happened to her at the party? _Fine?_ "

Clay put his hands on Hannah's shoulder to keep her from getting closer to Justin. Alex, having the same idea, pushed his hand on Justin's chest to keep them separated.

"Okay, look, seriously man, you gotta go," Clay said, shaking his head, his hands still on Hannah.

Justin glared at the two for a moment, then turned away from the door, when his phone rang. His eyes widened as he checked the caller ID.

"Jess, what took you so long?" Justin asked into the phone.

"Seriously, Justin?" Hannah managed to hear Jessica ask. "Now you're all concerned about what I'm doing?"

"I'm sorry about today," Justin said, causing Hannah to roll her eyes and scoff.

"Is that Justy?" another voice on the phone asked.

"Are you with Bryce?" Justin asked, growing uneasy.

"What?" Hannah asked.

"What the hell are you doing?" Justin asked, ignoring Hannah.

"We're hanging out at his place," Jessica answered.

"Tell him to get his ass over here," Bryce shouted.

"Who else is there?" Justin asked nervously. "Is anyone else there with you?"

"Who are you, my dad?" Jessica asked, annoyed.

"Come meet me at Alex's," Justin said, trying to stay calm.

"No, Jess, just go home!" Hannah tried to shout at the phone.

"I gotta go, Justin," Jessica said, sounding bored, clearly not having heard Hannah.

"Jess, do not hang up," Justin protested.

She already had.

Justin looked up, ignoring Hannah's enraged look, and turned to Alex.

"Come on, we need to go to Bryce's."

Justin and Alex headed towards the car parked on the street. Justin turned to see Hannah following him, with Clay hurrying to catch up.

"I'm going with you!" Hannah shouted.

"Hannah?" Clay called out to her.

"The fuck you are!" Justin turned around and stared at her.

"No, I don't trust you with her," Hannah retorted. "I'm going with you!"

"To Bryce's house?" Clay asked, rushing in front of her and putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "That's not a good idea. Look, I'll go with Justin and Alex, we'll get Jessica out of there, I'll call you when we're done, okay? Okay?"

"Whatever," Justin said.

Hannah sighed and lowered her head. Clay took her hands and squeezed them before turning and following Justin and Alex to the car.

"Hey, Alex!" Hannah shouted, causing Alex to turn and look at her. "Try and keep it under the speed limit this time, huh?"

"Uh..." Alex said. Clay had obviously told her about the ride he, Zach, and Justin had take Clay on to get him to back off.

"Yeah," Hannah said sarcastically.

Alex just shook his head and turned back to the car.

* * *

Clay, Justin, and Alex all frowned in confusion as they pulled up to the gate of Bryce's house and saw Tony's Mustang parked outside, with Tony leaning against it, apparently waiting for them.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin asked.

"Hannah called me," Tony said walking towards them. "She thought you could use some back up, I guess."

"Back up?" Clay asked, confused. "What does she think is gonna happen?"

Tony just shrugged and followed the other three boys toward the house.

* * *

No one was in the house itself, but Montgomery and several other boys were lounging around the large, spacious pool house. Bryce, Jessica and Zach were seated with a couple of boys at a poker table, where Jessica was gloating about winning the last few hands.

"Justy! Alex! About fucking time, you guys." Bryce said cheerfully as he spotted them entering, smirking when he saw who came with them. "When the fuck did you start hanging out with Jensen and Tony? Whatever. These cards are getting stale. Come on, sit down."

"Actually, Jess and I had this thing planned," Justin said, quietly.

"No, we don't," Jessica said, scoffing.

"We were gonna get late dinner," Justin said, hoping she'd take the hint.

Jessica scoffed again.

"Let's go," Justin said.

"When did you tell me about dinner?" Jessica asked, with a sarcastic edge. "Was that before or after you walked out on me today?"

"Ooh, Justin, sounds like you better make it up to her," Bryce said awkwardly, "by losing a few hands. Come on, sit"

Clay stood there and rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to say something.

"All right, well, uh, the game is Texas Hold 'Em," Zach said uneasily, clearly sensing the discomfort, "five dollar ante, five dollar minimum bet."

"Don't worry, I got you staked," Bryce said with a chuckle, "I mean your girlfriend's been playing with my money all night anyway."

"Will you three sit down?" Jessica said, frowning at Clay, Alex, and Tony.

Clay looked at Tony, who nodded, and the two pulled out chairs and joined them at the table, Clay making sure to sit between Bryce and Jessica.

"Whatever," Clay said in a low voice.

"Never figured you for a poker player, Jensen," Bryce said, smiling.

"Yeah, maybe none of us know each other as well as we thought," Clay said, giving Justin and Jessica a quick look, which Jessica returned with a condescending smirk.

"Alex, you too," Jessica said.

"No, I'm good," Alex said, looking sullen. "I hate poker."

"No, no, you have to play," Jessica said, her smile looking a bit forced. "Everybody's playing. Come on."

Jessica stood up and gave Alex her seat, then proceeded to sit in Bryce' lap.

"Whoa," Bryce said, a bit embarrassed, while Justin and Clay stared in disbelief.

"Uh, Jess?" Tony asked, uneasily.

"Jess, what the fuck?" Justin asked, as Jessica set down the deck of cards in front of him.

"Your deal," she said, impatiently.

"I don't wanna fucking play cards right now," Justin said, shoving the deck away.

"I said, your deal!" Jessica said, angrily throwing some of the cards at him.

"Jess," Zach said, trying to calm things.

"Shit," Bryce said, looking stunned.

Clay looked at Tony, trying to figure out their next move.

"Fuck it," Justin said, getting up from the table. "Let's go."

"Good idea," Tony said, looking down at the table, trying not to look at Bryce.

Justin headed towards the exit, as Clay and Tony stood up. Justin turned to see Jessica still sitting in Bryce lap, walked back, and grabbed her by the arm.

"I said let's go!" Justin said, gritting his teeth.

"What the fuck, Justin?" Jessica said, as he pulled her away.

Clay, Tony, and Alex quickly followed them out the door.

"We're leaving now," Justin said, still pulling her by the arm. "I don't want you hanging out here ever again!"

"Don't touch me like that!" Jessica yelled, wrestling her arm free of Justin's grip. "Don't you ever touch me like that!"

"Look, can we please just continue this conversation somewhere else?" Tony asked, nervously.

"Yeah, Jess, for once, Justin's right," Clay added. "You don't wanna be here."

"Who the fuck asked you two?" Jessica snapped at them.

Justin turned to see Bryce walk out of the pool house, with the other boys following them. Clay quickly looked at Tony. Maybe him being here wasn't such a bad thing after all.

"Buddy, calm down," Bryce said to Justin, while walking towards Jessica.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Justin said, glaring at Bryce.

"What is your problem, Justin?" Jessica asked, impatiently.

"You gotta tell her, man," Clay said, shaking his head.

"Guys, this does not need to happen," Zach said, trying to step in.

"Maybe it does," Alex said.

"What are you doing here?" Justin asked, looking back at Jessica. "What are you doing here with him?"

"We're just having fun," Jessica with a shrug.

For some reason, Clay felt sick to his stomach hearing that.

"Why the fuck are you here with Bryce?" Justin repeated, stepping closer to her.

"Why do you care?" Jessica asked, her eyes welling up. "Tell me!"

"Tell her, Justin," Alex goaded.

"Alex," Zach said, still hoping the situation would diffuse.

"Just tell her, man," Tony said softly.

"Let's go," Justin repeated.

"No, tell me why you care," Jessica repeated.

"Jess, let's go," Justin said again, with a hint of fear.

"Tell me why you fucking care!" Jessica shouted, her voice breaking.

 _"Because he fucking raped you!"_

Clay closed his eyes the moment the words came out of Justin's mouth, releasing a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Tony lowered his head solemnly.

Jessica stepped back, looking at Justin with dread. With a look that her worst fears had been confirmed.

"Justin, brother..." Bryce said, shocked, stepping towards Justin.

"I'm not your fucking brother!" Justin yelled, shoving him away.

"Stop! Enough!" Zach shouted, trying to get between them.

Justin, however lunged at Bryce, screaming threats at him. Zach managed to pull him off, while Bryce's friends kept them apart. Clay stepped forward, trying to intervene, but Tony held him back. A brawl between jocks was not something Clay wanted to get in the middle of.

Justin screamed at Zack to let him go over and over until Jessica stepped in front of him. In an instant, Justin's look went from anger to sorrow.

"I hate you," she hissed, striking him across the face and walking off.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Bryce asked Justin, before walking away, not noticing the murderous look that both Clay and Tony were giving him.

Justin stood there, surrounded by the other stunned party guests, and said nothing.

* * *

There were three people Jessica never wanted to see again. Two of them, she'd just left behind.

The third was waiting in front of her house as she walked up to it.

"Jess?" Hannah asked tentatively.

"Clay was at Bryce's," Jessica said with a cynical shrug. "He saw everything, which I guess means you know everything too. You happy now?"

"No," Hannah said, emphatically. "I just wanna help,"

"Help?" Jessica asked, laughing slightly in disbelief. "You wanna _help_ me, Hannah?"

"I'm sorry," Hannah whispered, her eyes welling up.

"You think you're so much better than the rest of us," Jessica said, raising her voice and throwing up her arms. "Better than me? Better than Justin? Oh, everyone was so terrible to poor Hannah, right? Including me."

Hannah swallowed but remained silent.

"You were sitting in that closet while it happened. You didn't say anything, you didn't try to get help, you just left me there after. And you didn't tell anyone until you got the idea to kill yourself, and you needed some more ammo for your fucking tapes to make me, and Alex, and Clay, and everybody else feel like shit. So we'd have to deal with the mess and you wouldn't," Jessica finally stepped closer. "So tell me, Hannah, what the fuck did I ever do to you that was worse than that?"

Hannah shook her head apologetically.

"You're as big of a fucking coward as Justin," Jessica said with disgust, before heading towards the house.

"Jess..." Hannah pleaded, reaching out and touching her arm.

Jessica swung around and slapped her.

Jessica pointed an accusing finger at Hannah, who had her hand over her cheek where Jessica had hit her and whose eyes were welling up with tears.

" _That one_ , you deserved!" Jessica shouted, her own eyes tearing up, before storming into the house.

Hannah collapsed to her knees, buried her face in her hands, and cried.

* * *

 ** _Turns out I was a pretty shitty friend._**

Jessica lay in her bed, trying to forget everything, when her phone chimed. She picked it up and looked at the text.

 _Hey, you ok?_

It was from Bryce.

She held her breath and began crying again.

* * *

 ** _On top of that, I didn't know at the time, but I'd set things in motion that night..._**

Clay sat on his bed, flipping through the box of tapes he'd never bothered to give back, shaking his head over everything that he'd seen.

He picked up the last tape, marked _13_ in purple nail polish and flipped it over.

The other side was blank.

Clay looked at it and started to think.

* * *

 ** _Things that would lead to something terrible._**

Tyler took a deep breath as he approached the man in the brown jacket behind the restaurant the following day.

"Are you shutterbug1337?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Tyler answered nervously.

"You're late," the man replied.

"I'm really sorry," Tyler said hurriedly. "I had a thing."

The man didn't look like he cared.

"You ready to do this?" the man asked.

Tyler pulled the roll of bills out of the pocket of his hoodie and handed it to the man, who thumbed through them.

"It's all there?" the man asked.

"Mm-hm," Tyler answered quietly, nodding.

The man pocketed the money, looked around, and then pulled out the object, wrapped in plastic, and handed it to Tyler, who began unwrapping it.

"Jesus, not here!" the man said, annoyed.

"How do I know?" Tyler asked, looking at the man, suspiciously.

"Just hold it."

Tyler wrapped his fingers around it and felt the weight of the object. Satisfied, he stuffed it in his bag.

"That thing's got a kick, all right?" the man warned. "You gotta use the right grip."

A smile formed over Tyler's face.

"Yeah, I'll Google that. Thanks."

The man shook his head as Tyler walked away.

* * *

 _Please review and tell me specifically what you liked or disliked. The more detailed, the better.  
_


	6. Chapter 6: Tape 7, Side B

**_I've never been good at opening up to strangers. Maybe if I had been, things would've been different. I started to a little bit with the doctors at the facility where my parents sent me, but that place turned out to be a bit more than they could afford and it couldn't last._**

Hannah picked at the edges of the armrest on the uncomfortable couch she was sitting on.

 ** _Instead, they found a local therapist._**

 ** _That's how I ended up making regular visits to Dr. Barnes._**

The balding, bearded, middle-aged man sitting across from Hannah looked up at her from his notepad.

"So, Hannah," Dr. Barnes said, clinically, "you mentioned something about a recent argument with your friend, Jessica?"

"Yeah," Hannah said. She was about to elaborate, but Dr. Barnes didn't give her a chance.

He immediately went into a long-winded diagnosis of Hannah's problem, based on his observations, not giving her a chance to say much for herself.

 ** _Dr. Barnes_** **really _liked the sound of his own voice._**

 ** _I suppose I might've been annoyed under different circumstances, but this was actually good for me, because it meant I wouldn't have to talk about things I wasn't ready to talk about, and none of it would get back to my parents._**

"…and that's obviously the case with you, Hannah," Dr. Barnes said, after having droned on without a pause for several minutes, with Hannah nodding absentmindedly.

Hannah rolled her eyes when Dr. Barnes wasn't looking.

 ** _It's just that putting up with him could get... exhausting._**

* * *

Olivia stood up from her chair in the waiting room as Hannah and Dr, Barnes walked out of the office.

"Well, I think we've made some real progress today," Dr. Barnes said with a confident nod. "I think she's come a long way since you first brought her to me."

"Really," Olivia said, with a hint of skepticism. "You think she's getting better?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely," Dr. Barnes said, looking pleased with himself.

"Absolutely," Olivia repeated, still sounding skeptical.

* * *

Sitting in the jeep, Olivia turned to Hannah, who was looking out the window, apparently at a cyclist riding his bike.

"Do you feel like these sessions are helping?" Olivia asked gently. "I know I've asked that before. I just wanna make sure."

"Yeah," Hannah answered, sounding distracted. "They're good."

"Would you tell me if they weren't?" Olivia asked with a frown.

"Mom," Hannah said with a weary tone.

"No, I mean it," Olivia continued firmly. "Are you trying to open up and get help, or are you just going through the motions because you think that'll get us off your back?"

"I'm trying to get through this by talking about it," Hannah replied with a half-truth. She didn't say who she was talking about things with.

"Are you?" Olivia asked, unconvinced, but suspecting that pushing further at that point wouldn't help. "Look, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about. Your dad and I have been talking about this, and maybe... a change in schools might be something to consider."

"What?" Hannah asked, staring at her mother.

"Hannah, I went there the other day," Olivia said. "I talked to the principal, and he didn't exactly leave me reassured. I saw the crap people wrote in the bathroom. Also... your dad and I met with a lawyer. We're figuring out what our options are."

"Options for what? Like... suing the school?"

"Maybe," Olivia said with a shrug. "Either way, I don't feel like that's a good place for you."

"What about Clay? What about Tony?"

"Honey, we're not saying you can't see Clay or Tony, but I'm not sure this school is right for you. Are you gonna tell me that school had nothing to do with what's happened?"

Hannah looked at her mother uneasily, but said nothing.

"Did anything specific happen that you wanna tell me about?" Olivia continued. "Maybe there's something we can do something about it."

Hannah continued to stare uneasily.

"Well, then you see my problem," Olivia said letting the frustration seep into her voice.

Hannah went back to looking out the window.

* * *

"Jessica?"

Jessica looked up from her lunch in the cafeteria to see Clay, and squinted in confusion at his appearance. He was wearing a hoodie, with the hood up, presumably as some sort of disguise on account of being suspended. Clay quickly put up his hands.

"I'm not here to plead on Hannah's behalf. She doesn't know I'm here. Can I...?" Clay gestured to the empty chair across from Jessica, who shrugged.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"You were the only one who tried to tell me the truth," Jessica said.

 _Hannah did too,_ Clay thought to himself, but decided this wasn't the best time to remind her of that.

"Are you...?" Clay began to ask, before stopping himself. "I promised myself that I wasn't going to say something stupid like 'are you okay?' or 'how are you doing?', because, like, how the fuck do you think, right? But... how are you?"

"How the fuck do you think?" Jessica replied gently, with a slight smile.

"Yeah," Clay said, lowering his head. "Do you need to... talk to somebody? See somebody?"

"Who?"

Clay paused for a moment, trying to think of an answer that didn't sound condescending, but gave up. Instead, he reached into his bag, pulled out a box covered in drawings of flowers and leaves, and set it on the table in front of Jessica. She knew exactly what was in it.

"You actually kept them?" Jessica asked.

"Everything that happened, I never really got around to asking her what she wanted to do with them," Clay answered with a shrug.

Jessica stared at the box for a moment.

"I'll burn these," Clay said. "I'll light them on fire, and let them burn until they're... I dunno, melted plastic and ash. It's your call. I'll never tell anyone. Neither will Hannah or Tony. Everybody else wants to pretend like nothing happened anyway." Clay leaned closer. "But if you wanna fight, if you want him to pay for what he did, Hannah'll say what she saw. I know she will."

"You want me to tell the whole goddamn world what happened to me?" Jessica asked in disbelief.

"I want you to do what you want to do. Whatever's gonna make this better for you, if anything can," Clay answered gently, shifting slightly in his chair. "But I'm not gonna lie. I want him to pay for what he did... to both of you."

"Will he, though?" Jessica asked, looking down. "I mean, have you listened to the last tape? You know what happens when girls try to get help?"

"I listened to the last tape," Clay said, nodding solemnly. "But if you want to say what happened, we'll back you up."

"Why? Cause Hannah wants to make it up to me?" Jessica asked coolly.

"Look," Clay said with a sigh. "I know… everyone thinks that I just go along with whatever Hannah wants, but, yeah, she messed up, and... I know she'd want to do something to make it right if she could."

"Clay, I know you're trying to help, but I really don't wanna see or talk to Hannah," Jessica said. "And even if I did, I'd have to tell the police. I'd have to tell my dad. I don't think I can do that. Besides, it's our word against his." Jessica took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I mean I was passed out, and Hannah, with all her problems, you know what they'll say about her?"

Clay looked down at the box for a moment before looking back up at Jessica.

"What if there was proof?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Like... a confession or something," Clay continued. "I'm just asking, if there was, would that make a difference?"

"I... I dunno. Maybe." Jessica eyed Clay suspiciously. "What are you planning on doing?"

"I'm just... trying to figure things out," Clay answered quickly before looking around and getting up from the chair. "Thanks for talking to me about this, and, I guess let me know if there's anything... " Clay trailed off and shrugged. "If there's anything."

"She's really lucky to have someone like you," Jessica said, looking wistful.

Clay smiled slightly and headed towards the exit.

"Clay," she called out.

He turned around and looked at her.

"Be careful," she said, looking slightly worried.

Clay nodded uneasily, and walked away.

Jessica sat there for moment with nothing but her thoughts before she noticed Alex walking towards her, holding his own tray of lunch. Jessica wasn't sure if he'd just gotten it, or if he was just throwing it out without eating anything.

"What did Clay want?" he asked.

Jessica watched Clay leave, then looked up worriedly at Alex.

* * *

Tyler was checking the settings on his camera when he saw Clay walk out of the lunch room.

 _Probably going to pull another stupid stunt for Hannah,_ Tyler thought bitterly, scowling at Clay. Clay didn't see Tyler as he passed by, however.

Then again, most people never did.

Being invisible was something Tyler had just had to learn to live with. The best photographers try to stay objective, trying to avoid inserting themselves in the subject as much as possible.

It still felt a bit lonely sometimes, but he told himself at least it made it easier to get some great shots. The kind of shots that would get him noticed one day,

Then Hannah made her stupid tapes.

Suddenly, he couldn't sleep, dreading that someone was going to throw another rock through his window and hit him. He'd tried to tell himself it was just some lame attempt at payback on her part and people would move on.

But then Clay decided to take that picture instead and send it to everyone.

Clay had always been nice to Tyler before. He'd smiled when Tyler asked to take his picture and complimented him on some of the photos he saw in the paper. But Clay seemed to have appointed himself Hannah's personal white knight, and when he got a hold of the tapes, he decided to go above and beyond what Hannah said to do on them.

Overnight, Tyler was the butt, so to speak, of every joke at school. He couldn't go anywhere without being mocked or even mooned by one of the popular kids. People had been posting sick things on his social media. Mr. Porter was no help—big surprise there—asking Tyler what he'd done to provoke it.

Even if this did eventually blow over, somehow the thought of everyone going back to ignoring him, like nothing ever happened, made Tyler angry.

He was sick of no one taking him seriously.

Shaking his head, Tyler turned and started walking in the other direction...

...causing him to collide with Bryce's bulky form.

The much smaller and scrawnier Tyler was knocked to the floor, with a few things spilling out of his bag.

Including one thing he definitely didn't want people to see.

Cursing under his breath, Tyler quickly scooped up most of the items and stuffed them back in his bag... but was too late to keep Bryce from picking up the gun and examining it.

"Seriously?" Bryce asked, while Tyler looked around to make sure no one else could see them. "What is it with everybody and guns lately?"

Tyler picked himself up and looked nervously at Bryce, who was still handling the gun. Bryce usually traveled with a posse and Tyler dreaded the thought of someone else seeing them.

"Fuck," Bryce said with a smirk. "Gives 'point and shoot' a whole new meaning. Where'd you get this anyway?"

"Some... guy on the internet," Tyler managed to stammer, giving a quick look around.

"You're not planning to do something fucked up, are you?" Bryce asked, half-joking.

Tyler didn't answer.

Bryce chuckled and held the gun the way Jessica had taught him. It still felt pretty bad-ass for a moment, before he realized handling a gun openly in the hallways wasn't a good idea, and lowered it.

"Better not let anyone here catch you with this," he said, still smirking.

"Yeah, whatever," Tyler said in a low tone. "Can I have it back, please?"

"Shit," Bryce muttered, handing the gun back to Tyler, who stuffed it in his bag, and giving the smaller boy a slap on the arm. "Take it easy, man."

Tyler sighed in relief as Bryce walked away. That had been too close.

* * *

Tony's house was on the other side of town, so this bike ride had been a bit longer than usual for Clay, leaving him a bit out of breath by the time he arrived.

A middle-aged man Clay vaguely remembered to be Tony's father was standing in front of the red Mustang in the driveway, peering under the open hood at the engine. The man looked up as he heard Clay's bike skid to a stop.

"Can I help you?" the man asked.

"Hi, uh, Mr. Padilla," Clay said awkwardly. "I'm, uh, Clay Jensen."

"Right, right, Tony's friend," Mr. Padilla said, holding up his dirty hands. "Well, you probably don't wanna shake my hand right now."

"Right. Is... Tony here?" Clay asked innocently, already knowing the answer.

"No, he's out doing something with his brothers," Mr. Padilla said, shaking his head. "Is there something you need?"

"Well... actually, I was supposed to borrow something from him for a class project tomorrow. He said he had a tape recorder, one that actually… uh, records," Clay asked, squinting in embarrassment at his awkward phrasing

"I could have him bring it to school tomorrow."

"Well, actually, the... uh, the project's due tomorrow," Clay stammered, giving a smile. "I'd... I'd really appreciate if I could get it now." The last thing Clay wanted was Tony finding out about this. He couldn't risk Tony saying something to Hannah.

"You shouldn't leave something like that to the last minute," Mr. Padilla said with a frown as he went to get a rag to wipe his hands.

"Yeah, you're right," Clay answered, nodding nervously. "I've just been a little busy."

"Busy with that girl—uh, Hannah?"

"What?" Clay asked, perking up.

"It's Hannah, right? Tony said you two were together. He talks about her a lot."

"Right, right," Clay said, sighing. "Yeah, I guess I've spending a lot of time with her."

"Well, come on in, and we'll see if we can find that tape recorder." Mr. Padilla gestured to Clay as he walked towards the house. "But, like I said, you got to take care of the important things before it's too late."

"Believe me," Clay said, shaking his head and smiling. "That's what I'm trying to do."

* * *

Hannah looked at the stacks of candies in the back room of her parents' store and sighed. She wondered if they'd be open to some suggestions on getting in a few more options for chocolates, but she doubted it. They'd say she just wanted them to get them for her, which wasn't completely wrong.

She went back to counting inventory when she heard the voice out front.

"Alex Standall," the voice said. "S-T-A-N-D-A-L-L."

"Yes," she heard her father say over the crumpling sound of the paper bag prescriptions usually came in. "It's filled. Ready to go.

 _What the hell's he doing here?_ Hannah thought to herself, sighing. Her father had taught her a long time ago that working in the pharmacy business meant being discreet, and Hannah wasn't the eavesdropping type anyway, but Alex and her father weren't exactly whispering.

"Okay, so with this, you want to take one every night before bed, with water, with or without food," Andy continued. "This one can make you a bit dizzy—"

"I know," Alex interrupted. "I've been taking it for a while now."

 _A while?_ Hannah thought. She'd assumed this had something to do with the fight with Monty a few days ago, but maybe not. A pang of concern passed through Hannah before she shook her head and willed it away. She had her own problems to deal with.

"Oh, we have this as new."

"Yeah," Alex said. "I used to go to the Walplex."

"I could have them send your history over, if you'd like."

Hannah sighed quietly. She hoped this didn't mean Alex was going to be coming around here regularly.

"Yeah, that'd be great," Alex said. "Thank you."

 _Yeah, great._ Hannah rolled her eyes.

Hannah heard the noise of the cash register, as Alex thanked her father. It was silent for a moment and Hannah hoped Alex walking towards the door.

"I, uh, I'm... I was friends with Hannah," Alex finally said.

 _Emphasis on_ was _,_ Hannah thought bitterly.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I... I know she's been going through some stuff lately, and I'm really sorry. I hope she's doing better."

"Thank you, Alex," Andy responded sincerely.

Hannah looked at the wall, almost trying to scowl at Alex from behind it.

There was another moment of silence, this one longer than the last, before Alex finally walked out. She was glad she happened to be in the back when he'd come in. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her and try to talk to her.

 _But if he wants to talk to me, then maybe I've got a few more words for him,_ Hannah thought, as she found herself walking out of the back room towards the front door.

"Well, that was nice of him," Andy said, giving a smile as she passed him by.

"Yeah, Alex is really nice," Hannah said dismissively as she walked through the door and looked to see in which direction Alex was headed.

"Alex!" she yelled, causing him to spin around. His eyes widened as he saw her.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" Hannah asked wearily, throwing up her hands.

"Just thought I'd support a local business," Alex answered timidly.

"Seriously, Alex, what are you doing?"

"Hannah, I'm..." Alex started. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, great, I heard you the first time. What do you want?"

Alex paused for a moment, looking unsure of the answer to that question.

"I dunno," he finally said. "I thought... maybe..."

"Maybe, what, Alex?" Hannah interrupted, "What exactly do you think is gonna happen, huh? We'll just go back to the way things were? Drinks at Monet's? Like nothing happened?"

Alex just lowered his head.

"Every guy was staring at my ass, or making comments, or grabbing me, because of you and your fucking list." Hannah shook her head. "I know that's not what you meant to happen, but it happened. I can't just... forget that, Alex."

Alex nodded solemnly, turned and walked away. He stopped after a moment, turned and looked at Hannah.

"Do you know where Clay is right now?" he asked.

"What?" Hannah replied, narrowing her eyes, clearly confused. "I dunno. Probably at home."

"No, I talked to Jess," Alex said, shaking his head. "I don't think so."

* * *

Sitting on his bike, Clay took a deep breath as he stopped in front of Bryce's house for the second time in a week.

This was the last place he wanted to be. He'd never been a fan of Bryce's to begin with. He remembered agreeing that Kat was being too kind when she warned Hannah that Bryce was "frat boy Darth Vader". Bryce had accumulated a reputation as a player, as a spoiled rich kid, and as a bully to anyone outside his circle of friends.

But it turned out Bryce was all those things, and something much, much worse.

Clay had felt sick when he listened to the tapes and learned what Bryce had done to Jessica, Hannah, and probably some others. The thought that Hannah had tried to kill herself because of it made him feel sicker. But the idea of Bryce getting away with it made him feel sickest of all.

He wasn't going to get away with it. Not if Clay had anything to do with it.

Clay walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Part of him wished that no one would be home. Clay could just leave and not have to see him.

Bryce answered the door, giving Clay a puzzled look.

"Jensen, what the fuck do you want?"

"Hey, Bryce," Clay said, trying to sound as innocent as possible. "Um, listen, I was wondering... if... I mean, was hoping you wouldn't mind... Look, I know it's weird, but I was hoping to maybe buy some weed. It's kind of an emergency."

"You wanna buy some weed," Bryce said, giving Clay a skeptical smirk. "From me?"

"Yes, I do. If you wouldn't mind" _He's not buying this._

"Why would I mind?" Bryce shrugged and gestured into the house. "Come on in."

Clay took a breath, feigned a smile, and walked inside.

"So you need some weed, huh?" Bryce said, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah... um, I do," Clay said, hoping he still sounded convincing.

"'Cause you got yours confiscated the other day."

"You heard about that?" Clay asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Bryce said with a chuckle that just made Clay more nervous. "Everybody did. Any time one of the squeaky clean kids gets a little dirty, it's pretty big news."

"That's...interesting," Clay answered.

"So, listen, I'm gonna hook you up this time, 'cause you seem pretty desperate," Bryce said, sitting down in the living room and opening up a wooden box. "And I happen to have a bunch of shit on hand right now... and, you know, four-twenty brotherhood, but I'm not a dealer, okay? So, if you need, like a regular thing, I can hook you up with my guy"

"You keep it on the coffee table?"

"Yeah, my parents are in Ibiza," Bryce said casually. "They won't be back for another week. So what do you want? Like, uh, like an eighth?"

Clay just nodded, trying to look like he any idea what that meant.

"Indica or sativa?"

"Um, hybrid?" Clay guessed.

"Hybrid. I concur," Bryce said, sifting through box. "Gotta say, man, I did not take you for a stoner."

"Yeah, well," Clay glared at Bryce, before walking towards the window looking out to the hot tub in the back yard. "I guess you never know what's going on in someone else's life, right?"

Bryce wasn't really paying attention.

"So that party here the other night was fun," Clay said, looking out the window.

"Yeah, until Justy got all weird and ruined it," Bryce grumbled.

"I bet you have some great parties out here, huh?" Clay continued, looking out at the hot tub.

"Fuckin' legendary."

"Yeah, looks like a great house for a party," Clay said absentmindedly before walking over to his bag. "Oh, let me get my cash."

"Uh, most people pay sixty bucks for an eighth," Bryce said with a shrug. "I pay forty."

Clay sifted through the bag, not checking for money, but the other thing that was in it.

"You know what, buddy?" Bryce said, assuming Clay didn't have any money. "Fuck it. Just bring some to my next party. We'll call it even."

"Yeah, sure." Clay's heart was racing as he stood up and looked at Bryce. "Uh, Hannah told me about one of your parties."

"Hannah Baker?" Bryce said with yet another smirk. "Yeah, I hear you two are a thing now, huh?"

"Yeah," Clay said, forcing a smile.

"Congrats, man. She's a hot one."

"Yeah," Clay said, his fists clenching. "So, about this party, she told me something happened. Something with you..."

* * *

Sitting in the car, Hannah took a deep breath. She tried not to think about where she was going. She tried instead to focus on who she was going there for.

Her brain wasn't letting her make that distinction, though.

"It's just up here," Alex said, turning away from the road to glance at Hannah. "Did you try his phone again?"

"Yes," Hannah answered irritably. "Just drive." Tony wasn't answering his phone either, so there'd be no backup this time.

Hannah's breathing grew heavier as she struggled not to think about what Bryce would do if he found out what Clay was up to. She hadn't done anything when Bryce hurt Jessica. She hadn't been able to do anything when Bryce hurt her. She wasn't going to let him hurt someone else she cared about, certainly not because of her.

"What the fuck was Clay thinking?" Hannah whispered, loud enough for Alex to hear.

"I dunno, making sure people know the truth?" Alex said quietly. "I thought that's what you wanted."

Hannah glared at Alex for a moment, then turned back and noticed something emerge from one of the driveways.

Someone riding a bike.

She could barely hear, but it looked like the rider was shouting to himself. As she got closer, she recognized his face, covered in cuts and bruises.

"Oh my God, stop, stop!" she shouted to Alex, who brought the car to a screeching halt, managing to get Clay's attention.

Hannah and Alex jumped out of the car, rushing over to Clay.

"Oh my God, what the fuck did you do?" Hannah asked with a mix of fear and anger. A smile formed under Clay's bloody face, which seemed to anger her more.

"I got it," he said, eliciting a confused look from both Hannah and Alex. Noticing this, Clay rummaged through his backpack, until he found the tape recorder, popped the tape out of it, and handed it to Hannah. She recognized it as the last tape she'd recorded, only Clay had written the number "14" on the previously blank side in purple nail polish. "It's all on there. He didn't even try to deny it. We got it."

"Holy shit," Alex said, his eyes widening.

Clay handed Hannah the tape, beaming proudly. She looked at the tape in shock for a moment...

...then threw it at Clay and shoved him.

"Hey!" Clay blurted out, managing to catch the tape, but stumbling backwards from Hannah's shove.

"What were you thinking, Clay? Do you have any idea what Bryce would've done if he found out what you were doing?"

"I... I was trying get proof so he can pay for he did," Clay stammered, stunned by Hannah's reaction. He'd thought she might be concerned or angry, but not _this_ angry. "I'll be fine, all right? It's worth it if it helps you."

"I don't need everybody trying to save me!" Hannah shouted, the conversation with her mother flashing through her mind for a moment. "I don't need you doing stupid, dangerous shit trying to solve my problems!"

"Well, you needed somebody," Clay answered, his voice starting to rise. "And I'm not sorry!"

"Then you're a fucking idiot!" Hannah yelled.

"I'm an idiot, am I?" Clay shot back. "You know what? I don't need to be lectured on doing stupid, dangerous shit from the girl who was gonna kill herself!"

The moment that came out, Clay knew he'd messed up. Even Alex winced.

Hannah just stared at him.

"Hannah, I... I didn't mean..." Clay stammered, desperately trying to recover.

Hannah continued staring at Clay for another moment, then rolled her eyes and walked away.

"Hannah..." Clay said, starting after her, before Alex grabbed his arm, and shook his head, giving Clay an awkward look. Going after her now would just make things worse.

Clay looked at Alex, then down at the ground and closed his eyes.

"Fuck!" he hissed in frustration.

 ** _That was a bad day..._**

* * *

 ** _But it wasn't the_** **worst _day..._**

Olivia felt a pang of guilt as she sifted through the boxes in Hannah's closet, but she forced it down as she continued searching. She wasn't even sure _what_ she was looking for, but that didn't seem to slow her down. There had to be something... anything...

She took a deep breath as she opened one box and saw the purple shoes Hannah had worn to that formal last year. She'd looked so beautiful, and she'd been so excited when they showed her the new car.

Olivia shook her head, put the shoes back in the box, and put it aside. Opening the next one, she was surprised to find there were no shoes, but rather three or four cassettes and a folded up piece of paper.

She unfolded it to a few small drawings on it and several names written over it. A few had been crossed out, but several more had been circled, with lines leading from one to another. She recognized some of the names from Hannah's Facebook page. _Jessica, Alex, Zach, Ryan..._ Clay was on there too. So was Tony, who had a question mark next to his name. And one name had been circled several times, as if to emphasize something.

 _Bryce._

Olivia's eyes widened.

 ** _No, that would be the day after._**

* * *

It was late at night when the van pulled to a stop at the docks. The two men in black ski masks got out of the front and opened the sliding door, where two more men in ski masks were crouched down, holding down someone with a sack over his head. The two men inside tossed their prisoner out of the van, landing with a grunt on the concrete ground. One of the others grabbed the edge of the sack and pulled it off, revealing the confused face of Bryce Walker.

"What the fuck is this shit?" Bryce asked, half-wondering if it was some kind of hazing thing.

Bryce put his hands on the ground to lift himself up, but one of the men came forward and stepped down on his fingers, preventing him from getting up. Bryce growled in pain and the masked man intentionally pressed his weight down.

"Stay down and listen," one of the others said.

Bryce just stared up at them in disbelief.

* * *

 _Review, please!_


	7. Chapter 7: The Fourteenth Reason

**_On the off chance that anyone else is listening to this, think back to your worst day. I don't mean missing a bus or messing up on a test. I mean the absolute_** **worst _. How did you feel when you woke up that morning? Were you happy, thinking it was going to be a good day? Were you dreading something bad happening?_**

Hannah lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

 ** _Me, I remember exactly how I felt when I woke up._**

She took a deep breath and sat up.

 ** _I was mad._**

* * *

Hannah had already texted Tony to ask for a ride. She made sure she heard his car pull up out front before she stepped out of her room. She grabbed a few granola bars from the kitchen, stuffed them in her bag, then headed for the door.

Her mother was standing in her way. She didn't look happy.

"Where do you think you're going?" Olivia asked.

"To school," Hannah answered, confused.

"You're not going with Clay today?" Olivia asked, glancing at Tony's car outside.

"Clay's an idiot," Hannah replied, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, he's an idiot now, is he?" Olivia repeated, sounding slightly condescending. "We'll I'd ask why, but I don't think I'd get a straight answer."

"What are you talking about?" Hannah asked, feeling nervous.

"You know, I wanted to do this when your father was here, but I don't really feel like putting this off any longer," Olivia said, throwing her hands up. "Every time we ask you how this happened, you give us the run around. You tell us vague answers to get us to back off, but that's all. I told myself that if we gave you some time and space and just made sure you knew we were here for you, that you'd open up on your own, but clearly that's not that case. Well, I am done walking on eggshells around you, Hannah."

Olivia pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket, unfolded it, and slammed it down on the kitchen counter. Hannah's eyes widened when she saw what it was.

"Where did you...?" Hannah stammered.

"I found it in your closet last night."

"You went through my stuff?" Hannah asked in disbelief.

"No, you do not get to play the privacy card right now," Olivia said firmly. "What is this? What are these names? Why are they all... connected? Why are Clay and Tony on here? Why does Tony's name have a question mark next to it? And why is Bryce circled so many times?"

"It's nothing," Hannah said defensively.

"Bullshit, Hannah." Olivia glared at her daughter. "This is something, and I wanna know what this is."

Hannah just stood there, unable to say anything.

"I'm afraid every day," Olivia continued, her eyes welling up. "I'm afraid I'm gonna come and find you in the bathtub with your wrists cut. You have no idea what it's like to be that afraid for someone that you love, and I hope that you never do, but you do not get to keep these secrets, because they'll kill you."

Hannah looked down at the paper, gathered what resolve she could, and looked up at her mother coldly.

"I'm sorry, mom, but I can't talk about this, not yet," she said. "I'm dealing with this in my own."

"No," Olivia said, simply. "You're not. That's not how it works. Now, I'll take you to school myself, and then you're gonna go straight to the store after, and then you're gonna sit down with your father and I, and we'll decide if those kids, including Tony, including Clay, should be in your life."

Hannah stared at her mother.

 ** _At this point, I didn't care. I didn't even care if they sent me away again. But I had things to do at school first, however I got there._**

* * *

Tony looked up from the dashboard to see Hannah walk out the front door with an angry stare, followed quickly by her mother, who walked over to Tony's car.

"Thank you, Tony," Olivia said, giving him a cool look, "but I think I'm going to drive Hannah to school myself."

Tony watched the two of them head over to the jeep in the driveway and suddenly felt very uneasy.

* * *

 ** _They threatened Clay to get me to stop before, but I was too mad to even think about that at the moment. Nothing was going to stop me._**

Hannah and her mother sat in silence for the entire ride to school.

 ** _And I knew exactly who I was going to start with._**

* * *

Sitting in the lunch room, Courtney Crimsen turned away from her neatly-organized lunch to check her email on her phone.

Her dads had encouraged her to keep screen time to a minimum at lunch, and after that business with Tyler Down, she tended to agree, but she was still waiting to hear back about some of the internship applications she'd sent out. She knew her college credentials looked good already— class president, Honor Board secretary, and a 4.0 GPA—but she wanted a few more things to include, to go that extra mile.

She shook herself out of that moment of self-doubt. She'd always worked hard and succeeded. They'd see that.

Suddenly she looked up, sensing someone behind her. She turned to see Hannah standing over her, arms crossed, with a forced-looking smile on her face.

"Hey, Courtney," she said. "Got a minute?"

"Uh, Hannah," Courtney said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Actually... I'm supposed to be giving some new students a tour soon. Maybe another time" Courtney said, gathering up her lunch and standing up to leave.

Hannah blocked her path.

"Maybe now."

The icy look in Hannah's eyes made Courtney more than a little nervous. Courtney tried to summon her own strength and looked back at her. She tried to keep her composure, but started to wilt under Hannah's stare.

"I... I don't have time for this," Courtney said, turning and walking in the other direction.

Courtney made it a few feet before she heard Hannah's voice.

"Really, Courtney?" Hannah said, in a loud, exaggerated voice that everyone in the lunch room could hear. "You are? I had no idea."

Ignoring the other confused kids, Courtney spun around and looked at Hannah, horrified. The look on Hannah's face confirmed her worst fear.

 _I'm not bluffing. I'll tell your little secret to the whole school._

Hannah walked over to Courtney, gritted her teeth, and whispered in her ear.

"Sit down, and for once in your life, shut up."

Trembling slightly, Courtney meekly sat back down at the table. Hannah sat down across from her. Courtney took a deep breath, and braced herself for a very unpleasant conversation.

 ** _Yeah, that was pretty low, but I didn't care. And I was just getting started._**

* * *

Alex's eyes widened in disbelief as he and Zach walked through the hallways.

"Yeah, I heard they beat him up pretty bad," Zach said, shaking his head. "Messed up his arm too. He's probably gonna sit out most of the season, miss the scouts. This could cost him his chance to play at pretty much any good school."

"Yeah, well, he had it coming, if you ask me," Alex said, rolling his eyes.

"I'd still like to know who the hell did it," Zach said uneasily. "I mean, a lot of people heard what Justin said at the party, and then Bryce gets attacked a couple of nights later? You seriously think that's a coincidence?"

"What I think is Bryce raped two people I care about and got what he deserved."

"Would you keep your voice down?" Zach whispered.

"Whatever," Alex said with a shrug.

"Look, I'm just saying Bryce is pissed, and that's not a guy you wanna cross."

Alex said nothing. It wasn't like he would've cared either way.

Before Zach could say anything else, he noticed someone coming from the far end of the hallway, obviously in a hurry.

It was Tyler, followed quickly by Hannah, whom Tyler seemed to be trying to avoid.

"What the fuck is this?" Zach asked quietly.

"Where you going, Tyler?" Hannah said, managing to keep up with him. "Going to take some pictures? Maybe sneak into the girls' locker room? Get a few good shots?"

"Leave me alone," Tyler said defensively.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Hannah continued, not trying to hide her sarcasm as she raised her voice. "Am I intruding? Am I invading your personal space? Huh?"

She gave him a shove as she emphasized the last word, causing him to stumble a bit. Tyler turned around and glared back at her.

"You know what?" he said. "Justin and the others were right. You are a crazy drama queen. So fuck you and your stupid tapes!"

Tyler turned and walked away. Hannah clenched her fists and felt like her blood was boiling.

"Nice ass, Tyler!" she shouted, causing a few students leaning against their lockers to snicker. Tyler spun around again and stared murderously at Hannah.

"Hey, come on, Tyler!" she continued mockingly, beginning to clap, causing more students to laugh. "Why don't you show us that ass? Or is that more of peep show from your window type of thing?" The students began laughing even further.

For a moment Tyler looking like he was debating between attacking Hannah or walking away. He chose the latter... only to bump into the approaching Montgomery de la Cruz.

"Watch where you're going, freak!" Monty snapped.

"Don't call me that," Tyler said, turning his glare to Monty.

"Then why are you running away from girls, _freak_?"

Tyler lunged at Monty but the larger boy pinned him against a locker. Tyler grabbed Monty, struggling in vain to break free, which only caused Monty to shove him harder.

Hannah stepped back, suddenly feeling like something was getting out of hand.

"Jesus, Montgomery," Alex said, finally stepping forward. "Leave him alone."

"What, you wanna go again?" Monty said stepping away from Tyler and towards Alex.

"Do you?" Alex said, and Zach stepped forward to join him. "Didn't you just get back from your suspension?"

"Fuck you, Alex," Monty said with a smirk.

"No thanks, Monty," Alex replied with a bored tone. "You're not man enough."

"Okay," Monty said, grinning sarcastically at Alex, before giving Tyler a condescending pat on the cheek and walking away.

Alex looked back at Zach, who gave a weary sigh now that the tension had broken.

"I gotta get to class," Zach said, before heading off.

"I suppose you expect me to thank you," Tyler said bitterly as Alex walked by him.

"Actually, I'd like it if you never spoke to me again," Alex said, still walking.

Alex headed towards Hannah, who seemed to have retreated slightly from the scene.

"Hannah, what the hell was that?" he asked.

Hannah turned to Alex, ready to make a sarcastic comment reminding him of the "best ass" list he'd made. Instead, she just looked at him for a second, then walked away, leaving him confused.

* * *

"Hannah?"

Having stepped outside after her last class let out early for the day, Hannah turned to see Tony pull up in his car.

"Hey, I was thinking of taking the afternoon off, going for a little ride. You wanna join me?" His tone was soft, but Tony wasn't smiling.

"No, thanks," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I insist," he said, a bit firmer.

"Fuck you," she spat, turning away.

"Fine," Tony said with a shrug. "I'll just go by myself. Maybe stop by your parents' store, drop off a little package for them." He patted the familiar-looking box sitting between the seats, causing Hannah's eyes to widen. "I picked these up from Clay today. He told me about his little stunt, but since I already got a copy of most of these, I don't really need two."

Hannah stared venomously at Tony for a moment, before her look turned to suspicion.

"Do you promise not to talk about Clay?" she asked.

"Cross my heart," he said, making an "X" over his chest.

Hannah heaved a sigh and got in the car. Tony nodded as they drove away from the school.

"So, Alex told me you've been pretty busy today," Tony said, looking at the road.

"Did he?"

"Well, what would you call threatening to out Courtney and humiliating Tyler in front the whole school?"

"I dunno," Hannah replied with a bored shrug. "Karma? Payback?"

"Payback, huh?" Tony said, looking at her with a frown. "Is that what we're doing now? Hurting everyone who ever hurt you? Tooth for a tooth, eye for an eye? That's not what this was supposed to be. Revenge isn't gonna make you feel better."

"It did today."

"Oh yeah?" Tony continued. "And if Tyler Down ends up doing the same thing you almost did, is that gonna make you feel better? Oh, and by the way, threatening to out someone in public? Seriously not okay. Deciding when or even if you come out is one of the hardest, scariest fucking things you can do. You do not get to hold that over someone like a bargaining chip."

Hannah looked at Tony for a moment, stunned.

"Tony, I… I'm sorry," she finally stammered. "I didn't…"

"You didn't know 'cause that's not something you need to worry about."

Hannah looked down, feeling ashamed. After a moment. Tony reached over and took her hand.

"Look, if getting people to face up to what they did and apologizing helps you, then I'm all for it. I just don't want you to turn into the thing you're fighting against."

"Yeah," she said solemnly.

"Look, don't beat yourself up," Tony said softly. "We're young. We all do dumb things."

"You don't," Hannah said, shaking her head and looking out the window.

"Oh, is that what you think?" Tony asked, with a wry look. "That I'm just the wise sage, who's here to convey wisdom, sitting above it all? Well, I hate to break it to you, but I've done some really stupid shit. In fact, last night was something pretty big."

"What happened?" Hannah said, looking concerned.

"Well, actually, it had to do with you," Tony said, looking nervous. "After what happened with Jessica at Bryce's… I was pissed. I wanted to do something. So yesterday, I ended up calling my brothers…"

* * *

 _"What the fuck is this shit?" Bryce asked._

 _Standing back, wearing his ski mask, Tony didn't say a word. That had been the deal. Bryce didn't know any of Tony's brothers. As long as Tony kept quiet, Bryce wouldn't recognize any of their voices._

 _Bryce put his hands on the ground to lift himself up, but one of the men came forward and stepped down on his fingers, preventing him from getting up. Bryce growled in pain and the masked man intentionally pressed his weight down._

 _"Stay down and listen," one of Tony's brothers said._

 _Bryce just stared up at them in disbelief._

 _"Stay the fuck away from Hannah Baker," Tony's brother continued. "You don't talk to her. You don't look at her. You see her coming, you turn around and walk away. We hear different, you're gonna have a serious problem. You got that, rich boy?"_

 _Bryce stared at them for a moment before a smirk formed over his face._

 _"Fuck you," he said dismissively._

 _Tony's brother chuckled slightly._

 _"You know, I was kinda hopin' you'd say that."_

 _Then he buried his fist in Bryce's face._

 _Tony's two other brothers quickly joined in, punching and kicking Bryce, reducing him to a bloody form in a fetal position on the ground._

 _Tony held back for a moment before the memories of what he'd heard on Hannah's tapes flashed through his brain. His anger boiling, Tony stepped forward, raised his foot and brought it down on Bryce's arm, causing Bryce to cry out in pain…_

* * *

"That was you?" Hannah asked, staring at Tony in disbelief. Half the school had been talking about what happened to Bryce, so she couldn't help but overhear, but she hadn't given it much concern.

"Yeah," Tony said with a sigh. "It actually felt pretty good at the time. Wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realized how dumb that was. I just hope to God there isn't any blowback."

Hannah looked down in thought for a moment, then smiled at Tony, slightly.

"So… we've both done stupid shit," she said.

"Yeah," Tony replied. "And it seems to be going around."

The car pulled to a stop in front of a house. It took a moment for Hannah to recognize it, and she turned to Tony.

"Seriously, Tony?" Hannah asked in shock and anger.

"What? I didn't talk about him," Tony said, shrugging innocently.

Hannah continued glaring at him until Tony gave her a serious look.

"Okay, you know what?" he said. "You wanted to talk to everyone on the tapes. Well, one of them lives right here. Now are you gonna get out and talk to him, or are we gonna sit here all night?"

Tony switched off the engine.

Hannah stared for a few more moments, then sighed, got out, and walked up to the front door.

She took a breath as she rang the doorbell, finally letting it out when Clay answered. His eyes widened as he saw her.

"Hey," he said, surprised.

"Hey," she replied, tentatively. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah," Clay said quickly, opening the door for Hannah to come in. "My uh…my parents are visiting with some friends from out of town, so they're pretty much gone all afternoon."

Hannah looked back Tony, who gave her an approving nod before driving off.

"So," she said to Clay. "What have you… got going on today?" Hannah's efforts at small talk weren't very good.

"Well, I'm still suspended," Clay said with a shrug. "So, not a whole lot. I went to that drug thing like I was supposed to, and my parents got me doing some housework, since I have the time." He gesture to a laundry basket of clean clothes sitting on the floor. "Actually, I was just bringing some laundry upstairs."

"Okay," Hannah said with a hint of a smile, not sure what else to say.

"Okay…so…" Clay trailed off awkwardly, before picking up the basket of clothes and heading upstairs, with Hannah behind him. Hannah's nerves grew slightly as she realized she was following Clay into his bedroom.

It looked exactly she would've expected: slightly messy, and decorated with paraphernalia from the various bands, movies, and games he'd talked about with her at the Crestmont over the past year. Hannah couldn't help but smile slightly. The smile gave way to a slight chuckle as she noticed a bike helmet resting in the corner. Clay watched in nervous silence for a few moments as Hannah inspected his room, the fact of her being in it finally hitting him. He finally sat down on his bed and after a moment she joined him.

A pained look formed on his face, however, as he remembered something.

"Look, Hannah, what I said the other day…" he started.

"I don't care about that," she interrupted.

"You don't?" he asked, confused.

"Look, I…" Hannah started before pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I had a really weird day. I ended up doing some things I really shouldn't have done—"

"To Courtney and Tyler," Clay interrupted, nodding. "Yeah, I heard."

"How?"

"People talk," Clay said, holding up his phone.

"Of course they do," Hannah said, rolling her eyes. After all the rumors passed around school about her, she should've known. Hannah sighed. "I was mad all day. I thought I'd feel better if I confronted some people, and when they tried to avoid me, I ended up getting even angrier… and I didn't end up taking it too well."

"Sorry," Clay said, nodding.

"Well," she said, looking down, then up at Clay again. "That's my excuse. What was yours?"

"What?"

"Come on, Clay," Hannah continued. "I know you said you trying to help, getting that recording of Bryce, but taking that picture of Tyler, messing with Courtney, keying Zach's car? What was with all that stuff you were doing while I was away?"

"You know what?" Clay shifted uncomfortably. "Can we maybe not talk about that right now?"

"What, why not?" Hannah asked again, a bit more defensively.

"I just don't like thinking about those couple of weeks, okay?" Clay replied, sounding defensive himself.

"Oh, you don't, do you?" Hannah repeated sarcastically. "Well, they weren't exactly fun for me either. But everybody wants me to talk about everything that happened, so why the fuck can't you, Clay?"

"Fine, you wanna know why I did all that shit?" Clay snapped, standing up.

"Yes, I do!"

 _"Because they fucking killed you!"_

Hannah sat there, stunned into silence.

"Y-Your parents sent you off to God knows where, and then one day, out of the blue, these tapes show up on my doorstep, and I hear everything that everybody did to you that made you want to do that… Justin, Alex, Courtney, and goddamn, fucking Bryce… and me too!" Clay began to raise his voice, struggling to get the words out. "I tried to tell myself that you'd get better and I could make it right, but the truth is I didn't know that. I didn't know if you'd get better, I didn't know if you'd come back, I didn't know if I'd ever see you again! And the thought of everyone else just going on with their lives made me sick! So yeah, I lashed out a bit. I was angry, and I was scared… We all let you down and I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to do!" Clay's voice finally broke as tears streamed down his face.

Hannah, with tears in her own eyes, finally stood up. She pressed her forehead against Clay's and placed her hands on the sides of his head.

"You saved me," she whispered.

"No," he said weakly, shaking his head.

"You saved me," she whispered again, adamantly, as her own tears began to fall.

The two teenagers hugged each other tightly, crying on each other's shoulders.

* * *

Tyler looked around the empty hallways. Except for a few kids in the library or in extracurricular groups, everyone else had gone home.

After what had happened that day, it was a welcome relief. Tyler had made a point of staying out of sight in the photography room until they'd all left. He'd had some bad days the past few weeks, but this was the worst by far.

He knew Hannah had wanted to have it out with whoever was on those tapes, but between her making everyone throw rocks at his window and Clay sending that photo out, as far as Tyler was concerned, that made them even. Apparently, Hannah hadn't seen it that way. When he'd tried to avoid her, she just followed him, mocking him, and finally humiliating him in front of the whole school. People had laughed at him for the rest of the day. Tomorrow would probably be the same. So would the day after.

Tyler hated Hannah. He hated them all. He was sick of being laughed at.

"Hey," he heard a voice say. He assumed it was someone about to mock him, until he looked up and saw Bryce Walker coming towards him. Tyler couldn't help but be shocked. He'd heard about him getting jumped. For a moment, Tyler assumed Bryce was talking to someone else, but there was no one else around.

"Wh… what do you want, Bryce?" Tyler asked warily.

"I just wanna talk," Bryce said, putting up his one good hand. "I just wanna ask you something."

Tyler looked at Bryce suspiciously.

* * *

Lying on his bed, Clay let out a sigh. Hannah, her head resting on his chest, felt it rise and fall, her hands gripping his shoulders. Clay's eyes had rid themselves of tears, but Hannah's hadn't.

"I'm sorry I put you through that," she said softly.

"I just want you to be okay," Clay said, stroking her hair.

Hannah lifted her head and looked at Clay, seeing concern…and something else.

 ** _I'll never forget what I saw at that moment, looking into Clay's eyes._**

 ** _He loved me. This nerdy, awkward, funny, sweet, perfect boy… loved me._**

After staring at him for another moment that seemed to last forever, she finally leaned in and kissed him. He quickly began kissing her back. The two of them continued this until it started to grow more heated, with the two of them running their hands over each other, and Clay kissing along the side of her neck.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.

"Are you… are you sure this is okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Hannah gave Clay a smile.

"I'm sure," she said.

 ** _That wasn't entirely true. I wasn't sure, or rather I wasn't sure if I was sure. I'd talked with the doctors a bit about what happened, but I didn't know if that made a difference. I knew I_** **wanted _it to be okay this time._**

The two of them resumed, even more passionately this time. They began removing clothes and letting their hands roam over more of more of each other…

 ** _More than anything, I wanted it to be okay this time. I remember thinking, please,_ please, _let it be okay this time._**

Clay continued kissing Hannah, who leaned her head back as the feelings came over her…

 ** _But it wasn't okay._**

Hannah inhaled sharply…

 ** _It was perfect._**

* * *

It was after dark by the time Clay had walked Hannah to her parents' store. The two had talked the whole way about anything they could think of, from Hannah telling Clay about what Tony had done, to Clay talking about finally introducing her to his parents.

Hannah, who was wearing Clay's hoodie, circled her arms around herself and gave the sleeves a sniff, causing Clay to smile. He'd let her wear it after she complained about the cold and that her denim jacket wasn't very warm, but he suspected that wasn't why she'd wanted it.

Slipping her hand back into his, she gave him a wistful look.

"God, I'm gonna be in so much trouble," she said. "My parents are probably freaking already."

"Sorry," Clay said, looking a bit sheepish.

"Worth it," she said, smiling and squeezing his hand.

They made it another block before Hannah gave him a serious look.

"I think I'm gonna have to tell them about the tapes," she said. "Can't really duck this anymore."

"Wow," Clay said with a sigh. "Shit's gonna hit the fan."

"I know," she replied, shaking her head. "They're talking about suing the school, maybe making me transfer again."

Clay looked down. He hated the thought of not seeing Hannah every day. Yet, as he looked down at their interlocked hands, his confidence grew.

"We'll… we'll figure that out," he said. "I'm not giving up on this that easy."

Hannah smiled. Clay paused, looking thoughtful.

"Besides," he continued. "Maybe…maybe it's not all bad if people found out. I mean everything that's gone on at school…" Clay shrugged. "Honestly… it has to get better… the way we treat each other, look out for each other. It has to get better somehow."

Hannah's smile grew wider.

"You've gotten pretty wise, Helmet."

"I've always been wise," Clay said, giving her a playful smirk. "I just didn't want to intimidate you."

Hannah laughed, and by the time she'd stopped laughing, they were at the front window of her parents' store. Clay looked at her.

"Actually, if I was wise, there's something I would've said to you a long time ago."

"What's that?" she asked, biting her lip nervously, and leaning in closer.

"I lo—"

Clay's words were cut short by the loud tapping on the glass that pulled them both out of the moment. Hannah turned to see her mother on the other side of the window, tapping her wrist impatiently and gesturing with her head for Hannah to come inside already.

Hannah looked at Clay with a smile and a shrug.

"To be continued," she said.

"Okay," he said, shrugging himself and starting to back away. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Helmet," she said, waving, and reaching out to him, despite him already being several feet away. She sighed and headed into the store.

Her parents were the only ones there. Her father was looking at her from behind the pharmacy counter, while her mother walked over to her, looking angry.

"You were supposed to come here right after school," Andy said, shaking his head. "We left you four messages."

"I know, I'm sorry," Hannah said, actually feeling contrite. "I was with Clay."

"Yeah, I could see that," Olivia said, looking skeptical. "So does this mean Clay's not an idiot?"

"Maybe not," Hannah said, blushing.

"Is that why you're still wearing his hoodie?" Andy asked with a slight knowing smile.

Hannah blushed even further, grabbing at the sleeves. Olivia tried to suppress a smile of her own at this.

"Well, we still didn't know where you were," she said, regaining her seriousness. "We can talk about the consequences of that when we get home. And like I said before, there's a lot of things we're gonna talk about when we get home. And we're not gonna be done until we get some answers."

"Okay," Hannah said calmly, nodding her head.

Olivia was taken aback slightly by this agreeable response, but nodded.

"Okay," she replied, a bit more softly. "Now, it's a little cool out for Clay to being walking home without his hoodie, so why don't you text him to come back and get it, and then take out the garbage?"

Hannah smiled and went to pick up the garbage bag.

* * *

A few minutes later, Hannah was standing out in front of the store, waiting for Clay, his hoodie wrapped up in her hands. She looked in the direction Clay had left in, but didn't see anyone coming. Still, she had a smile on her face.

 ** _I should've been filled with dread. I was about to tell my parents everything, and upend my life even more than it already had been. But for some reason, I wasn't worried._**

She took a deep breath and let it out.

 ** _At that moment, I felt like, no matter what came next, everything was going to be okay._**

Out of nowhere, a large hand clamped over Hannah's mouth, shoved her against the wall of the neighboring store, out of sight of her parents, and pinning her in place.

 ** _I was wrong._**

Hannah's terrified eyes widened as she found herself staring at what appeared to be the face of Bryce Walker. He was barely recognizable, covered in cuts and bruises, with one eye practically swollen shut. His left arm was in a sling, but he was able to hold Hannah in place with the other. The smell of booze on him was almost overpowering.

It was only then that she noticed the gun being shoved in her face. She didn't dare scream.

"You think that's funny?" Bryce asked, with a dull menace to his voice. "Send those goons after me? Ruin my fucking life, huh?"

Whether from desperation or a surge of adrenaline, Hannah managed to aim her knee and bury it directly in Bryce's groin.

Bryce cried out in pain and recoiled, freeing her, but immediately swung his good arm around, and struck her with the gun, knocking her to the ground. Breathing through his teeth, and glaring viciously at Hannah, Bryce pointed the gun at her.

Shaking off the blow to her face, Hannah came to her senses just as she saw it.

"You little bitch," he hissed.

 _"Hannah!"_

The voice caused a flicker of recognition in Hannah, just as she saw someone enter her field of vision, tackling a startled Bryce to the ground.

Then the gun went off.

The noise wasn't anything like she'd heard in TV shows or movies. It was much louder. Hannah's hands instinctively went to her ears.

Bryce managed to get to his feet, apparently disoriented from either the noise or his own drunkenness. Without even bothering to pick up the gun he'd dropped, Bryce backed away and ran off into the night.

It was only then that Hannah recognized who was lying in the street in front of her, not moving.

Hannah wasn't sure if she screamed. She couldn't hear over the ringing in her ears. She clambered over to his still form and said his name.

"Clay?" she said on the verge of panic. "Clay?"

Andy and Olivia emerged from the store, stopping in shock when they saw. Hannah still couldn't hear, but her mother yelled something to her father, who ran back inside. Olivia knelt down over Clay, apparently asking her daughter what happened. Hannah only grabbed Clay's hand and cried.

Olivia quickly grabbed Hannah's fallen denim jacket, pressing it against the dark cloud growing over Clay's chest. She checked his pulse while Hannah could only hold Clay's hand to her face and rock back and forth.

 ** _After everything that happened to me, I couldn't imagine anything being worse. Turns out I was wrong about that too._**

 ** _The worst had finally come._**


	8. Chapter 8: Life After Death

**_Clay was dead._**

 ** _By the next morning, everyone knew. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised by that point. I knew how fast words spread._**

Standing in the gym, Zach stared open-mouthed at the message on his phone. He sat down on the bleachers, feeling slightly angry. This was some sick joke. It had to be. Zach turned to see Alex standing in the doorway.

 _His dad's a cop,_ Zach thought. _If something happened, Alex would've heard about it. This is all bullshit. It's gotta be._

Alex had a depressed look on his face, however. One that gave Zack a sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Sitting on the outside bench, Jessica put her phone down. For the second time in less than a week, she felt like she'd punched in the stomach. She barely noticed Sheri walking up to her until she sat down next to her. Jessica turned to Sheri and finally noticed she was crying. Still in shock, Jessica put her arm around her, but stared off into the distance.

* * *

Her phone in hand, Courtney rushed into the library and up to Marcus, who had his own phone out. The two of them looked at each other uneasily.

* * *

Tyler was working in the dark room, when the message came over his phone. His eyes widened for a moment. From there he went to nervousness, wondering if telling Bryce about that message board would get back to him. Then he remembered the picture Clay had sent out, and smirked slightly.

* * *

 ** _Not that I was there to see any of it._**

Hannah lay silently in her bed, where she hadn't moved from, apart from the occasional bathroom break, for days. She was holding Clay's hoodie, the one he'd been coming back to get, and stared off into nothing. Her nightstand and the floor were covered with barely-touched plates of food her parents had brought her. Their attempt to get her to move had accomplished nothing.

Every once in a while, one or both of them would come in to try and talk to her. Hannah barely acknowledged them.

Occasionally, her mind drifted back to that perfect moment together, and lying with Clay in his bed afterwards.

 _"Holy shit," he'd said, breathing heavily, with a stunned look on his face, eliciting a laugh from Hannah._

 _The two of them had just looked at each other in amazement. Both of them wanted to tell the other how they felt, yet both were at a loss for words._

She wished she'd told him.

She didn't cry, something that might've surprised her, had she noticed. She didn't do anything but lie there.

Hannah didn't even check her phone, making it hard to keep track of time. She wasn't sure how much of it had passed when her father came in, wearing a dark suit, and tentatively sat on the bed and squeezed her foot.

"Hey," Andy said, gently. "The, uh, the funeral's in a couple of hours. You still have time to get dressed."

Hannah said nothing.

"It... might help, you know?" he continued. "To say goodbye."

 ** _Say goodbye? Why in God's name would I want to do that?_**

"Hannah," her mother said, standing in the doorway, wearing a black dress. "I really think it might help if you went."

Hannah lifted her head slightly and looked warily at her mother, then her father, who both gave her a supportive smile.

* * *

Alex looked around at the service. It was outdoors on a sunny day. A large photo of Clay had been placed next to the podium. He frowned at the sight of the roses, remembering something Hannah had once said about them being a cliché. The crowd wasn't nearly as large as the one at Jeff's funeral. But then Clay had always been kind of invisible, something Alex certainly understood.

 _I wonder how many people would show up if this were my funeral,_ he thought.

* * *

Jessica sat next to Sheri, who was still wiping her tears. Jessica looked up at the picture of Clay and felt her own eyes welling up. She wasn't sure why. Clay was nice enough, but the two of them hadn't been that close.

As she sat with her feelings for a few moments, she realized she wasn't sad so much as angry. At Bryce? Of course, but not just him. She found herself thinking about Justin and Hannah, as well.

 _If either one of them had said or done something at the party, Clay would still be alive,_ she thought bitterly.

Still, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy, thinking about how Hannah must have been feeling at the moment.

That feeling slipped away as Jessica saw who was walking up to speak. Her eyes widened.

* * *

Alex watched stunned as she approached the podium. He didn't think she'd show up here, much less speak. He couldn't imagine what she would possibly say.

* * *

"Thank you," Courtney Crimsen said with a formal-looking smile as she stood in front of the other attendants. "Clay Jensen was truly one of Liberty's best and brightest. He had so many friends at school, and I'm proud to have counted myself as one of them."

"Are you kidding me?" a faint voice in the back row asked under their breath.

A few students rolled their eyes as Courtney continued with a sincere-sounding, but long-winded speech about Clay's short life, inserting herself into the speech more than once. Alex noticed Skye, sitting in the back row, finally get up and walk away in disgust as Courtney continued to describe her friendship with Clay.

Alex just frowned and shook his head.

 ** _I didn't go to the funeral. Sounds like it was just as well I didn't._**

* * *

Zach walked up to Alex, who seemed to be staring off at the graves throughout the cemetery.

"You okay, man?" Zach asked uneasily.

"Fucking Bryce," Alex said softly, causing Zach to lower his head for a moment and sigh.

"So what's gonna happen to him?" Zach finally said after a moment.

"I overheard my dad talking about it," Alex said. "He said a couple of witnesses and an ATM camera caught him running away. Plus he left the gun behind. Apparently his expensive lawyer's trying to negotiate some plea deal."

"So he's definitely going to jail?" Zach asked, not sure how to feel.

"He should get the fucking chair for what he did," Alex said, turning to Zach. "And not just for what he did to Clay."

Zach said nothing.

* * *

"Did you see Hannah?" Marcus asked, standing by Clay's portrait and looking around nervously as the crowd began to disperse.

"No," Courtney replied uneasily. "I saw her parents, but I guess she didn't want to come."

"Well, we would've heard something if she said anything by now, but she's gotta come back to school at some point," Marcus sighed. "We need to make sure Hannah keeps quiet when she does. Maybe we should talk to Tony. She'd probably listen to him."

Courtney looked over at Tony, still sitting quietly in his chair, looking down at his feet. A young man sitting next to him had his arm around Tony, apparently attempting to comfort him.

"Maybe, but I'm not sure he'd listen to us," she said.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Alex asked, approaching them, attracting the attention of Jessica and Zach. "Are you seriously talking about the tapes? _Here?_ "

"Look, Alex, we're all sorry about Clay," Courtney said, putting up her hands and trying to keep Alex calm. "But letting the tapes get out isn't going to bring him back. It'll just make things worse."

"Will it?" Alex asked sarcastically as Jessica and Zach walked up to him. "I'm not so sure about that. I mean, if the tapes got out before, maybe people would've found out what Bryce did and Clay would still be alive. If Hannah had told people what happened to her, maybe she wouldn't have tried to kill herself. But no, all we ever cared about was our fucking reputations. Clay was the only one who didn't hurt Hannah. He was the only one who cared about her more than what everyone else thought of him, and now he's dead!

"Take it easy, man," Zach said, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder, which Alex quickly brushed off.

"And nothing's changed apparently," Alex continued. "First Jeff, then Hannah, now Clay. How many people have to die or almost die before we wake up? Who's gonna be next? You? Me?"

None of them answered. Alex just threw up his hands and stormed off. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Marcus and Courtney walked away as well.

* * *

Tony finally worked up the strength to get up from his chair. He was dreading every move he made, but knew he needed to talk to Clay's family. They deserved that much.

"Tony?"

Tony turned to see Olivia Baker looking at him. Her eyes had sympathy, but a hint of suspicion as well.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said, giving him a brief hug. "I know you and Clay were close."

Tony nodded solemnly, then gestured to the tall, young man standing next to him.

"This is... my friend, Brad."

Brad shook Olivia's hand, then looked back at Tony, suddenly feeling like a third wheel.

"I... I think I'll go sign the condolence book," Brad said, before walking away.

Tony and Olivia looked at each other for a moment, the silence getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Is Hannah doing any better?" Tony finally asked. "I tried calling a few times, but she never answered."

"No, Tony, she's not," Olivia said with a frown. "She barely says anything, she barely eats, she doesn't even get out of bed most of the time."

"I'm sorry," Tony said, softly. "If there's anything I can do..."

"Is there?" Olivia asked, looking at Tony intently, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Is there anything you can tell us? That we don't know?"

Tony lowered his head, too ashamed to look at her any longer.

* * *

An hour later, Tony was leaning against his Mustang, parked on a hill, looking out over the town. Brad looked at him, something clearly weighing on his mind.

"You always introduce me as your friend," Brad said.

Tony looked at Brad and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, 'boyfriend' is so-"

"Gay?" Brad finished.

"That's not what I was gonna say," Tony said quickly. "It's just... Ryan always used to say, 'This is Tony, my boyfriend', like I was some sort of possession."

"I get it," Brad said, sighing and looking out at the town for a moment. "But I'm not Ryan."

"I know."

"I'm not gonna judge you," Brad said gently. "But you have to tell me what's going on, or I can't be your friend or boyfriend or anything."

Tony looked at Brad for a moment. He hadn't talked about this with anyone. Not Hannah, not his brothers. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how much _he_ needed to talk about it with someone. Tony took a deep breath.

"Clay's death was my fault," he finally said.

"How?" Brad asked, clearly confused.

"I have a friend. Her name is Hannah. Some people hurt her. One of them hurt her so bad that she tried to kill herself. My brothers and I tried to get him to stay away from her, but it just pissed him off. He went after her, and Clay, my other friend, got killed protecting her," Tony shook his head, tears forming in his eyes.

"That wasn't your fault," Brad said, after a moment, still looking surprised.

"Hannah loved Clay," Tony said, his voice beginning to break. "And he loved her. And he got killed because of something I did. I kept her secrets from her parents about why she did what she did, because that's what she wanted me to do, but I don't... I don't think I did the right thing. Her parents are hurting. All I want to do is help her, and I feel like everything I do just ends up causing more pain. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Tony took a shaking breath. "I just... I just wanna take care of Hannah, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Come here," Brad whispered, pulling Tony into a hug.

"I gotta make this right," Tony whispered between tears.

* * *

 ** _After a few days, Dr. Barnes convinced my parents to try and get me to go back to school. I think he used the words "back to normalcy"._**

 ** _I don't think I was ready to go back, though. And apparently, neither was the school._**

Hannah took a deep breath as she walked through the hallway, trying to ignore the stares. People had stared at her before; after Justin took that picture, after the list was passed around. This was different however. It felt like so many different things at once. Pity, discomfort, maybe even blame for what happened. Hannah tried to tune it out and headed for her locker.

As she did, she couldn't help but notice another locker, just around the corner. It was covered in notes, flowers, other decorations, and a picture.

A picture of him.

Turning away, Hannah opened her locker and leaned into it, absentmindedly putting away books and papers, and taking a moment not have to look at the world.

 ** _Every once in a while, though, someone just_** **had _to say it._**

"Hannah?" a familiar voice behind her asked gently.

Hannah turned around and looked him, not reacting.

"Hannah," Zach repeated awkwardly. "I... I just wanted to say... I'm really sorry... about Clay."

Hannah said nothing. She barely moved.

"Listen, I... I know I've been kind of a dick to you, taking those notes, and going off on you in the stairwell when you tried to talk to me about it," Zach continued nervously. "I just wanted you to know I'm really sorry about that too."

Hannah was looking in Zach's direction, but seemed to stare right through him. After a moment, she simply shrugged.

"It's fine, Zach," she said, before closing her locker and walking away.

* * *

Sitting in the bathroom stall, Hannah took a deep breath and sighed. She'd been coming in here a lot lately, taking what little refuge from the world she could get.

After a moment, she heard the sound of the door swinging open and two girls walking in.

"It's so fucked up," one girl said. "I had English with him last year. I think I talked to him, like twice."

"I dunno," the other girl said. "I think it's kinda romantic. Taking a bullet for her and dying in her arms like that."

Hannah felt sick.

"Scott would never something like that for me," the first girl said, sighing.

"No, he wouldn't", the second girl added. "Actually, I didn't even know they were together. I thought he was gay."

"Maybe he was, and she'd just run out of straight guys," the first girl whispered. "I mean it's Hannah Baker."

The two girls giggled. Hannah covered her mouth and resisted the urge to pound on the stall door.

"Oh my God, you're terrible," the second girl said, still laughing. "Hey, let's get a picture by his locker before we go back."

"Aw, that's so nice!"

"Hashtag 'Remember Clay'."

The two girls checked themselves in the mirror for a moment, then walked out, still giggling.

The second the door closed behind them, Hannah knelt on the floor, leaned over the toilet, and threw up.

* * *

A few more days had passed. Hannah looked at her feet as she walked through the empty hallway to get a book she'd forgotten from her locker.

 ** _Every day seemed to bring some new torment._**

Hearing some noise, Hannah looked up to see three adults standing by Clay's locker.

One was Mr. Porter. The other two were a bearded man and a blond woman. Hannah hadn't seen them before, but knew exactly who they were.

 ** _But the worst was the day they showed up._**

"You're... you're sure this is all of it?" Lainie Jensen asked, fighting through tears as her husband rubbed her back.

"Uh, yeah," Mr. Porter said, awkwardly. "Clay was on the Honor Board and tutored students occasionally. We'll just need the textbooks. We can go through the rest in my office, if you like."

"Yeah... yeah, sure," Matt Jensen, wearily.

Helping them gather the contents of the locker, Mr. Porter gestured in the direction of his office. Matt looked at Lainie, who remained still.

"I'll just be a minute," she said softly, her voice shaking. Matt was about to say something when she put up her hand. "It's fine. I just need a minute."

Matt and Mr. Porter looked at each other uneasily, then nodded and headed off towards the office.

Hannah stood there quietly and stared as Clay's mother pulled a loose piece of paper out of a notebook. Even from several feet away, Hannah could make out the cartoon bunny on the paper.

Lainie placed a hand on the row of lockers, then rested her head against them. Hannah could hear her crying softly, as Hannah's own breathing grew heavier.

 ** _I wanted to tell her I was sorry, that it was my fault. I wanted to tell her how much Clay meant to me. I wanted to tell her something... anything._**

Feeling unable to move for a few agonizing moments, Hannah turned around and walked away.

* * *

 ** _The days just seemed to blend together. It felt like there was no end in sight..._**

Walking out of the back room of the store, Hannah absentmindedly carried an armful of items to restock the shelves. As she reached them, she lost her grip on several of them, causing most of them to fall to the floor, some of them sliding under the shelves.

"Shit!" Hannah whispered quietly to herself in frustration.

Crouching down on the floor, she looked under the shelves, and began pulling things out, when something else caught her eye.

 ** _That's when I saw it._**

She found a small package with some sharp-looking metal objects inside.

 ** _My parents had gotten rid of all the razor blades in the store...for obvious reasons. I guess they missed one._**

Hannah stared at the package, finding it oddly reassuring, like an old friend.

 ** _It felt like a sign... that I should finish what I'd tried to do weeks earlier. If I'd done it, Clay would still be alive._**

 ** _No tapes this time. No one would wonder why. The reason was obvious. My parents wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. It would just be over._**

Hannah hid the package, stood up and looked at her parents, standing behind the counter, going over receipts. She could slip out before they noticed. She could hurry home, get in the bathtub, and...

"Hannah?"

Jolted out of her thoughts, she quickly stuffed the package into her jacket pocket and turned around to see Tony standing nervously in the doorway.

"Tony, hi," Olivia said, uneasily.

"Sorry to bother you," Tony said, giving Hannah's parents a polite nod. "I just hadn't heard from you in a while. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine," Hannah said, suddenly feeling a bit annoyed.

"Uh, well, in that case, I just gave the Mustang a tune up and I was giving her a test drive," Tony said, gesturing to the car parked outside. "Wanna join me? I could use some company."

"Honey, why don't you go with Tony? It'd be good for you to get out for a bit," her mother said, before leaning in close to her husband. "I've got that... errand to run anyway."

Hannah looked at her parents, then Tony. This was the last thing she wanted right now, but she couldn't see a way out of it without them getting suspicious.

"Yeah, okay, fine. Let's go," she finally said, grabbing her bag from behind the counter and walking out with Tony.

* * *

The drive was silent at first, painfully so. Tony made a few awkward attempts to start a conversation. Hannah responded as little as possible, just staring out the window at nothing in particular. Finally, Tony had to say what was on his mind.

"Okay, listen, I gotta say this. If you need to blame someone other than Bryce, then blame me, all right? Not you, me. You can hate me, you can tell me you never wanna see me again. Hell, you can hit me if you want and tell everyone at school I got beat up by a girl. Whatever you gotta do. But was not your fault, all right? None of this was your fault."

If Hannah heard him, she didn't acknowledge him. Instead something sitting in the back seat reflected in the rear view mirror caught her eye. A familiar box. She turned around and looked at it. Tony looked at her and sighed.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I still got 'em."

Hannah continued looking at the box of tapes for a moment, then reached back and pulled them into her lap. She then picked up the walkman and headphones sitting between the seat.

"What are you doing with those?" Tony asked, frowning, as Hannah leafed through the tapes.

"They're my tapes," Hannah said softly, not even looking at Tony. "I can do what I want with them."

"You already know what's on them," Tony said, shaking his head. "What, are you just trying to punish yourself by reliving every bad memory?"

 ** _That's exactly what I was doing. That... and I wanted to remind myself why I was done trying._**

Hannah said nothing, but pressed play. Tony rolled his eyes.

" _Hey, it's Hannah, Hannah Baker..._ " the voice on the tape started through the headphones.

"Come on," he said, reaching over. "Who's that gonna help?"

Hannah gripped the walkman defensively. Clearly, she wasn't up for debate.

"All right, fine," he said, sighing. "If you're gonna do this, at least do it on a full stomach, okay? My treat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm serious. Eating something'll do you some good. My mother used to say ' _primero comemos, entonces la demàs._ ' That means 'first we eat, then we do everything else."

Hannah sat there and sighed. She didn't argue as Tony turned the car around a corner.

* * *

Carrying the pan of food, Olivia knocked on the door, which was open a crack.

"Hello?" she said, leaning in. "It's Olivia Baker."

For a moment, Olivia heard nothing and considered coming back later. Then Lainie Jensen finally emerged from the living room, barely acknowledging Olivia. Her blond hair was tied back in a simple ponytail. Her eyes were red. She looked as though she hadn't slept in days.

"Hi," Olivia said gently, holding up the pan. "I'm so sorry to bother you. I just brought some dinner, if that's okay."

"Uh... thank you," Lainie whispered, giving a distracted smile, before looking back at the living room, which was filled with boxes. "I was just going through some things... what to keep, what to..." she trailed off and shook her head as she walked towards the kitchen, absentmindedly, with Olivia. "I was gonna do this with my husband... but he's working late. He's... been doing that a lot lately."

"Is there anything I can help with?" Olivia asked, placing the pan down on the counter.

Lainie didn't answer but instead turned and headed back to the living room. Unsure of what to do, Olivia simply followed her.

"I brought it all down here," Lainie said, kneeling down next to the stacks of boxes, her voice shaking slightly. "I just can't stay in his room for very long, or I..." Lainie took a deep breath and let it out. Olivia touched her arm gently.

"Lainie, I am so sorry," Olivia said. "If there's anything I can-"

"How is Hannah?" Lainie said, suddenly looking at Olivia with concern on her face.

Olivia hesitated. She came here to offer this woman support, not unload her own worries onto her. Still, lying to her didn't feel right either.

"I don't know, really," Olivia finally said. "She just doesn't seem to want to open up. She's finally going back to school, but I know she's been taking it really hard. Clay... really meant a lot to her," Olivia gave Lainie a slight smile. "He seemed like a good kid,"

"He was a very good kid." Lainie replied, nodding quickly. "He was already looking at colleges. Actually, for some reason, out of the blue, he started asking about colleges in New York. I- I don't know why."

 _Hannah wants to go to New York,_ Olivia thought to herself.

When Olivia looked up, Lainie was looking at a photo of her with her arm around Clay, who was wearing a suit, and smiling politely.

"When was that?" Olivia asked.

"It was that winter formal they had last year," Lainie answered softly, never taking her eyes off the photo. "He said something about having to go because he lost a bet."

Olivia said nothing.

"He was supposed to go to his prom," Lainie said, frowning at the photo, suddenly looking angry. "He was supposed to graduate, and go to college, New York or whatever he wanted, and get marr—" Her voice broke as tears began to fall. Lainie dropped the photo and put a hand to her face.

Olivia instinctively hugged the crying woman. After a moment, however, she realized her thoughts were somewhere else.

* * *

There were barely any people in Monet's at this hour. Just as well, as far as Hannah was concerned. Less chance of running into anyone else from school, like Alex or Jessica, not that Jessica would want to have anything to do with her.

Sitting at the table, Hannah stared at the half-eaten sandwich on the plate in front of her. She'd eaten just enough to get Tony off her case. Her focus was on the voice coming through the headphones. Tony, obviously taking his own advice, has already finished his meal and was dabbing his mouth with his napkin.

"Not quite up there with my mom's but pretty good," Tony said, smiling slightly.

Hannah finally looked up at him, looking slightly annoyed.

"Are you gonna keep trying to make small talk?" she asked.

"It's kind of my thing," Tony said, looking a bit sheepish. "Which tape are you on now?"

"Marcus'."

"Tell you what, since you're obviously finished, I'll just use the bathroom quick, and we can go."

Hannah nodded as Tony stood up and walked away. A moment later someone approach the table. A girl with tattoos and piercings.

A girl Hannah had been avoiding eye contact with ever since they walked in.

"You done with that?" Skye asked.

"Yeah," Hannah said, barely audible.

"You want it boxed up?"

Hannah shook her head.

Skye shrugged and leaned over to clear the table. As she did, Hannah couldn't help but notice some of Skye's tattoos. She and Kat used to joke about getting one, just to freak out their parents, but they'd never been serious. One on Skye's neck caught Hannah's eye in particular. It looked like some kind of blue lizard.

"It's an alligator," Skye said. "Not a lizard."

"What?" Hannah said, jolted out of her thoughts.

"The tattoo," Skye said, sounding a bit irritable. "It's a blue alligator. You seriously think I don't notice people staring?"

"Sorry," Hannah said simply.

"I figured you probably thought it was a lizard," Skye continued, her tone slightly condescending. "That's what Clay thought when he first saw it. I mean you two were so in sync with each other, right? You even have the same retro tech," Skye added, pointing to the headphones

"You two were friends," Hannah said, lowering her head.

"Yeah, a long time ago," Skye said, glaring slightly. "In junior high, back before he started working at that stupid movie theater and hanging out with you."

Hannah sat there, silent.

"Can I ask you something?" Skye said, sitting down in the chair across from Hannah. "Did you write that note in class last year about not wanting to feel anything? I hadn't thought about it in a while, but then you disappeared for a couple of weeks. I mean I'm not the gossip type, but people were saying you tried to kill yourself or something."

Hannah still said nothing. Skye scoffed.

"Wow, Clay was an even bigger idiot than I thought."

Hannah finally looked up at her in shock, taking off the headphones.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Skye said sarcastically. "What do you call someone who gets themselves killed saving someone who doesn't even wanna live? Unless, of course, you were making the whole thing up, like a lot of people said, which pretty shitty too," Skye leaned closer. "So which is it, Hannah?"

"What do you want from me?" Hannah asked softly.

"I don't know," Skye said with a shrug. "Maybe I'm just sick of pretty girls like you acting like you're the only one with problems. Maybe I'm just trying to figure out who you are, who Clay died for, whether you're actually worthy of a sacrifice like that," Skye angrily brushed away a tear that was threatening to fall.

Unable to bear the other girl's stare, Hannah used what little resolve she had to get up from the table and step away.

"I'm not," Hannah said, her voice breaking slightly. "Nobody is."

She walked past the returning Tony and out the door.

 ** _There was only one tape I wanted to listen to after that._**

* * *

"I'm sorry about that," Tony said, as Hannah stared out the car window. "She's probably just dealing with her own shit."

"It's fine," Hannah lied.

"Don't do that, all right?" Tony said. "Don't say you're okay or things are fine when they're not."

Hannah gave Tony an annoyed look.

"Okay," Tony said, nodding with approval. "You wanna be angry? At me, at Skye, at Bryce, even Clay? Then be angry."

Hannah kept looking at Tony for a moment, before the anger faded away and she looked back down at the box of tapes in her lap. Tony sighed in disappointment.

"Were you there when Clay listened to the tapes?" Hannah finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

"A bit," Tony answered, unsure where she was going with this.

"What about when he heard his tape?"

"What do you want me to say, Hannah?" Tony asked, frowning at her. "That he took it pretty hard? That he cried? You want me to tell you all this so you can torture yourself because you think that's what you deserve?"

"You know what?" she said, rolling her eyes. "Just let me out."

"I'm not gonna leave you alone," Tony said firmly. "I will let you get some air. I know a place."

Hannah looked at Tony suspiciously.

* * *

Walking in the door, Olivia collapsed on the living room couch, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"Hey," Andy said, walking into the room with a smile. "You were over there a while."

"I ended up helping her go through some things," Olivia said with a shrug.

"Well that was nice of you."

"Andy, I feel like I just watched a movie of my worst nightmare," Olivia said, a sad look passing over her face. "I was watching pack her son's life away and dealing with the worst thing a parent could deal with and I kept thinking about what Hannah's going through," Olivia shrugged. "And I feel selfish, because the only reason I still have a child to worry about is because someone else lost theirs."

"That doesn't mean you don't care," Andy said, sitting down next to her.

"I don't know why he was on that list I found," Olivia said, shaking her head. "But I don't believe our daughter would be taking it this hard if he was a bad kid. Everything I saw over there said this was a good kid from a good family... the kind of kid you'd want your daughter to date. And he died protecting her. And I don't know what that's going to do to her. I mean, if she got to the point where she'd try to hurt herself before this happened..." Olivia trailed off.

Andy took his wife's hand.

"I don't even care about knowing why anymore," Olivia said, resting her head on Andy's shoulder as her eyes welled up. "I just want to know she's going to get through this."

* * *

The car pulling to a stop finally distracted Hannah from the tape she was listening to. It looked like some cliff-side road in the middle of nowhere. It was dark, and she couldn't see much, but for some reason, it reminded her of the mountain she'd climbed with Clay and Tony. She wondered if that was why Tony had stopped here.

She could almost picture herself yelling curses over the edge of the cliff while the two boys applauded, after they'd climbed to the top. It had only been a few weeks since then, but it felt like a lifetime had passed. In a way, it had.

"Can I just have a minute?" Hannah asked softly.

Tony hesitated.

"Can I please just have a minute with him?" she asked.

Looking at which tape she had in her hand, and understanding what she meant, Tony sighed.

"I'll be right here if you need me," he said, before stepping out of the car.

Hannah put the tape in and pressed play. She listened to the sound of her own voice narrating the story of her and Clay that night. She sighed and shook her head as she heard herself talk about how Clay didn't worry what other people thought, or how easy it had been for him to talk to her that night. None of that was true. She knew that now. He'd stumbled over his own words so many times when talking to her over the past year because he'd been so afraid of saying the wrong thing. In fact he'd almost left the party early because he was nervous about talking to her, before Jeff had made him stay.

She remembered the adorable way he'd talked to her about super powers, and how he said he'd make everyone else disappear. She remembered following him into Jessica's room and joking with him about her pet rocks. She remembered how he'd finally, _finally_ kissed her.

And she remembered how she'd ruined it.

She'd panicked and made him think he'd done something wrong when he'd done everything right.

For a while, after she came back, she'd thought she'd had a second chance with him, but things only ended up worse.

 ** _Up until that night, everything that happened I could blame on someone else. Justin taking that picture, Alex making that list, Courtney selling me out. But everything from that night and everything after, it all came from one bad decision._**

 ** _The decision to push Clay away._**

She could've told him. He would've understood. He would've stayed with her. If she had, he'd still be alive.

 _I cost a boy his life because I was afraid to love him,_ she thought.

She'd had enough. She knew what she needed to do. Calmly, she took off the headphones got out of the car, and walked towards the cliff.

"Hannah, what are you doing?" Tony said, as he turned and saw her. "Hannah, I think you gotta get back from that edge."

"It all started with me," Hannah said, sounding eerily calm.

"No, no," Tony said firmly. "You are not responsible for what other people do."

"I know what I did," Hannah continued, looking out into the night. "I pushed him away that night. And then Bryce raped Jessica, and then Sheri knocked down the sign, and Jeff died, and then I went to Bryce's, and I blamed everyone else, but the truth is it started with me."

"So what do you think you're gonna do, huh?" Tony asked, his voice tinged with anger and fear. "Reunite with Clay? You think he'd want this for you?"

"Fuck you, Tony," Hannah spat, feeling impatient for a moment.

"You think you could've changed anything?"

"I could've told him to stay," Hannah said softly. "I could've told him what was wrong."

"Fine, you wanna tell him that? Then tell him!" Tony said, his voice shaking. "Right here, right now, Hannah."

"Clay..." she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Tell him!"

"Clay?" she said quickly, looking up.

* * *

 _"Clay?" she said quickly, looking up._

 _His hand on Jessica's bedroom door, Clay stopped at the sound of his name._

 _"Clay?" she repeated, causing him to turn around and look at her, uneasily._

 _He waited, unsure what she wanted from him._

 _"I'm sorry," she said softly, lowering her head to look at the bed she was sitting on, unable to look at him. "Please don't leave."_

 _"I... I don't wanna leave, Hannah," he said, shaking his head, shocked and confused._

 _He took a few tentative steps closer to the bed._

 _"Look, I'll stay... or go, whatever you want," he said calmly. "But tell me what's wrong first, please?"_

 _He took another step closer. She still couldn't bring herself to look up._

 _"What is it, Hannah?" he asked softly._

 _"It's everything!" she shouted, finally looking at him. "It's that picture Justin took, and Bryce grabbing my ass because of Alex's stupid list, and Courtney making up shit about me to save her own reputation, and Marcus only going out with me because he thought I was easy, and..." she trailed off as she took a shaky breath._

 _Clay stared at her, stunned._

 _"My God, Hannah," he said. "I... I didn't know. I'm so sorry."_

 _"You don't wanna be with me, Clay," she said, shaking her head._

 _"But I do!" he said, leaning closer. "I really do!"_

 _"You know what people will say?" she asked, looking him._

 _"No, and I don't care."_

 _"'Cause it's easy for you, right?" she said, slightly bitter. "Because you're not the class slut."_

 _"Don't say that!" he said, looking pained._

 _"Everybody says it!"_

 _"But that's not who you are," he said, sitting down next to her. "It's not. You're more than that."_

 _Hannah stared at him._

 _"You're smart, and funny, and kind, and a hundred times prettier than Jessica Davis, and you're special, and not special like 'retarded', which we still shouldn't say," he said, eliciting a slight laugh from her. "And you write poetry that moves people. And you're stronger than you think," he continued,_ _ _smiling and taking her hand.__

 _Hannah closed her eyes, shaking her head._

 _"I mean it," Clay continued. "You were strong enough to climb a mountain, you were strong enough to face the people who hurt you, and you're strong enough to get through this. And you're worth saving. And I know it's hard, and I'm sorry I can't be here to say this to you but... I love you."_

 _She looked at him, stunned._

 _"And I need you to hold on."_

 _"Clay..." she said, at a loss for words._

 _"Hannah, this is not the end of your story," Clay said, his voice breaking slightly. "So, please, whatever it takes,_ please, _keep going."_

 _Hannah kept looking at him, breathing heavily._

 _"I love you, Hannah," he whispered._

 _Her tears began to fall again, as she leaned into him. Clay immediately wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she cried._

* * *

Crying softly, Hannah could feel a pair of hands on her shoulders gently leading her away from the edge and pulling her into a hug.

Tony let her cry on his shoulder for a few moments, before whispering something in her ear.

"You know he loved you, right?"

Hannah nodded through her tears. It was all she could do.

"Then honor him," Tony continued. "Live another day."

Hannah pulled back and looked at Tony, afraid.

"How am I supposed to do that?" she asked.

Tony gave her a warm smile.

"Any way you can," he said.

She rested her head on Tony's shoulder again.

* * *

Tony's Mustang pulled up to Hannah's house. Hannah heaved a sigh, then glanced at the box sitting in the back seat.

"Can I take them?" she asked. "I swear I'm not gonna torture myself listening to them. I'd just kind of like to have them."

"Tell you what, how about a trade?" Tony said, giving her a serious look. "The tapes for what you got in your pocket."

 _He knew?_ Hannah swallowed. She'd almost forgotten about them. She pulled out the box of razor blades and hand it to Tony, feeling almost like a weight was lifting as she did.

Tony looked at the razor blades, then at her.

"You know," he said. "I didn't answer the door when you first dropped those tapes off with me because, honestly, I didn't feel like getting into some drama at that particular moment. Then, later on, when I heard them, and figured out what they were, I raced over here as fast as I could. I was terrified of what I was gonna find when I got here. You know what I found?"

Hannah shook her head.

"Clay," Tony said, pointing to the house steps. "Sitting right on those steps. Your parents had already taken you away, and he wasn't sure what to do, so he just sat there. His face was still red from running. I mean, he had a bike, and he didn't even think to take it."

Hannah couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"Anyways, when I got here, and ran up to the house, he looked kind of confused, probably wondering what I was doing here. And I said, 'where's Hannah?' And that's when he knew I was there for the same reason he was. And he put up his hands and said, 'she's okay'. And, no offense, but that red, out of breath Clay saying that, was probably the beautiful thing I've ever seen or heard in my life."

Hannah blinked back tears and smiled.

"You're not alone, Hannah."

She nodded.

"If you're up to going, I can give you a ride to school tomorrow."

She nodded again.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tony," Hannah said.

Tony put a hand on her.

"You promise?" he asked.

"I promise," she said.

Hannah got out of the car and took a few steps towards the house, then turned and looked him.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Tony gave her a supportive smile before she turned back to the house.

* * *

Hannah heard a noise from the living room as she shut the door. She looked to see her mother, who had clearly been sleeping, getting up off the couch.

"Sorry," Hannah whispered.

"It's okay," Olivia said, walking over to her.

"Were you waiting up for me?"

"Yeah, I was," her mother said, solemnly, wiping her tired eyes.

For some reason, that gave Hannah a warm feeling.

"Hannah, are you okay?" her mother asked.

Hannah was about to answer, then paused a moment and thought about it.

"No," she said, softly.

Olivia immediately hugged her. Hannah stood there for a moment before relaxing and hugging her back.

* * *

Hannah looked at the students wandering through the hallways, wondering what most of them were thinking.

 ** _The next day was... bearable._**

 ** _So was the day after that, and the day after that._**

 ** _My parents found me a new doctor. A bit further away, but worth the trip. I was able to open up to her a little._**

Hannah closed her locker and walked through the hallways.

 ** _Still, I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something I was supposed to do, but at first, I couldn't figure out what it was._**

Hannah walked into the lunch room, and looked out at the sea of students, eating, talking, laughing, looking at their phones.

All but one.

Alex stared at the tray of food for a moment, then pushed it away without taking so much as a bite.

 ** _But gradually I started to notice something..._**

* * *

Sitting in Monet's, checking a text message, Hannah looked up to see Skye come up to her table and ask if she was done with her cup and plate. Hannah nodded. Neither of them acknowledged the other night.

As Skye reached for the dishes, her sleeve rode up a bit, and Hannah saw several cuts on her wrist.

 ** _...something I couldn't shake once I noticed them._**

 ** _The signs._**

 ** _The ones most people didn't see. The ones no one saw in me until it was almost too late._**

Hannah watched Skye walk away and thought for a moment, then immediately pulled a pen and paper from her bag.

 ** _And once I realized that, I knew what I had to do._**

Hannah began writing.

 ** _I knew what I wanted to say, but I knew I couldn't do it alone. I needed help._**

 ** _From someone I'd gone to for help before._**

 ** _The one person who didn't know why they were on the tapes._**

* * *

Sitting silently in Mr. Porter's office, she reached over the tape player and pressed stop as the tape she'd brought in to show him reached the end.

His tape.

Mr. Porter sat there, stunned into silence. Tears were rolling down his face.

"The last time I walked out of here," Hannah said, finally breaking the long quiet. "I didn't think I'd ever be back here," she shrugged. "I didn't think I'd ever be anywhere again."

"Hannah..." Mr. Porter started.

"If you're gonna apologize, please don't," Hannah interrupted. "I've heard enough of that from people around here lately."

"Listen, Hannah," Mr. Porter said, trying to regain his composure. "Maybe, you should-"

"Maybe I should what?" Hannah said, giving him a cool look. "'Move on?' Hmm?"

Mr. Porter hung his head in shame.

"It wasn't just you," she said, softening her look. "The truth is I don't think I really wanted help when I came in here before. But there's something I need your help with now."

Mr. Porter looked confused as Hannah pulled out a sheet of paper, placed it on his desk, and slid it over to him. His eyes widened briefly as he read it, something Hannah had expected, before he looked back at her.

"So, you want to..." he trailed off, gesturing at the page.

"Yeah, I do," she said, confidently.

"Hannah, I don't know if that's possible."

"Well, I need you to make it possible," she replied. "I think you owe me one."

Mr. Porter looked at the paper again, unsure of what to say.

"I was ready to let go," Hannah said, shaking her head. "I didn't see any kind of future for me. But Clay? I don't know what he would've done with his life but I know it would've been amazing. And now I'm here, and he's not," her voice began to break as tears flowed. "I knelt beside him in the street, and held his hand, and pleaded for him to stay with me. And I watched the life drain out of him. And I never I even got to tell him that I loved him."

"You can't love someone back to life," Mr. Porter said, sympathetically.

"Clay did."

Mr. Porter looked down, still unsure.

"I don't know why this happened, but this is the only way I can make any sense of it."

"Hannah..." he said, gently.

"Please," she said, barely more than a whisper. "Mr. Porter, we both got a second chance. We need to get it right this time."

Mr. Porter wiped one last tear rolling down his face and closed his eyes.

"Give me a couple days," he said, softly. "I'll see what I can do."

Hannah sighed in relief.

 ** _All I could do after that was wait._**


	9. Chapter 9: The Speech

The hallway around her was completely empty. Hannah couldn't remember the last time she'd seen it that way. It had always felt so crowded.

Hannah was leaning against her locker, staring the paper in her hand.

 ** _A few days passed. I was starting to think it wasn't going to happen when I got the word from Mr. Porter. I don't how he managed to convince them to let me do this, and to be honest, I didn't really care, but it was a go._**

 ** _Of course, now that meant I had to actually do it._**

Swallowing and taking a deep breath, Hannah stood up and started walking.

* * *

 ** _I was terrified. I'd almost backed out the day before... until I got a message I hadn't expected._**

Sitting in Monet's, Hannah stared at her phone, her eyes widening at the text from Sheri.

 _Hannah, I'm so sorry about Clay. I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but I wanted you to know I'm going to the police to tell the truth. I'll leave you out of it. This was my mistake, and I'm going to try and make it right._

Hannah looked up, feeling just a bit of resolve.

 ** _Maybe Sheri wasn't so bad after all. And if she could face her fears, what excuse did I have?_**

* * *

As she approached the gym, the murmurs of the crowd inside grew louder, like an angry beast she was expected to tame. She took comfort, however, in the friendly face standing in the doorway, waiting for her.

"Hey," Tony said with a smile. "I just wanted to see you before it started."

"Thanks, Tony,"

"Look, what you're doing takes a lot of guts," he said, putting his hand on her arm. "Whatever happens, I'm proud of you."

The two hugged briefly before Tony stepped away.

"I better go," Tony said with a shrug. "I got a front row seat. I don't wanna lose it."

Hannah chuckled as Tony made his way down the hall before he stopped and turned partway back to her.

"Go climb another mountain, Hannah Baker," he said.

"I thought you said it was a hill," she replied with a sly smile.

"No, you were right," he said, equally sly. "Mountain."

Tony turned and walked away. Hannah took a breath and walked into the gym.

She stood against the wall as Ms. Child gave an introduction, speaking clinically about recent events. Though Hannah took advantage of the pause to take a breath, she quickly found herself wanting to get on with it, if only to escape her nerves.

At long last, Ms. Child finished and Hannah walked over to the podium to a quiet, polite applause, putting down her paper. She didn't quite trust herself to recite it from memory and was grateful a few people from her old poetry group had helped her polish it a bit. Ms. Child gave her a smile and supportive nod before walking off.

Hannah looked out into the crowd. The bleachers were filled with almost every student at school, it seemed. Besides Tony in the front row, she spotted quite a few familiar faces sprinkled throughout the audience. Justin and Tyler were nowhere to be seen. In fact, she hadn't recalled seeing Justin in a few days, but it seemed like everyone else she knew was there, silently judging her. She could only imagine what they were thinking.

For a brief moment, her mind conjured up a terrifying image of no sound coming out of her mouth before she willed the thought away.

Glancing down at the paper, then back up at the audience, she took a deep breath and spoke.

"Hey, I'm Hannah," she said. "Hannah Baker."

She took another breath.

"We've all been talking about Clay Jensen these past two weeks. Well, I like to think I knew him pretty well, so I thought I'd tell you a little about the Clay that I knew… and what he meant to me."

Hannah forced a smile, trying to remember the good parts.

"Clay and I worked together at the Crestmont for about a year. It basically consisted of scraping gum off of seats and coming home every night smelling like burnt popcorn." She heard a bit of quiet laughter at this. "He took me up to the roof and showed me a lunar eclipse once, which is how I know what a 'penumbra' is." A bit more polite laughter, including bit from Hannah herself.

"When he first started there, I made fun of him for wearing a bike helmet. I basically started calling him 'Helmet' all the time, and it kind of stuck." She started to get choked up on the last word, but quickly bit her lip and forced herself to keep it together. She did allow a tear to roll down her cheek, however.

"Clay was...my best friend." Hannah smiled slightly at this. "He was also the only boy I ever loved, and the only boy who ever loved me."

Her face turned serious.

"But that's not really what you wanna know about, is it? Well, fine. Yes, I was there... with Clay the night he died. In fact, he saved my life," she gave the crowd a faint smile "But what most of you probably don't know is it wasn't the first time he'd done that."

Hannah took a breath, then another. This was the hardest part.

"I swear, I'm not trying to make this about me, but in order to explain what Clay did for me, I have to tell my story."

She looked down at her feet, then back up.

"The truth is, apart from Clay, this past year has been...unbearable. I've been harassed, I've been touched and groped without my consent, I've been slut-shamed, I've had rumors and pictures spread all over the school, and those weren't even the worst things that happened to me."

A few students looked at each other. She doubted there was anyone there who hadn't seen or heard something.

"In fact, it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore... and I came up with a list of reasons why I made up my mind to end my life."

A wave of shocked murmurs passed over the crowd but Hannah continued.

"Thirteen of them, to be exact. Some of those reasons are sitting in the crowd today. Don't worry though," she said with a sigh. "I'm not gonna call you out. I've already done that. You know who you are, what you did, and you're the ones who have to live with that."

Hannah paused. The crowd was dead silent.

"I'm not saying I'm innocent either. The truth is, I'm one of those reasons too. I've let people down," Hannah's broke again slightly as she looked at Jessica, who looked back at her. "People who were my friends, and I'm so sorry."

Jessica's eyes widened as she breathed heavily, blinking back tears.

"Like I said, thirteen reasons that made me question whether seeing tomorrow was really worth it, until I finally decided it wasn't… and the only reason I'm standing here today is because Clay Jensen saw me, he saw that something was wrong, and cared enough to stop me."

Another tear rolled down her cheek.

"In the end, all I needed was one reason to keep going. Just one. And that's what Clay was."

Hannah lowered her head for a moment.

"After I lost him, I thought I couldn't go on, but another friend saw me and helped me through it, and he was my reason to keep going," she said, giving a tearful nod to Tony, sitting in the front row, who gave her a warm smile in return.

"And I'm starting to realize I'm not the only one who felt that way," she continued, looking back up at the crowd. "A lot of us feel or alone, lost, or broken. That everyone would be better off without us... but they wouldn't. I still have to remind myself sometimes, but you're not alone, and you may feel lost but you don't know what tomorrow has to offer... and you're worth saving... you're worth helping," Hannah took a shaky breath. "I couldn't help Clay, not like he helped me, but... maybe I can help someone like me, because I know what it's like. So, I'm asking you to try and find something or someone to hold onto. Just _one reason_ to make it through another day. Talk to a friend, or family, or a help line, or just anyone who cares enough to listen and don't stop until you find one. Hell, talk to me. I'll listen."

A few people wiped tears and nodded.

"And if you're one of the people lucky enough not to feel that way, well great, but just think about what you say or post about someone before you do it. You probably don't know what the person next to you is living with... and honestly, it wouldn't kill you to ask sometimes. You don't know what kind of difference you could make."

Hannah closed her eyes for a moment.

"One of the last things Clay said to me was that it has to get better, the way we treat each other, look out for each other, and he was right," she said. "I know I'm gonna try."

She took one last look at the crowd, as her tears continued to flow.

"And I'm gonna be here to see tomorrow. I owe it to him, I owe it to the people who love me," she gave Tony a quick glance. "And most of all, I owe it to myself. I hope to see you all there."

Hannah leaned away from the podium, keeping her eyes on the audience. For a few agonizing, endless moments, they were deathly silent, as if stunned into silence. Then, finally, one boy in the front row, wearing a letter jacket stood up.

Zach.

He locked eyes with Hannah... and began clapping loudly.

Alex, seated near him, quickly stood up and joined him. Tony stood up and applauded as well, beaming proudly. Then a handful more students, then more, and more. The applause and cheers seemed to feed upon themselves, growing more enthusiastic.

Ryan was grinning smugly as he applauded. Marcus was going through the motions, but looked embarrassed, hoping no one would notice him. Courtney did as well, but lowered her head, as if too ashamed to look up. Skye had a cautious, uneasy look on her face, but she was applauding as well.

 ** _I'm not gonna lie. That applause felt really,_** **really _good._**

Hannah breathed a shaky sigh of relief as she looked out at the cheering crowd... until her eyes came to rest on one face towards the back.

Jessica looked back at her. She wasn't smiling, but she was clapping. The two kept their eyes on each other until they finally had to look away.

Through her tears, Hannah began to smile.

 ** _And I kept my promise. I was there to see tomorrow._**

 ** _But nothing could've prepared me for what came with it._**


	10. Chapter 10: See You Tomorrow

_(Author's note: This is it. The final chapter. It's been a heck of a journey. For those who are invariably going to ask what happens to this character or that character now, let me save you some time: I don't know. My goal was to take the story up to the equivalent point at the end of the first season. You can make an educated guess based on what happens next on the show, but that's up to you. Lots of stories and shows end with a little ambiguity for the readers or viewers to decide for themselves, and I think that's fine. I also added on song and artist at one point. I encourage you to listen to it while reading. Thank you for reading this story and don't forget to review. Take care.)  
_

 ** _The speech went viral._**

* * *

"A remarkable follow-up to local tragedy," the news anchor said into the camera. "Nearly three weeks after the shooting death of a Liberty High School student, the victim's girlfriend has opened up to her classmates about her struggles with depression and a suicide attempt in a speech that's being talked about in classrooms across the country."

* * *

 ** _And again, just like that, I was the talk of the school, but... it was different this time._**

Hannah couldn't believe it. Suddenly, she was the school's hero. She was the center of attention wherever she went. People she'd never spoken to at school were coming up to her and congratulating her.

"Hannah, can we get a picture together?" a nervous freshman girl with braces had asked. "My cousin doesn't believe we go to the same school."

"Listen, Hannah, you've got to come to my party on Saturday," one of the popular senior girls had said.

"Hey, Hannah, have you considered joining the debate team?" a boy had asked her at lunch. "We'd really love to have you on board."

"Hannah, I just wanted to let you know we've had four different colleges call here, asking about you," Ms. Child had told her, trying to hide her excitement. "You know, if you can keep your grades up, I think you might have a shot at a scholarship."

 ** _Yeah, it was kind of fun... but every once in a while, I ran into someone who told me it meant something more._**

Hannah had been riding out the past week with a mix of excitement and embarrassment, when a shy looking girl who had sat in the back one of Hannah's classes last year walked up to her. Hannah couldn't recall them ever speaking before. She couldn't even remember the girl's name. The girl mentioned Hannah's speech, causing Hannah to smile politely. She'd been hearing people come up to her and talk about it all week. Suddenly, the girl said something to make Hannah stop.

"I never thought anyone else felt that way," she said, softly. "I just wanted to tell you I've been seeing someone to talk about it because of what you said."

Hannah could only stand there, stunned, at a loss for words.

It happened again the next day, when a woman came into her parents' store. Fighting back tears, she told them that her son had opened up to her about feeling the same way after watching the speech. Hannah noticed her mother squeezing her hand as the woman told them this.

More than one TV station and newspaper had been calling the house, asking about an interview. The number of people following her on social media skyrocketed. There were dozens of posts from people speaking of their own problems and what the speech had meant to them. Some people talked about how a loved one had taken their own life or tried to. Others said it made them reach out to people they were worried about. Hannah tried to respond to some of them at first, but there was just too many.

 ** _Yeah, being popular all of a sudden was kind of fun, certainly better than anything they'd said about me before. But this? It felt like everyone was lifting me up on their shoulders. It felt like I'd actually done something that mattered._**

With an embarrassed smile, Hannah shook her head as she waded through crowded hallway days later, most of the students still smiling at her or saying 'hi'. She ignored the text message she'd gotten inviting her to yet another party that night. The store had gotten really busy lately and her parents needed her. She sighed with relief as students began heading for their classes, and the crowd began to thin out. Hannah was turning to her own locker when something caught her eye.

Another locker, just around the corner from hers, the one she'd stolen glances towards for months, now vacant.

 ** _He would've been so proud of me._**

A wistful smile formed over her face as her eyes welled up slightly...

* * *

 _Hannah jumped slightly as someone knocked gently on the box office window. She'd been checking the till and had clearly gotten a bit distracted. She looked up, slightly annoyed at whoever had disturbed her. The last movie of the night had just started, so they were late on top of that._

 _"Sorry, sorry," the short-haired boy about her age said, looking embarrassed at having startled her._

 _"Welcome to the Crestmont" Hannah said, trying not to let irritation seep into her tone. "Can I help you?"_

 _"Uh, I was just passing by on my bike and I was... wondering if you were hiring," the boy said nervously, gesturing to the bike that was locked up a few feet away._

 _"I'm not sure," Hannah said. "I actually just started here myself."_

 _"Is it okay if I leave a resume?" the boy asked with a smile._

 _"Sure," Hannah said, with a shrug._

 _Hannah sighed quietly as the boy pulled a resume out of his bag, rolled it up, and handed it to her through the hole in the window._

 _"You know you could've just emailed this," she said, giving the resume a glance. Being written by a high school student, it was rather sparse, not that hers had been much different._

 _"Well, I was passing by," the boy said with a shrug. "And I thought actually handing it in might count for something."_

 _"You think that'll get your foot in the door?" Hannah asked, skeptically, with a slight smirk._

 _"Just trying to get noticed," he said, shrugging again and smiling sincerely._

 _"Well, good luck," Hannah said, glancing at the name on the resume. "Clay."_

 _"Thanks," Clay replied, still smiling. "I'll take what I can get."_

 _Clay was still looking at her as he backed away towards his bike. He finally turned to his bike to unlock it, then strapped on a large bike helmet Hannah hadn't noticed until then._

 _For some reason, it made Hannah chuckle quietly to herself as she shook her head._

* * *

 _("Waves" - Dean Lewis)_

 ** _Hannah, you know why I'm recording this tape because, well, you're me... but I'm going to say this anyway..._**

Hannah looked at the locker for another moment, then wiped her eyes and turned away. There were some things she had to do.

 ** _If you ever,_** **ever _, think of doing what you almost did again, I want you to take out this tape and play it all the way through, even the parts that are hard to hear, and remember a few things..._**

* * *

 ** _Remember that, most of the time, we don't know the whole story..._**

Zach looked puzzled as he approached his locker through the crowd and noticed the note taped to it. Pulling it off and unfolding it, his jaw dropped slightly as he read it. Sensing someone watching him, he turned to see Hannah, several feet away, giving him a slight smile, before turning and walking away.

Looking down at the note, Zach couldn't help but smile...

* * *

 ** _...that revenge won't make you feel better..._**

Tyler looked at the hanging photos with a frown on his face as he stood alone in the developing room, He'd been spending a lot more time there lately. He'd started hiding there to avoid people making fun of him because of that photo. He'd made a point to slip in there when Hannah gave her speech, which he'd had no interest in hearing, not after what she did to him. Every time he overheard people talking about how brave she was, he felt so disgusted, it just made him want to hide there for the rest of the day.

Tyler looked at one of Alex and paused for a moment, as that afternoon in the hall passed through his mind, then pulled it down. Setting it aside, he looked at the students in some of the other photos; Courtney, Montgomery, Justin, Marcus... and Hannah. He thought about them, with their perfect little lives, and glared...

* * *

 ** _...that we don't have to forget..._**

Alex sat alone at the lunchroom table, just staring at the floor, having already shoved his tray aside, when his phone jolted him out of his thoughts. He pulled it out and looked at the text message. As he noticed who it was from and what it said, he sat up, his eyes widening.

 _Hey, male. You never finished going through the menu at Monet's. I'd kinda like to see that. What do you say?_

Alex looked up to see Hannah standing over him, her phone in her hand, and a friendly smile on her face.

 ** _...but maybe, sometimes, it's okay to forgive..._**

Blinking away tears, Alex smiled back. The two looked at each other for a moment, before Hannah turned to see someone looking at them from across the room.

Jessica had a surprised look on her face, one that slowly turned into a smile.

Hannah looked back at her with a nervous smile of her own.

 ** _...especially if we want to be forgiven ourselves..._**

* * *

 ** _...that there's courage in telling the truth..._**

A few hours later, Jessica was sitting at the desk in her room, when she heard someone knock on the door frame. She turned to see her father giving her a friendly look.

"Hey, a couple of the guys were talking about that speech your friend gave," he said tentatively. "You know... if anything's wrong, you can tell me."

"I'm fine," Jessica said quickly, with a shrug.

"Yeah?" he father said, walking in and sitting down. "You don't look fine."

Jessica took a shaky breath as tears filled her eyes.

"Daddy?" she finally said, her voice breaking. "I need to tell you... something happened... to me..."

* * *

 ** _...but only if you plan on sticking around for what happens after..._**

For Hannah, it seemed like an eternity between her knocking at the door and someone answering.

"Mr. and Mrs. Atkins," she said to the couple that answered the door. "I... I don't know if you remember me."

"Yes, of course," Mr. Atkins said, more gently than the last time she'd been here. "You're Clay's friend... Hannah, is it?"

Hannah nodded.

"We're so sorry about what happened to him," Mrs. Atkins said softly. "Please, come in."

"Thank you," Hannah said, entering the house, feeling the same sense of dread as before.

 _Not this time,_ she thought, as she steeled herself.

"Listen, um," she said to the couple looking at her, obviously wondering why she was here, taking a deep, uneasy breath. "There's something I need to tell you about the night Jeff died... something I didn't tell you before..."

* * *

Sitting in the Jensens' living room, her hand in Tony's, Hannah could only watch with tears in her eyes, as they went through the tapes one by one with Clay's parents, including the one Clay had recorded. They deserved to know everything Clay had been through because of Hannah. Lainie Jensen was crying softly, with her husband's arm around her. As they reached the end, Lainie looked over at Hannah, who could only wonder what she was thinking.

Finally, Lainie stood up, walked over to Hannah, and pulled her into a hug. Hannah let out a sigh of relief...

* * *

Olivia and Andy sighed as they sat down on the couch. The spike in business at the store was a welcome change, but that didn't make it any less exhausting. The two of them looked up and smiled as Hannah walked into the room, before they noticed what she was holding and the serious expression on her face.

Hannah set the box of tapes down on the coffee table in front of them and pushed it towards them. Olivia and Andy stared wide-eyed at the tapes for a moment, before looking back up at Hannah. She didn't say a word.

She didn't need to.

Her eyes welling up, Olivia reached out and took Hannah hand, suddenly feeling like a weight being lifted off her.

* * *

 ** _...that you still have people who care about you..._**

Hannah, Jessica, and Alex were sitting at a table in Monet's, staring at their drinks; two hot chocolates and some strange concoction Alex had ordered. For a minute, none of them could bear to look at each other, until finally someone spoke.

"F.M.L.," Jessica said, her voice unsteady. _I was raped and the boy I loved let it happen._

"F.M.L.," Hannah repeated, her own voice wavering as well. _I was raped and the boy I loved died._

"F.M.L.," Alex whispered. _I think there's something wrong with me._

Each of them reached out to the hand of the other two, as if holding on for dear life.

* * *

 ** _...maybe more than you think..._**

The three were back at Monet's the next day, with bit more company this time. They were seated at a larger table with Tony, Brad, and Zach for what had become something of a wake. Hannah had dreaded it at first, but started to enjoy it. She excused herself to go use the washroom, turning back to look at the group as she did. Without seeing where she was going, she walked right into the path of Skye, colliding with her, and stumbling a bit.

"Sorry, sorry," Hannah quickly said.

"It's fine," Skye said curtly. She was wearing a jacket and bag and had clearly been on her way out the door, her shift over. Skye turned around and headed towards the exit again, when Hannah found herself speaking up.

"Skye?"

Skye turned around and looked at Hannah.

 ** _...and sometimes it's okay to reach out to someone new..._**

"Did... Did you wanna join us?" Hannah asked, gesturing towards the table.

Skye looked at the table suspiciously, then back at Hannah.

"Why?" Skye asked skeptically. "Cause we have so much in common?"

Hannah looked down at Skye's wrists, then rubbed her own.

"I can think of a couple of things," Hannah said softly.

Skye looked at Hannah warily.

* * *

Jessica rocked back in her chair and covered her face, laughing out loud at the story Skye had just told. The others began laughing as well, before going back to chatting with each other. Nothing serious. Just idle chit chat about school, their parents, anything on their mind. After another minute, Hannah stopped for a moment to look around at the six people sitting around her and found herself smiling. It was a table full of friends.

 _Her_ friends.

Hannah's smile grew wider.

* * *

An hour later, the entire group was standing in a cemetery, looking over one simple-looking grave. There was no headstone. Hannah had been told there wouldn't be one for several months. While the others looked on, she knelt down, placed the flowers over the grave, then kissed three of her fingertips, and pressed them against the ground.

 ** _Most of all, I know you miss him, but he loved you, and he thought you were worth saving... and he was right._**

"I love you, Helmet," she whispered through tears.

Hannah stood up and hugged Jessica, then Tony, who both gave her a supportive look. The group began to turn away, but Hannah turned back to the grave. It didn't feel right with nothing but a small marker there. He deserved more than that. Hannah pulled a notebook out of her bag, tore out a sheet of paper, wrote on it, then set it down.

 _CLAY_

Only then was she ready to walk away.

* * *

Sitting in the passenger seat of the Mustang, with only Tony for company, the wind blowing in her face, Hannah took a breath, then released it, content. The others had all headed home, but Hannah hadn't been quite ready for that yet.

"So, where do you wanna go?" Tony asked.

"I dunno," Hannah said, shaking her head. "Anywhere. Just keep going."

Tony smiled, nodded, and turned up the radio.

 ** _Anyways, this is Hannah Baker, signing off to live her life._**

Hannah had no idea where they were headed. All she knew was she couldn't wait to get there.

 ** _Go live yours._**


End file.
